Khajiit Got Your Tongue
by Anknownymous
Summary: Serana never had many experiences with the cat-folk of Elsweyr, apart from hearing stories of them. Now she got to travel with one... And she still wasn't sure what to make of her experiences with him. [M!Khajiit x Serana. Rated M for our favorite warning: contains NSFW content].
1. The 'Blind' Khajiit

_**Chapter 1: The 'Blind' Khajiit  
**_

* * *

Milky blue eyes were what Serana awoke to, gently stirred by the khajiit. She chuckled when he shook her shoulder again. "I'm awake, Ja'kal."

Ja'kal seemed to stare at her, his hand still on her shoulder. His whiskers pulled in a small smile. "It is customary to wish this one good morning, yes?"

Was he asking because he was wondering about saying good morning to her, or her to him? It still took time to decipher his speech.

Serana pushed up on her elbows. "Good morning." The khajiit nodded, humming as he set about their tent and packed their things. She enjoyed his subdued cheerfulness, listening and working to his tune as she rolled her sleeping bag. She pulled her hood up when he tied the blindfold around his eyes and followed him outside, soaking in the sights of the sunrise as it painted the sky in a magnificent array of colors.

"Wow," she whispered in awe, noticing the khajiit's ears perk to her. "The sunrise, it's beautiful..."

He said nothing, and then she nipped her tongue wreathed in guilt. He couldn't see what she did.

Ja'kal turned towards her, and though he couldn't see her, she still felt awkward under his scrutiny. If he was scrutinizing her. His whiskers flickered. "This khajiit is curious. What does it look like? What colors? Is the sky clear or filled with clouds?" There was an obvious eagerness as he approached her slowly, toes curling and crunching around twigs. She smiled every time he wormed his claws into the soil. There was something amusing in the way he explored his surroundings.

"Red and orange bathing the sky. It's kind of like... A tower of flames, I guess. Lots of clouds."

"What do the clouds look like?"

That stumped Serana. She looked up, studying, thinking of how best to paint the picture for him. "Small rounded puffs scattered about, sort of like... Scales of a fish?" Has he seen them before? There were so many questions she wanted to ask. "How long have you been blind for, Ja'kal?"

"Since this one was a cub."

The swift answer brought with it a swift kick to the stomach.

"Come, we must move quickly if the clouds are like fish. That means it will be cold and the weather will change for the worst tomorrow. This one does not want to be stuck in a cave of ice while it is raining outside again." Ja'kal dismantled their tent, mapping it's dimensions with his fingers. Serana always watched how he navigated even the simplest of tasks, curious of how he coped and how he must have had to learn; mostly about how he had even survived for this long. It couldn't always be sneaking, could it?

"How are you still alive?" She blurted, grimacing. The khajiit slowed, but hadn't stopped. His tail end seemed to hook. She hadn't figured out every signal, but at least she had figured out that it _wa__s_ a signal. That was something, right? If only the castle had books about khajiit...

"You did not see how?" Ja'kal finally answered with subtle amusement lacing his accent. She liked it, it was like every word danced off his tongue.

"I... No. I guess I didn't."

"That is good."

Serana frowned. "How?"

"Because then this khajiit would be poor at hiding if you saw, no?" Ja'kal stripped the last hide of the tent down and rolled it, tying it to his knapsack.

Serana digested the dry joke, stopping herself from shooting back.

This khajiit was poor at seeing what she was hiding: _what_ she was.

**x - x - x**

Ja'kal was humming again. Serana smiled as she watched the tail squish and quiver upwards when he emerged from a small lake, and she took that as a sign of happiness. What he was happy about, she hadn't the slightest clue. It couldn't _possibly_ be because of the fish in his mouth. He was proud, she noted, but it was refreshing to see that it wasn't the type of pride she was used to seeing at home; it wasn't the kind that tore her family apart.

Granted, if she were blind, she would probably be just as happy for catching anything, really; but she couldn't bear to see the fish still wriggling in his mouth and looked away, until he had patted along the shoreline and dropped the fish on top of his shirt. "Drobi?"

"...What? I don't understand. 'Drobi'?" Was it a new word in this era, or had she misheard because of his thick accent?

"Ah, forgive Ja'kal, sometimes this one forgets where he is. Drobi means hungry in khajiit's mother tongue, Ta'agra." He pushed the flopping fish closer, and she grimaced, squeamish. "Eat. It will give more nutrients while it is alive." His bloodstained fangs made a show as he smiled, rousing her darker instincts awake.

"Aren't you hungry too?" She debated with admitting that this was not exactly the kind of sustenance she needed, for the khajiit appeared kind, but she learned that appearances could be deceiving. She still didn't know who she could trust; even less so now that each day she traveled without telling him the truth about what she was and what her home would be filled with. Why would she, if he couldn't see her?

She was more deceiving than appearances, it seemed.

Serana stared as the blind khajiit appeared to stare back, saying nothing. He simply smiled, turned, and dove under again. She sighed as she picked up the fish, frowning at how slimy and twitchy it was. How was she supposed to eat this anyways? She wasn't subject to any disease, but neither was she keen on eating raw meat of any kind. The blood trickling from the puncture wounds of Ja'kal's fangs only beckoned the true hunger gnawing away at her.

Hums broke the surface of the water, and Serana chuckled at how much more cheerful the khajiit was with a fish in each hand, blood trailing down from each claw embedded in the poor creatures that still fought for their lives no matter how hopeless. It was the circle of life, she knew, but she still wished all of this would have been done in a more humane way. She couldn't exactly ask her savior to suddenly change all his ways, especially when it wasn't like he had much of a choice. At least he was extremely generous, but that only honed her instincts to be cautious. Politics in court life taught her kindness was often more dangerous, for it cleverly disguised sinister motives.

"Mi marha!" Ja'kal proudly stated, his chest puffed out and drenched tail swung heavily. Serana guessed it had something to do with the fish. "Three fish!"

And she was right.

"Impressive." Serana smiled at how visible of an effect praise had on the khajiit. She took her fish and stepped back a safe distance away as he climbed out of the lake and set his catch on the shirt, then shook furiously, as she predicted. She laughed even when she was still caught by some water, and the khajiit immediately stopped.

"Sorry; this one got you wet, yes?"

"It's fine, a few drops won't kill me." She turned out of respect when he reached to wring out his loin cloth, wondering in the back of her mind if that particular boldness was due to his apparent friendliness, or blindness stripping away thoughts of what someone else might see. She didn't have it in her to ask; but she couldn't help her curiosity nagging over what it was like for someone else to _not_ see. "What's it like, Ja'kal? I mean, if you don't mind me asking, that is."

"What is what like?"

"Being blind. Is everything just... Darkness?" She looked up in thought, searching for the last vestiges of the sunset's light trickling through the holes of trees. "How do you sleep if you don't see anything anyways? If it's always black, I mean. And what do you see in your dreams? And..." She chanced a glance behind and turned when she saw him wrestle his trousers on. "Sorry. I just realized that was a lot... You don't have to answer any of it if you're uncomfortable."

"This one is never uncomfortable. It is refreshing to have one to talk to." Ja'kal grunted as he hopped about, tugging at the stubborn pants dampening and clinging to wet fur. Serana tried desperately not to smile until she remembered: it wasn't like she was going to be _seen_ anyways. His answer brought more questions, but she tabled them and patiently waited for the ones she asked for. At the rate he was going at with those pants, it seemed another era would pass her by.

"Here, let me help," she chuckled, calling on frosty mist to swirl about in her palm. "I know you said you never are, but this part is still probably going to be uncomfortable for you; I'm going to chill my hand and hold it near your fur, it should make your skin suck in the warm water for heat."

Ja'kal's milky blue eyes bore straight into hers, and she felt awkward under his scrutiny again. He hadn't said anything, and she interpreted no answer was still permission to go ahead. She hovered over his chest first, and his tail drooped as he shivered. "This khajiit said it is refreshing to have one to talk to, not one to freeze Ja'kal." His dry delivery, matched with chattering teeth, wrought a laugh from her. "Skyrim is cold enough, no?" His eyes slipped shut, and the pang in his accent called out to her in a way she could relate. "This one misses the warm sands of Elsweyr."

Serana couldn't think of anything to say, not when she was feeling her own pains. She merely hummed in acknowledgment, watching the khajiit's eyes slip shut as she worked over his arms next. Maybe it was best not to ask questions; he didn't seem to be as curious about her as she was with him. If it was refreshing to have one to talk to, why was she doing all the talking?

Questions, questions, questions, with answers nowhere to be found. When the last of his shivers died out and all fur stood at attention, he smiled. "Thank you, that was kind of you. You are unlike other humans Ja'kal has met." He wrestled on the rest of his clothes and set to work on his meal. Serana made sure she watched him more closely from that point on, but stayed a safe distance away the whole time.

She never told him she was human.

**x - x - x**

"Ja'kal is thinking it would have been wiser to take the boat from Dawnstar," he sighed. "This khajiit's paws are burning with fire in the toes from all this walking."

"Are you sure it would've been wiser?" Serana smirked. "I do recall you saying you'd die if you got on the boat."

Grumbles were her only answer. She caught up beside him and took a good long look at the black blindfold around his eyes, wondering if he could still see through it. His head and ears flicked to her. One ear turned another way and his claws pricked her hip when he missed grabbing her wrist. "Hide," he hissed, "something is coming for us."

Serana leaned back to look across from him, but saw nothing coming down from the beaten trail. Mystical magic fires to life in the khajiit's palm and he cloaked himself, becoming one with his surroundings. Light reflected off his form and it seemed to warp when he ran to the closest tree. She looked over when he clicked his tongue and made a series of sounds, but she wanted to see what was apparently coming for them.

An elk jumped out of the brush. Serana laughed and approached where the khajiit hid. "It was just an animal. An elk."

Ja'kal revealed himself as he swung down a tree branch by his tail, and his embarrassed expression earned another laugh from the vampiress. He hung his head low, mumbling his defense. "This is how this one is still alive." He climbed out of the brush, or tried to. His toes caught on the space in between roots and flew forward, taking Serana down to the ground. She laughed when the khajiit pushed himself back up with urgency. "Urada, ah, sorry. This one is very sorry, Ja'kal did not mean to."

"It's okay," she chuckled, grimacing when aches shot through her body as she pushed herself up on her elbows. It wasn't anything time couldn't fix, and it wasn't like twigs could brutally wound her. She couldn't resist to tease him. "Are you sure this is how you stay alive?" She smiled when he stood, bathed in shame. He helped her back up and she studied his furry hands, glad his claws did nothing more but gently scrape her. It was enough fun for now, she felt bad just seeing how his ears and tail drooped. It was time to change that. "You have really good hearing."

Pride flared in an instant. "All khajiit do, but this one must work harder, so Ja'kal pays close attention to the sounds." He tapped his nose. "Khajiit have good smell too. Serana smells different than other humans."

That set her on alert. She glanced down at herself, curious. Did he know what she was then? "How do I smell?"

Ja'kal smiled. There was something about it that conflicted with the purred exotic answer. "Tarmo._ Halki._"

"What do those mean?"

Whatever it meant, she liked the way they sounded.

"Old. _Moldy._"

"...Ah."

She didn't like it anymore.

**x - x - x**

"Serana, bath? This one found deep water."

That rubbed her the wrong way. She tried not to sulk as she ran her hand along her cloak. "Do I really smell that... _Moldy?_"

Ja'kal grunted. "It is not bad smell. This one was asking because it is customary to have good hygiene, no?"

That was reassuring. She had traveled long enough to know he was forthright with his thoughts. Time would tell if he was as honest as he seemed. Serana closed her book and rose from her stump. "It has been some time since I've bathed."

"Centuries?"

That dampened her spirits. She shot a look at him, hopeless. "Do I really smell that _old?_"

Ja'kal's laugh filled the forest. "You are young and kind at heart. That is all that matters. It does not matter what you are."

Serana smiled, relieved. He knew what she was. He was blind, and he trusted a vampire that could avoid his every sense with his life.

"Come now, this way." The khajiit's fangs showed as he grinned impishly. "Ja'kal will show you where to wash the tarmo and halku away."

Serana punched his shoulder and smirked when he laughed again.

* * *

_**Author's Note** _

_Hello, hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I do love the khajiit and have had some trouble finding stories about them, so I figured I would just write my own and get to learn even more about them from research! As I am forced to type from my phone on the app, that means shorter chapters and simple formatting, but frequent updates. I'm open to feedback and suggestions. Thanks for reading and see you in chapter 2!_


	2. Pictures & Traditions

_**Chapter 2: Pictures & Traditions**_

* * *

Purrs roused Serana awake. She lifted her head and twisted to look behind her, smiling at the way the khajiit's limbs sprawled out. He may as well have taken up the whole tent for himself. His tail end flicked lazily, then thumped on the ground. Whiskers pulled and drew a tiny smile, his purrs rolling deep in his chest. She shifted to lay on her other side just to watch him, relieved that it was possible for him to sleep normally after all.

But what does he dream about if he can't see?

This curiosity wouldn't leave her be; hopefully it would only ever remain a curiosity sated by his answers, and not her own experiences.

Rumbles outside alerted her, and she crawled quietly to check outside the tent. She didn't need to crawl or check.

"Yesterday's clouds promised today's storm," Ja'kal yawned. "We will be safe in here. This one's hides were bought and brought from khajiit caravans. They are best for rain."

Hopefully that was the voice of justified pragmatism and not baseless pride.

Serana turned and smirked when the khajiit folded himself into fetal position, lazy tail patting the dirt again. "Are we sleeping in, then?"

His snores answered her.

It seemed he did not like to travel in the rain, and that was fine by her.

**x - x - x**

"Ja'kal is curious." The khajiit's nose lifted and he sniffed. It wrinkled in disgust. "There is a foul smell nearby."

Serana couldn't pick anything up, and she thought she had a keen nose. She smirked at the khajiit, though it fell; she was disappointed that he could only _hear_ her amusement, and not see it. Good thing his hearing was just as acute as his sense of smell. "Our definitions of 'nearby' are very different, Ja'kal."

He clicked his tongue and turned east. "Let us go this way."

"That's the opposite way of where we need to go, though."

Which, by the way, how did he even get to where he needed to go? Could she actually trust a blind cat's sense of direction?

"A small detour. This human trusts Ja'kal, yes?"

That was a matter of debate.

"I... Yes. Alright then, lead the way."

There was bound to be an adventure out of this one way or another; and while she had to return home, she wasn't in any rush to get there. Serana lingered behind as she watched the khajiit's tail swing merrily. His hums filled the pockets of silence as they navigated through a brush of thick grass, twigs snapping beneath boots and paws. Claws would prick a tree and twist, marking the bark. She picked up numbers muttered under his breath.

"Why are you counting, Ja'kal?"

"Shh, this one must concentrate or we will lose ourselves in this forest."

Oh. Wonderful. Yeah, Serana could totally trust a blind cat's sense of direction. At least she got a sort-of-answer in a roundabout way; she wagered the counting was how many steps they had taken since deciding to take this detour. Then he changed direction again, curious hands mapping trees. He didn't mark them and yet the bark bore holes like the ones preceding them. He'd taken this route before, then.

Ja'kal stopped as he patted a tree trunk and looked in her direction. "This is where Ja'kal needs help. What is to the right?"

Serana frowned when she studied their surroundings. "Trees."

"And to the left?"

"...More trees."

"Ah."

Ah? _Ah?_

"Are we lost, Ja'kal?"

"No, of course not!" The khajiit laughed, but the way his tail whipped nervously had screamed what he actually meant to say.

They were lost.

"This one definitely knows exactly where we are."

They were definitely lost exactly in the middle of nowhere.

Ja'kal patted the trunk again and felt all the way around, hugging the tree. Serana sighed as she came over and studied it, hoping to find a marked hole somewhere. Yes, she wasn't in a rush to return home, but neither was she keen on the idea of being trapped in a dense forest. Her heart sank when the khajiit sighed in frustration. "Urada, Serana."

That sounded nice, but what did urada mean again?

"This one forgot not to lead. Ja'kal always followed." That was not reassuring in the slightest bit. "Let us set up our tent and rest. This khajiit would like a nap."

"Again? You had one at least two hours ago, now. And one before that too."

"Ja'kal likes naps."

"I've noticed." Serana remarked dryly, smiling when the khajiit's shamelessness made itself apparent with a grin of his own. Whether she wanted to or not, he began to unpack, eager for his nap. She helped clear the brush and tossed twigs aside, working in tandem alongside the khajiit as she froze the ends of sturdy branches for him to snap off a little easier. He sharpened the ends with his claws and impaled the sticks into the ground, constructing the foundation while Serana untied and unrolled the hides from their traveling knapsacks.

With practiced speed, they'd set up their tent faster than ever before. It was becoming easier. Natural. They each knew what parts to play and they finally played them well. Serana was first to head inside to set up her sleeping bag, and scooted close to the wall to make room as the khajiit unrolled a thick pelt to lay on.

It wasn't long until he made himself comfortable, curling in on himself, softly purring in content. At least his penchant for naps meant there was time for Serana to catch up on books, but she had only found one in the crypt she was locked away in; the folded page corner marked the nearing of an end.

Something thumped on her ankle. She looked down, staring at the tail end tapping her. Uncomfortable, she moved and crossed her leg away. The tail patted it's way up to her hip instead, and she chuckled as she swatted it away from her face. "What are you doing Ja'kal?" Talk about awkward and weird.

"This one is painting a picture." He inched closer and reached with his hand instead. She caught him by the wrist, his claws far too close for her liking.

"You're going to poke my eyes out and then we'll never get out of this forest," she teased, proud to pull a laugh from him. "What do you mean by painting a picture, anyways? And why with your tail?" She squeezed his wrist to emphasize her next point. "You could've just done this in the first place."

"Ja'kal's tail is very sensitive. It feels more than hands." His fingers curled and stretched. "This khajiit is curious of what Serana looks like. Ja'kal only knows smells and sounds, and wants to know colors and sensations. This one touches, yes?"

Serana didn't know what to make of that, or if she was even okay with it. She pushed his hand down. "No. If you want to know how I look like, you can just ask."

"Okay. Can this one touch?"

"That's what I was saying no to, I mean. I'm... Not comfortable."

"Ah. Urada, Ja'kal did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He retracted his hand, untying his blindfold instead. He set it aside and stared at her. "This one is curious about your hair. What does it feel like?" He shifted even closer, and something started to buzz inside of Serana as faintly warm breaths hit her face. "What does skin feel like? How does it hold warmth when it looks so squishy?"

Every question caught Serana off guard, but then she zeroed in on one word in particular. "Looks? I thought you're blind."

"Hm? No, not completely. This khajiit is afflicted with night eye that should be controlled, but cannot. The world is always very bright and blue; it burns Ja'kal's eyes."

"Oh... So that's why you wear the blindfold, then? To dim the light?"

Ja'kal nodded. His nimble hand was up by her face before she realized it, coiling a strand of hair around his finger as he regarded it curiously. He made the buzzing louder. "What color is your hair?"

"Black," she heard herself mumble, the anxiety dissipating when he released her and shifted away from her.

"Serana's smell makes this one nervous as well. Why are you nervous?"

There was no answer to that, none she cared to share with someone who was still a stranger. She decided to roll and face away, tucking her arm beneath her head as a pillow. "Good night, Ja'kal." Silence fell between them, and she still felt his eyes on her. She frowned when a hand rested on her shoulder, squeezing. She twisted to look behind her, a warning in her eyes, now knowing she was seen to some degree.

Ja'kal's sorrowful smile made her forget about any such warning at all. "Kha'jay krimir iso jer, Serana. It means the moons smile upon you."

They stared. Serana didn't know what to say to that or where it came from, or what Ja'kal's smile meant. Why did he look sad? Then it disappeared, replaced by hope.

"Serana is thinking about letting Ja'kal touch her hair now, yes?"

"No." Serana huffed and rolled away, hiding her smirk from him. "You're going to have to work a lot harder than that. Who do you think I am? You can't bribe me."

Ja'kal laughed, and his tone danced playfully with his words. "You are right. Forgive this khajiit for committing this crime."

"You're forgiven," she teased back, "for now." She heard rustling and stole a quick glance, relieved he was also laying down and facing away from her.

She bit her cheek to stop her smile when his tail eventually draped over her waist.

**x - x - x**

"Ah, khajiit nap is Ja'kal's favorite," he yawned as he stretched his arms, joints popping loudly.

Serana winced at the series of sounds and teased. "It's like your bones are singing you a song." She rested her head on her fist and watched the lazy khajiit untangle himself ever so slowly, not in any rush to go anywhere. Peculiar timing. The closer they got to the northern shoreline, the more naps he took.

Ja'kal smiled sleepily, his whiskers flaring as he tried to yawn and failed multiple times. He turned and crawled to the tent exit to peek outside. "The moons are out."

"Wouldn't it be easier for you to travel, then? You wouldn't need the blindfold."

"But there is more danger. Ja'kal is not comfortable leaving you while this one hides."

"I can take care of myself," Serana chuckled, though found the notion endearing, and something else peculiar. "You don't fight back at all?" How did he clear the crypt?

"Not unless this one has to. Why antagonize when Ja'kal can avoid?" The khajiit's claws could tell a different story of their own with how razor sharp they were. She respected his decision, but she learned running and hiding didn't always solve every problem. He must have known that too.

"There had to have been a time that didn't work."

Ja'kal crawled back towards his pelt and fixed it, smoothing it back out with his hands. Something told her this stubborn cat wasn't going to be climbing out of this tent any time soon. He had an unusually contemplative look and sighed as he laid down, the pain in his voice hinted Serana to drop it.

"There was a time Ja'kal was not always like this."

**x - x - x**

Milky blue eyes were what Serana awoke to again, gently stirred by the khajiit. She smirked when he still shook her shoulder. "You know I'm awake, Ja'kal."

"Yes, but where is this one's good morning?"

"_Your_ good morning? Shouldn't you be saying that to me when you wake me up?"

"It is a human custom, no?"

Serana chuckled. "One you apparently enjoy very much. Why don't you give it a try?"

He leaned back to rest on his haunches. "Do oonpal." Whatever he said, it did not seem to satisfy him. He shook his head. "Khajiit wish moons, not mornings."

"Every tradition starts somehow." There was great amusement to be had just watching how Ja'kal struggled with such a concept. She decided to land the killing blow. "You _are_ in Skyrim, Ja'kal. It's a great opportunity to learn about different cultures." Just like how she got a taste of his. Was it truly that strange to wish good morning for him? Perhaps just as strange as it was to wish 'moons' for her.

Ja'kal stared. He tied his blindfold around his eyes and grabbed her wrist, tugging insistently. "Outside."

"Outside?" Serana laughed when the khajiit pulled with an obvious eagerness. "Alright, alright, I'm coming." She yanked her hood up with her free hand before they stumbled out of the tent. As soon as they did, Ja'kal let go and spun on his paws, holding his arms out as his cheer reverberated in the forest.

"Do oonpal, Serana!"

Serana smiled. He was so full of life. "Good morning, Ja'kal."

"From now on this will be our tradition," he stated proudly, chest puffing out. He hummed cheerfully when he went back inside the tent. "And then you will tell this one what the sunrise looks like when we get out of the forest." It will most likely be high up in the sky by the time that happens. "Come for your things, hurry!"

"We came outside just to say good morning out here?" What was the difference between inside and outside? And that wasn't exactly how 'good morning' worked. Well, it wasn't so bad. It was amusing in it's own right; it gave her something to look forward to, to quell this dread that pooled in her stomach as they neared her home. Could it even be called 'home' anymore? It stopped being one when her family fell apart.

In such a short span of time, she'd grown to think that Ja'kal made for a good companion. It had been too long since she'd had someone she could call a friend.

"Dras, which one is yours?" The khajiit's hands poked out the tent, holding a knapsack in each one. Serana took hers before he got curious about the contents and find the elder scroll inside. Ja'kal didn't need to know about that. Not yet. His hand disappeared back inside and he hummed again, coming out to dismantle the tent. "The burning in this one's paws was worth it for today."

Oh, right. That reminded Serana. There should be a boat that they'll need to take to cross the jetty. And she smirked to herself.

Ja'kal didn't need to know about that. Not yet.

* * *

**_Author's Note _**

_Thank you for taking time to leave a review, guest! I appreciate it! I'm always open to feedback. I'll also translate words not immediately revealed or just as a reminder down here in the AN.  
_

**_Translation_**

_Dras - _(casual) hi/hey, howdy, yo

_Urada - _sorry

_Do oonpal - _good morning


	3. Conquering Fears

_**Chapter 3: Conquering Fears**_

* * *

Ja'kal looked so, _so_ sad, and Serana didn't have the slightest clue why. It couldn't possibly be because of the tiny little rocking boat, of course not. Even she fully trusted the way the old decaying wood of who-knew-how-old as it creaked and groaned. She tried to compose her smirk and wipe it off her face before she turned to him; then remembered his blindfold absolved her of such a cruel necessity.

"Um, this is the part where we get in the boat. You with me?"

"B-boat..." He muttered, terrified. "Ja'kal is going to die if he steps in there." The way his tail pressed tightly against his legs, the end wrapping around his ankle, must have meant to convey fear; it did a good job of it. She felt a little bad for taking such great amusement in this, and worried her lip as she looked at how far the castle was across the jetty. If she was not weakened so from such a long slumber, she'd have enough power to make the trek across if she'd just transformed into a bat.

"You're not going to die, I promise, but I'm going to need your help to row across. It's your turn to trust me, like how I trusted you in the forest."

Why was he so afraid anyhow? He seemed to enjoy water and swimming well enough; that wasn't an option with the chunks of ice floating in the jetty, not for him.

"Serana hit her head and forgot, yes? We got lost in the forest! No, this one is not going. Ja'kal is going to trip and fall and sink. Boats move too much, move where this one cannot see." Claws hesitantly tapped along the docks, mapping the edges. His tail brushed the boat at the moment a wave kicked it up, and he recoiled backwards into Serana. She dug her heels in and grabbed his shoulder before she fell, sighing.

"I'll help you sit down. That's all you'll have to do, and you'll have the paddle to hold on to for balance. I'll talk; paint pictures for you. Would you like that?"

Ja'kal's ears perked at the mention of pictures and he turned around. "What does Serana's home look like? Is there many fish? There must be."

Not even one.

"There's..."

Should she lie? It felt wrong to, especially when he did not care for all the other things she tried to hide before. She chewed her lip as she stared at the jetty. The khajiit felt about, squeezing her bicep all the way down until he found her hand.

"There is a lot of fish," he urged. "So many that Ja'kal will pluck them from the boat after he scoops with the paddle." He pulled to the boat; she soon realized what he was doing, what he needed to hear. "And there is warm sand on the other side, and Ja'kal's paws will burn pleasantly when he digs his toes in."

"And you'll get to eat all the fish you want when you do." She helped him into the boat, grimacing when his claws bit through the thick fabric of her clothing, pricking her forearms. She was glad he was on her side. "My home is... Big." That was an understatement, but she had a feeling their definitions of 'big' were also vastly different. "The beaches stretch for miles."

"Beaches. More than one. Ja'kal can hear birds. Smell seaweed." His voice shook, and he refused to let go of her arms. She carefully lowered until she could swing her legs inside the boat. "Ja'kal will not fall," he chanted, until another wave kicked the boat against the dock. "Mor kha'jay! Mor kha'jay trajir jer, zreho!"

Serana cringed when his grip tightened. "Your claws," she groaned, forcing a thin-lipped smile until she looked at the blindfold again. Right. Thank all holy and unholy that she could still curse with her face. All she had to do was sound supportive. She could manage that. "See? You've stepped in and sat down, and you're still alive. We're in the boat. Everything is okay. You're surviving." She bit her tongue when the claws released, and she checked herself; angry red lines circled her forearm and blood smeared up from rolling her sleeve. She quickly gave one of the oars to Ja'kal before he latched on her again. "Here, hold the paddle."

Something snaked around her calf and she looked down, needing to avert her gaze up at the sky as she bit back her laugh. Ja'kal's tail. He clung to her for dear life. It was tempting to tease and say if she fell over then he'd be dragged in, but maybe she'll tease when he doesn't feel like his life is in danger.

"Stories," his voice trembled, "this one wants to hear stories instead of the zreho." She assumed zreho meant boat, and she also guessed it was a pretty safe assumption that it's use earlier was strictly for the purposes of cursing. It probably wouldn't be the last time she heard it.

Serana took her knapsack off and set it beside her, then stood up so that she could untie the rope keeping the boat secured to the dock. She winced when claws wrapped around her thigh and groaned again. "Easy with the claws, they're a lot sharper than you think."

"Urada." He still didn't let go of her. "But please do not leave Ja'kal."

"I'm not and won't leave you, I promise." Should she actually tell him what was happening? It was hit and miss, whether it'd flare his anxiety up or not. What would she want if she was left in the dark? The truth. "I'm untying the rope now so we can start rowing, and then I'll tell you all sorts of stories, okay?"

Ja'kal whiskers flickered. He nodded, and gripped his paddle as if his life depended on it. "This one hides." It was a second before mystical magic flared in his palm, cloaking him. Serana watched carefully and paid attention to the way the boat _really_ rocked so that the khajiit wasn't just jumping off and running away; but his oar rowed. She pondered why he was hiding in the back of her mind as she took his mind away from here.

"Like I said, my home is big. It's... A castle, actually, but I've never really taken to that kind of life. I always loved to explore."

"The beaches that stretch for miles?" He asked hopefully, the trepidation still quivering under his words.

"The beaches that stretch for miles." Serana waited until she rowed in sync with him; it'd be easier to dance to his tune than explain away until he danced to hers.

"We explore them together after, yes?"

That... Was a matter of debate. Now that she was here, what would happen next? What would father do to Ja'kal? She was bringing an extremely vulnerable mortal into her home and they'll smell the stench of his fear from across the jetty, with how much he hated this boat. She didn't want to lie, but neither did she want to tell the truth.

Problem was: she didn't know what was a lie anyways.

Serana settled for something she hoped was in between, and satisfactory enough. "I'd like to."

Silence fell between them, lost in the noise of her thoughts; she remembered she was supposed to talk to help the khajiit when he revealed himself again, features taut, but the stench of fear slowly swam away from them. "When Ja'kal was a cub, he grew up in a kingdom but never liked that life either. Too many rules. This khajiit never understood them. Dra'kul did. Dra'kul was wise and kind."

"Dra'kul?"

"This khajiit's brother." Ja'kal stopped rowing, and so did she to rest and recuperate her strength. The boat lazily lulled along, carried by the waves. "Ja'kal's only friend, the only one who understood this one. The others say, Ja'kal, you are weak. You cannot hunt, so you are useless. You have no place. Be gone from Elsweyr for you bring shame to the tribe." Ja'kal's fingers drummed on the oar. "Ja'kal say, he does not need a place in Elsweyr. His place is elsewhere."

"Elsewhere... Elsewhere?" Serana was confused. She put the two together when the khajiit smiled impishly. "Oh, your homeland, Elsweyr, but your place is... Well, here, now."

"Not here, here. Soon it will be the beaches that stretch for miles."

Serana looked over her shoulder. They still had a long way ahead of them, but she told him what he wanted to hear. "Very soon, yes. So where's your brother?"

"Dra'kul came with this one to Skyrim. He said his place was with Ja'kal." A reminiscent smile tugged at his whiskers, but it conflicted with the heaviness and pang in his voice. "Dra'kul led and Ja'kal followed; we learned how to survive in this cold harsh land when humans spat on us, called us thieves and smugglers. This khajiit only wants to experience a city at least once in his life." He rowed again, and it didn't seem he was going to continue his story.

There was still something Serana had to know. "So... Where is Dra'kul, then?"

"This one does not know. One day Ja'kal woke up and called to Dra'kul, and heard no answer."

And it was something not just Serana had to know.

**x - x - x**

"Alright, Ja'kal, we're here. I'm going to tie the boat up."

"Can we take a nap, after?"

Serana looked at the khajiit, surprised. "You want to sleep _now?_"

"It was a long trip." He answered casually, as if there was no other answer and she was strange for asking it.

"My home is_ right there,_ Ja'kal." She waved and gestured to the castle, even if he couldn't see. It didn't make his suggestion any less ridiculous, only even more ridiculous with each new suggestion.

"See? Serana agrees: it is not going anywhere."

"I didn't agree to anything," the vampiress sighed as she hopped out of the boat, grimacing as ice-water bit her calves. If she could feel that, Ja'kal was in no shape to. It would take forever for his fur to dry here. She tugged on the rope as hard as she could to bring the boat ever closer to shore, curious as to what the khajiit was doing when he'd crawled to the tip of the boat on all four paws. He didn't need a running start as he leaped forward, catching the sand.

Laughter echoed. "This one made it without falling off and drowning! Come!" He waved with his hands. "Throw Ja'kal the rope; this khajiit knows how to tie good knots."

"We still have to drag it closer so you don't get wet getting in next time. The water's really cold, and that's saying something if I notice it."

"Ah, this one will help pull then." He approached her, but took his sweet time. His toes had to worm into every single grain of sand, it seemed, and Serana chuckled at how happy he was. It was like he wasn't even the same khajiit now as he was in the boat five minutes ago. By the time he reached her, a good solid meter or two, she had dragged the boat to shore herself and rolled her eyes as she gave him the rope.

"It's fine now. Do you know where you're tying this?"

"Ja'kal will find a good spot right now."

There was a stump to their left, but Serana's home was _right there,_ and she knew that there would be no more fun as soon as she stepped foot in there. She retrieved her knapsack from the boat and watched as the khajiit mapped the terrain, numbers muttered under his breath. His tail playfully kicked sand up in the air. By the time he'd finally found the stump, she mused to herself that she would have been halfway across the bridge by now; but she was in no rush.

Ja'kal secured the boat, and whirled around with a hopeful smile. "We nap now, yes?"

Serana laughed. "Alright, alright. Let's set up the tent."

After all, she agreed: her home wasn't going anywhere.

**x - x - x**

Ja'kal yawned, though it turned into a little growl halfway. He stretched his arms above his head and pushed himself up, eagerly crawling over to wake Serana up and hear her good morning. He patted along, and his belly twisted with a familiar dreadful feeling. "Serana?"

Her spot was empty.

"Serana?" He took off his blindfold and hissed when light burned his eyes, but he kept opening and closing them in hopes he would catch a glimpse of her form.

Nothing.

"Serana? Ja'kal is looking for you, where did you go?" He tied the blindfold back on and tumbled out of the tent, holding and falling apart inside. His brother abandoned him. His friend abandoned him. Why? He tried so hard not to be a burden, not to be useless. He did his best to be brave and helped Serana get here, and she still left him.

_Why?_

She was old and moldy but young and kind. She was the only human who never spat on him, and played instead. It didn't matter what she was. She could not help her fangs just as he could not help his. He felt it in his heart she was just like him, and he was just like her. So why did she abandon him?

"Did this one upset you?" He counted his way back to the stump and tugged on the taut rope; it was still holding on to the boat. Had she gone home without him? He could smell that she did not want to, and so he stalled with naps. Why did she go without him? He wanted to be there for when she was uncomfortable, just as she had done for him in the boat.

Nothing made sense. It was getting hard to breathe, and his heart sank as he returned to the tent. He poked his head inside just to try one last time.

"Serana?"

Silence.

It frustrated him, and Ja'kal growled. He was tempted to take off his blindfold and search outside, but he would lose what little sight he had left if he tried, and then he would surely be useless. The khajiit dismantled the tent by stripping the hides off first, and a familiar scent was carried by the wind. He grinned and set off running after it.

"Tarmo! Halki!"

It grew stronger; he laughed when sand sank in between his toes. He felt free, but no warmth. There was no sun to bathe in, but that was okay. It was not harsh snow freezing the pads of his paws. This beach really did stretch for miles. It lifted his spirits even higher, and the smell was _right there._ He stretched his arms out and shouted with joy, "do oonpal, Serana!"

Serana shouted back... Far behind him, with panic.

"Get away from it, now!"

* * *

_**Translation**  
_

_Mor kha'jay - _(general curse) dark moons

_Mor kha'jay trajir jer -_ dark moons take you (yes, that means he was cursing a boat)_  
_

_Zreho - _boat

_Tarmo - _old

_Halki - _moldy

_Do oonpal - _good morning


	4. A Cat's Nine Deaths

_**Chapter 4: A Cat's Nine Deaths  
**_

* * *

Fangs bared in a hiss, electricity fired to life in Serana's palm and she hit the draugr with all the energy that buzzed from her hand to her shoulder. The force knocked the wretched monster a safe distance away, and she rushed to the khajiit. The smell of blood nearly overwhelmed her and her fangs protruded from her lips, licking them without thought.

"Ja'kal?" Serana ripped open what was left of his robes to expose his chest, and rested a tentative hand over the gaping wound lacerating from his shoulder to his sternum. She checked his forearms, where one had been sliced open from the end of the draugr's swing. Ja'kal was lucky he hadn't lost his hand outright.

But that meant nothing if he lost his life.

"Stay with me," she urged, kneeling lower until her ear was near his mouth. Weak breaths hit her cheek, and adrenaline flooded her when she sprang into action, feeding her muscles with the strength she needed to cradle and carry the khajiit. "Just... Stay with me, you're going to be alright." She shook him in her arms to try and rouse a reaction, but he was out cold. His scent changed from something that planted images of savannas and canyons in her head, to caves and graveyards. That was a terrifying sign.

How was she going to introduce him to the court now? She wanted to say he was her savior, in hopes it would appeal to father's honor and help Ja'kal leave untouched. Now she was saving her savior; Ja'kal had no chance of leaving Volkihar castle without becoming a vampire or thrall.

Every step taken, Serana cursed at herself. She just wanted to explore the broken tower, to climb to the top and soak in the view. If only she never left; but if there was one thing she learned, it was that regret was pointless. She was here and now. Serana raced across the bridge, panicking when she finally realized that heat left the khajiit's body.

"Lady Serana is back, open the gate!" A voice from the far end yelled in a mix of eagerness and surprise.

Right. She was home again, and common sense chiseled it's way into her thoughts again. She was bringing a vulnerable mortal who was bleeding profusely into a den of _vampires. _Serana gently laid Ja'kal down, charging frosty mist to her fingertips. She had to slow and stop the bleeding without icing his skin, or it would just die and render the wound larger. If only she knew restoration magic.

Would anyone in the castle know it? The art would likely be seen as an _insult_ to vampires. Composure began to unravel as every dismaying thought crossed her mind, whittling her options down to nothing. She couldn't help Ja'kal, and if she couldn't, who would?

"Lady Serana? Is that truly you?"

That voice! Serana looked up, and hope filled her. "Garan! Please, help him. A draugr attacked him and..." And why was he looking at her like she spoke another language?

Vingalmo lurked behind Garan, then twisted to shout over his shoulder. "Everyone, come! Serana has returned!"

Serana gritted her teeth when she saw the bloodlust flicker over the elves' eyes, and protectively cradled Ja'kal against her as she rose. "My friend needs help, is there anyone in the castle who knows healing magic?"

Garan stared, lost in a stupor. His gaze was riveted to the icy frost that slowly stained red. He snapped out of it when Serana cleared her throat. "No, my Lady."

"Is he your pet, Lady Serana?" Vingalmo asked, mildly amused. He had not bothered to hide his bloodlust as he stepped closer, ignoring the warning look in Serana's eyes as he licked his lips. "I've not tried khajiit before. Your taste has certainly elevated to the _exotic._" His gaze lifted, peering at her with hooded eyes. "If you want to save him from bleeding out and from all of us tearing into him, then I suggest you turn him."

The words knocked the air out of her chest, and dizziness nearly swept her off her feet. Garan reacted quickly and rested a steady head on her shoulder. She shook her head. "No. I'm not... I can't." She looked down at Ja'kal, features twisted in pain. He was going to die if she didn't do anything, but she couldn't bear the thought of turning him without his permission. There had to be another way.

Garan was the only one trusted enough for his hands to come anywhere near the khajiit. The dunmer ran a hand along the ice lacing the tips of fur, curling his nose when fresh blood matted the hair and weighed it down, it's warmth melting and breaking the thin ice. He looked over his shoulder as other curious members of the court lingered at the gateway, and Serana dreaded the moment her father would show. Garan retracted his hands and spun on his heels with poise, leading through the salivating crowd. "Come, Lady Serana, perhaps Feran will have the ingredients to mix something that will help your friend."

"Feran? Who's that?"

"Our apothecary. He joined us... Roughly a century ago, now, so you wouldn't have met him. Come this way, while Lord Harkon is still in his chambers."

Serana adjusted the khajiit in her arms, her strength waning. She didn't dare let go of him with this many hungry eyes set on his wounds. She wrinkled her nose in disgust when she caught murmurs, many of them talking about Ja'kal as if he's food... Or her pet. She greatly appreciated Garan keeping his thoughts to himself, simply ready to help her no matter her motive.

Memories slammed her as she entered the castle. The dim lighting set an eerie mood, the stink of death and blood overpowering; it called to the dark hunger gnawing away inside of her. She would have been a liar if she said her instincts didn't whisper and entertain the idea of feeding on the khajiit herself.

"Feran! Come here for a moment, your prompt assistance is required!" Garan's deep voice commanded, his cutting gaze shutting down an approaching wood elf. Serana didn't recognize him either, and that meant she didn't trust him. She called on the last bouts of strength left in her arms as she hugged Ja'kal closer to her, not caring that his blood got on her clothes. She watched as another dunmer roamed on the second level, looking over the railing at them. His eyes widened when it met hers.

"Lady Serana?" He asked in disbelief, and she nodded awkwardly. How many people committed the image of her to memory, and _how?_ "One moment, I'll be down there soon. Ronthil, wake up, fool! See to their needs!"

"A-at once," the wood elf stuttered nervously, and tripped over his feet when he tried to rush over. Serana was beginning to grow agitated the more time was wasted. It was all a blur, spinning, and she felt like she was caught in a haze of reality and imagination. There was something surreal about all of this, and that feeling intensified whenever she glanced down at the bloodstained ice coating the khajiit's chest. The wood elf interrupted her thoughts. "How may I serve?"

Garan stared at her, seemingly awaiting commands as well. She hated this aspect of royalty. She didn't need yes-men or boot-lickers or pawns. The dunmer took it upon himself to order in her stead. "Clear the carcass from the table, Ronthil, and cover it with the cleanest cloth or blanket that we have. We are going to help..." His eyes roved over Ja'kal, then up at Serana. A measure of understanding passed between them. "Lady Serana's pet."

It was the only way to ensure immunity, she knew. It didn't make her not hate it any less.

Ronthil did as he was asked, and Serana grunted in relief when she imparted the weight from wearying arms. With Garan's help, Ja'kal was lowered to the table without antagonizing his wounds, and Feran took his sweet time climbing down the stairs. He clasped his wrists behind him as he approached to regard Ja'kal with a mix of curiosity and hunger, as all the other vampires. "A khajiit? I've yet to work with such a specimen. And he's still alive! Even better. Ronthil, fetch my dissection kit."

"You aren't dissecting him. Lady Serana wishes for you to aid him." Garan stated firmly, and Serana remained quiet. She crossed her arms and steamed in silence, glaring at Feran when the dunmer looked up at her with an offended look. She _dared_ him to question her. He backed down, but was audacious enough not to care for hiding his displeasure and irritation.

"Very well," he sighed, "I will do what I can, but no promises."

"You will do everything you can, and you will promise that." Serana pressed confidently, but cared not to overdo or overstep. She had only just returned. Exercising whatever authority she may have had would only make her appear tyrannical and insolent; it would only make them plot against her later, and potentially Ja'kal in order to get back at her.

Ja'kal. What was the next step when he was better? She needed to know, needed to prepare, needed him to get out of here just as safely as he got in.

Feran collected some ingredients from the shelves, dumping them in Ronthil's arms. "Carry these to my mixing station." He looked at Serana, a subdued smirk tugging the corner of his lips. "I promise I will do everything I can to save your _pet,_ my Lady. Now, unless your ladyship is not keen on getting her hands dirty like Lord Harkon, then you should apply pressure to the wound to slow it from bleeding."

"Remember your place. You'll address Lady Serana and Lord Harkon with respect," Garan warned, but the other dunmer grunted and went to his alchemy station.

Serana didn't care as long as Ja'kal got the treatment he needed. She dispersed the flakes of ice sticking to his fur and chilled her hands, leaning over the table and stacking her hands to apply pressure over the wound. At least it did not seem deep or immediately life-threatening, but she worried he'd already lost so much blood and was now on the path of a slow death, organs shutting down one by one.

Small bowls aligned on the table, and Feran handed one to Serana. "Here, this is all I have for now. They're salves to help your pet heal on it's own, but faster."

"How long will that take?"

"Days, perhaps, and that is if whatever attacked him was not harboring disease. I've not cared to study khajiit before, so it could very well not work with his physiology. His fur could react with it instead of his skin, or his system may metabolize it differently and render it useless. He may very well have to be _turned_ to stay alive."

"That's not an option."

Feran shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

"And this is all you can do?" Serana started to lose hope, staring at the salve. She lathered it on Ja'kal's chest and waited as patiently as she could, ignoring the noise of the crowd growing behind her. Dread gripped her in an an instant and Serana froze when a patronizing voice filled the castle.

"My dear long lost daughter..."

**x - x - x**

Pain roused Ja'kal awake and it flared when he gasped, his chest tight and heavy as if something sat on him. He had to reach up with his hand to figure out which way he faced, catching air. He was on his back. Sharp aches throbbed on the right side of his neck and he slapped his hand over it, feeling wet fur. The stench drowning the air made him gag and nauseous.

"Ja'kal?" Soft, familiar. Serana. "Hey, take it easy. You're okay, you're safe." That was hard to believe. "Just breathe."

"This one does not like this place," he grunted, "it smells of death. Did Ja'kal die?"

"No, but you almost did _s__everal_ times. Cat's nine lives at work, I guess." There was a slight chuckle buried deep in her voice, and an overwhelming sense of relief. Something small hooked on his good shoulder and gently pushed him down. "You need to rest. Lay down, I'm combing the blood out of your fur."

That was a horrible blow to his pride. Ja'kal frowned and clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth. "Khajiit cannot be _combed. _Ja'kal is no house cat." Now he knew how the Alfiq suffered so because of their form, mistreated and humiliated even among fellow khajiiti.

"Well, this khajiit is," Serana's voice slowly gained more strength and levity. "Play nice or I'll brush you instead. It's just to get the dry blood out; it's matting your fur."

Grumbles vibrated deep in his chest, and he forced it to _stay_ that way when every comb wanted to make purrs rumble instead. His skin would tense and quiver when the comb would stroke a patch of fur out of the way, and little fingers plucked or scratched the flakes of blood off. It was relaxing. He still didn't like the smell though; he couldn't pick up Serana's scent within it and tried to angle his nose down as inconspicuously as possible. It didn't work.

"What are you doing?" There was amusement in her tone, and he liked the way it would make her words dance off her tongue. This wasn't just a human that was kind to him, but saw past his barrier and treated him as Ja'kal the fierce khajiit_,_ and not Ja'kal the blind cat.

A purr rumbled out. _Very_ fierce.

"Trying to smell you," he quickly said in hopes to cover up the purr. For once in his life, he was tormented by the fact that he couldn't see, rather than accepting it; he couldn't see if she heard his purr and played along with him or not, but there was another urgent problem. Whatever inhabited his nose on the inside was _dying_ from this smell. "This one really does not like the stench of death. It is not comforting or taking Ja'kal to a happy place."

"I'd be worried if it did," Serana hummed her tease, still giving no other indication if she heard his _fierceness_ a moment ago.

"Serana takes Ja'kal to a happy place."

There was a pause, and the comb stopped. He held his breath to listen to hers. Had he upset her somehow? It was hard to open her up when she was so closed off; it didn't make sense to him. Emotions were meant to be felt, not stowed away. His fur stood at attention when a nail gently scraped more flakes of blood away, and his skin quivered for a good reason instead. He smiled when Serana's words danced once more.

"Ja'kal takes Serana to a happy place." There was another pause, and then Serana laughed. "It sounds so strange, talking like that. I don't know how you do it."

"Just as it is strange for _me _when _I_ talk like this, and _I_ do not know how you do it." His whiskers scrunched, confused by the forced changes in his speech. He relaxed and fell quiet as the nimble fingers worked, leaving not a strand of fur left untouched. "Tonsh jer," he mumbled, and Serana stopped for a moment. "It means thank you. Tonsh jer zira na. Thank you very much."

"Oh. Well... You are very welcome."

That brought the warmth of the sands into Ja'kal's chest, and his smile grew. "You are kind. You did not have to help this one, and you did. Ja'kal will not forget this."

There was something thoughtless in the way Serana's hands moved, and the fingers lost passion as they became mechanical, cleaning his fur like it was routine. It wasn't hard to silence the purrs because he felt no need to purr at all anymore, and he missed the tingles that made his skin quiver for good reasons. The words no longer danced off Serana's tongue.

"I'm glad you're alive... But I'm worried about the _cost._"

"Serana is thinking this one must pay off the debt, yes?"

"I think it's already been paid." The heaviness and exhaustion in her voice did much to unnerve the khajiit; her question even more so. "What do you want to eat?"

Ja'kal had to think about it for once, and he was confused by his answer.

"Fish blood."

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Thanks everyone for following this story. I do highly recommend it, not just for 'stats', but because if a story is updated under the 24 hour counter then fanfiction does not reset the story to show it's been updated; like yesterday, I published chapter 2 and 3 within hours of each other but the update counter did not show that another chapter was published. If you're a guest without an account then I suggest bookmarking the last chapter you've read so that you can make sure you haven't missed any new ones, just in case if I publish more under the 24 hour clock.  
_

**_Translation_**

_Tonsh jer - _thank you

_Tonsh jer zira na -_ thank you very much


	5. Throwing Books

_**Chapter 5: Throwing Books**_

* * *

Shadows shrouded Serana as she watched from the second floor. Vingalmo and Orthjolf bickered in the middle of the court, as they always did, and she'd lost her interest as soon as that thought crossed her mind. She scanned the new faces in the crowd, trying to get a feel of who instincts murmured she could trust, and who to avoid.

Many of them were to avoid.

Steps echoed and she looked down at the corridor, returning the small smile Garan gave her. He could be trusted. He never cared for politics like her, and taught her destruction magic. His lessons numbered among her fondest memories.

Garan came up beside her with a goblet in each hand, swirling the red liquid inside. The sweet smell gave it away right away. _Wine. _He caught her eye and offered a goblet. "I could have Ronthil fetch us some more bottles, if you'd like." She shook her head and leaned on the railing when the bickering intensified. Garan chuckled. "Lost to us for over an era, and you've come back to the _glory_ of politics. You've not missed much, I assure you, Lady Serana."

"I've noticed," she quipped dryly. Tense silence stretched between them, and she glanced over when Garan set both goblets aside to lean on the railing with her.

"How is your friend?" The whisper could still be picked up by anyone paying attention to them, but she appreciated his discretion and his efforts to protect both her and Ja'kal. The wrong word heard by unwanted ears could spell more devastation in the game of politics than an overt move to overthrow and undermine her.

"He's taken to the news well. _Too _well. I'm... Worried."

"That he's accepted the gift with open arms, or putting up a front for you?"

"Putting up a front." There was no doubt; she just didn't get that feeling the way she did with others. Ja'kal didn't hunger for power. He hungered for _adventure._

"Perhaps he is just as scared of how you will look at him as he is of what our gift entails," Garan suggested, and Serana arched her brow at him.

"How I'll look at him?"

Garan chuckled. "Anyone with eyes can tell he's not just taken to the news, but taken to _you _as well, Lady Serana. His tail says it all."

That surprised her and she pushed up from the railing. "You know what that means?"

"Now I do. I didn't, prior to his arrival." He shrugged, reaching for his goblet to sip on. "I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of getting Ronthil to procure as many books relating to the khajiit as possible; out of curiosity, I've read some of them myself." His amused glance was deciphered more than a swing of a tail, and she aimed to fix that. "I've stowed them away in my coffin; take care where you read and hide them, if you do not wish for unwanted eyes to make assumptions and rouse jealousy among suitors in the court."

Serana frowned at that. "Suitors?"

"Of course, and there will be many vying for your hand. It would be the easiest way to covet the throne should anything ever happen to our Lord. Take care of any who approach you with a smile for they want nothing you offer except the promise of power, and they will see your... _Friend..._ As a challenger."

Right. Power. It always came down to power.

"Thank you for the warning, Garan." Serana looked down at the court, where she'd caught the eyes of some. She bit back a sigh. She needed to get out of here and wrap her head around what appearances she'd have to convey in order to protect Ja'kal; too many could see their friendship as something more, since these power-hungry vampires couldn't comprehend what friendship was even if it knocked them over the head. She politely declined when Garan offered her the goblet again and smiled. "I'm going to go check on him."

"Allow me to do that for you, Lady Serana; you were with him an hour ago. Too many sightings will spark rumors, especially if it will be in the hopes to antagonize you into reacting unfavorably when all eyes in the court are on you."

"But..." She frowned when Garan gave her that look, and she conceded. She could trust him with Ja'kal. "Alright. I'll go take the books now, then. Could you tell him to meet me at the broken tower outside? At dusk, so that he can come on his own."

Garan folded his arm across his waist and bowed respectfully. "I'll see to it at once; and if I have your permission, I will impart the same warning to him."

"No, let me. He might have trouble understanding politics and it's my responsibility to educate him."

If he had trouble with the 'kingdom' he grew up in and said there were too many rules, then... Well, he was about to learn the aggravating nuances to the subtle slow dance of vampires and aristocracy. She wanted to bear that burden, to be the one that helped him swim instead of sink.

After all, she was the one who _ruined_ his life.

**x - x - x**

The Real Barenziah, volume three. Where were all the other volumes? And what could the famous Queen of Morrowind have to do with khajiit?

Serana sat against the tower's parapet, twisting to look in between the spaces of the embrasures and see if there was a khajiit coming down the bridge. With what she knew of Ja'kal, he'd likely be invisible anyways, and now he no longer had a heat signature for her to tune to. She trusted he'd reveal himself as soon as he was here. She returned to her book and opened it, unfolding a piece of paper that appeared to be Ronthil's. 'Original version' was written on it.

For some reason, dread pooled in her belly; it only fueled her curiosity. She would soon learn to regret ever feeding it as she read.

_They settled into Rifton for the winter, taking a cheap room in the slums. Barenziah joined the Thieves' Guild, knowing there would be trouble if she were caught free-lancing. One day in the barroom she caught the eye of a known member of the guild, a bold young Khajiit named Therris. She offered to bed with him if he would sponsor her for membership. He looked her over, grinning, and agreed, but said she'd still have to pass a test._

_"What sort of test?"_

_"Ah," Therris said. "Payment first, sweet thing." He put an arm around her, leaned over and kissed her, thrusting his tongue deep into her mouth and his free hand into her shirt._

_"Nice," he said presently, withdrawing his tongue, but not his hand. His other hand slid down inside her waistband and fondled her buttocks._

_"Let's go upstairs. We can use my room," Barenziah felt both embarrassed and excited by his boldness._

_Therris grinned insolently. "Why bother? You want me, don't you? I'll bet you'd pay me, wouldn't you?"_

_"No," Barenziah said. She did want him, but not that badly._

_"No? Well, a bargain's a bargain and Therris keeps his word. But here. Now." He hiked her skirt up and pulled her onto his lap so she sat astride, facing him. He opened her shirt and pulled it down on her shoulders so that her breasts were exposed._

_"Nice pair, kid." She was facing the wall but she could feel the stares of the other patrons. A hush had fallen over the place. Even the bard had stilled. She felt both nausea and a hot burning desire. Her hands released his turgid penis and then it was inside her and she was screaming in both pain and ecstasy. Then everything went black._

_When she came to herself again she was sitting beside Therris, who was buttoning her shirt._

_"That hurt!" she said indignantly._

_"Always does, kid. Didn't anyone ever tell you about Khajiit men? It hurts good though, now doesn't it?"_

_Barenziah scowled at him. She was still smarting. His penis had tiny little barbs on it._

"Serana?"

Serana jumped in her seat and in her panic, she threw the book over the battlements. She stared at Ja'kal wide-eyed, forcing a smile as she ignored the squeamish heat that crept up her throat. Her lungs refused to inflate and it was as if she was trying to breathe through a flute, struggling to find the right words to excuse her reaction.

Now, she loved books, but she had to find that one before someone else did and _burn_ it. It took all of her willpower to stop all manners of questions that would surely embarrass Ja'kal just as much. The khajiit simply shrugged her weirdness away, thank hell, and he merrily took his seat beside her as curious fingers poked the stack of books. If there was another one like Barenziah in here, she would also burn Garan and Ronthil.

"Ahzirr Traajijazeri," he plucked it from the stack, whiskers pulling in a small smile. "Ja'kal likes this book. Many in the kingdom would turn this khajiit's fur into a rug over it, though." He looked over at the stack again, and for some reason, Serana just couldn't find the words. She helplessly watched his milky eyes rove over the books and smiled timidly when he looked up at her in surprise. "Serana is learning about the khajiiti, yes? This one can help. Every cub knows his history, for he drinks it in his mother's milk."

Well, there was an image. At least it was better than the one Barenziah planted.

"I... Yes, I'm learning." She glanced at the stack and chuckled. "It seems I have much to learn."

"Ahzirr Traajijazeri helps, but like the book, it cannot guarantee you will still understand us." He opened the book, his claw tracing the line he read aloud. "Grasp this simple truth _\- q'zi no vano thzina ualizz - when I contradict myself, I am telling the truth._" It seemed he too enjoyed to read, and this book was apparently one he loved well as he flipped straight to the pages he seemed to relate most to.

"This book is about the Renrijra Krin, which is why so many khajiit hiss; for the Renrijra Krin do not ally themselves with the Mane, who symbolizes and at time unites all of Elsweyr. Renrijra believe in justice, but do not follow laws." That... Didn't make a lick of sense. "_Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz._" When they contradict, they tell the truth; and that didn't make sense either. "Here. Read this part, it is this one's favorite part of the book. These are no rules, for there is no word for 'rules' in Ta'agra. Call them our _thjizzrini - foolish concepts_." He nestled the book on Serana's lap when she stretched her legs out, and he tapped the passage.

_1\. "Vaba Do'Shurh'do": "It Is Good To Be Brave" _

In each numbered paragraph, it summarized the 'foolish concept'. She smiled when she reached the next, for it summarized Ja'kal just as well.

_2\. "Vaba Maaszi Lhajiito": "It Is Necessary To Run Away" _

Ja'kal's finger slid to the last sentence of the paragraph as he read aloud with notable amusement dancing in his accent. "Yes, we loved the Renrijra Krin who died in brave battle against the forces of the Empire, but I guarantee you that each of those Ri'sallidad had an escape route he or she failed to use, and died saying, 'damn.'"

_3\. "Fusozay Var Var": "Enjoy Life" _

It caught Serana's eye. She looked over when the khajiit's shoulder pressed against hers, and Ja'kal looked up at the night sky, regaling and reminiscing stories. Curiosity nagged her as to what the third concept had to say, and so she plucked the book off her lap, skimming the paragraph.

She would soon learn that she didn't learn from her mistakes.

_Life is short. If you have not made love recently, please, put down this book, and take care of that with all haste. Find a wanton lass or a frisky lad, or several, in whatever combination your wise loins direct, and do not under any circumstances play hard to get. Our struggle against the colossal forces of oppression can wait. _

Serana threw the book over the battlements.

Ja'kal looked back down, his gaze pinned to her now-empty lap. When his brow furrowed in confusion and he glanced at her, she forced an innocent smile and plucked a random book from the stack, making a mental note to burn Garan and Ronthil _very_ slowly. He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth and his nose wrinkled with disdain as he picked up the book. "Khajiiti honorifics. We khajiit cannot make up our minds, for honorifics change like the moons. The tribe used to tease Dra'kul when _dra_ became for the lionesses, but wise and proud of mother he was, he kept it."

"It sounds like both of you like to defy and make your own... _Th-jizz-rini._" It rolled off her tongue clumsily, but it brought a bright grin to the khajiit's face. It helped soothe the ache of the sight of his fangs, now protruding from his lip; but whenever he smiled, it was like he was still Ja'kal the khajiit and not Ja'kal the vampire. "So what does yours mean, and how does it work?"

"It can be in front of the name or at the end; Ja'kal's is in the front. _Ja _means young adult, inexperienced, and a bachelor."

"That seems like... A very specific trait to emphasize. Who decides it?"

"This one can, or clan, or family. It is the last one mother gave to Ja'kal when he was of age, and this khajiit does not want to change it. It is all Ja'kal has left to remember of home and _warmth._" The pang that started to creep into his voice made her ache, especially when he closed his mouth, but his fangs remained out. She noticed how patches of his fur were gradually fading in it's color, lightening from brown to blonde.

She took his warmth away, and she didn't even have the courage to broach the subject of his feelings. Coward.

"Can non-khajiit have an honorific or is it considered an insult?" Serana asked, hoping to help them stray from darker thoughts. Her answer came in the form of a smile.

"It is no insult, but khajiit names must have meaning. Serana has... Many options; but Ja'kal is thinking Serana-la, or Serana-ro, to make it _dance._"

"What do they mean?"

"La is high-caste maiden." How did he know if she was unmarried? "Ro is... Rare, and it is the version for women. Ri is for men, awarded to great leaders and those of highest standing, and the Mane. Ro means the same and is for noblewomen of great status, but Ja'kal thinks it takes more than what is in your blood to define 'noble'. This one thinks you would make a great Mane if you were khajiiti; you are a true_ noble_ woman."

What it meant to be Mane, she still had no clue, but at least she had plenty of books at her disposal to learn all she could of Ja'kal's culture.

"There are others," Jakal hummed. "There is _daro,_ which is clever and inquisitive. _Ko,_ wizard, and scholar. Hmm... This khajiit has been elsewhere from Elsweyr for too long." He liked to confuse her, didn't he? "There may be many news ones, and the meanings could change, yes? It is up to you to choose what you like."

There were too many options, and she still didn't understand many of them; or remembered. "What would you pick?"

"Serana-ro." Ja'kal didn't even hesitate, and she smiled. The khajiit looked down as he stroked the word 'honorifics' on the book.

She laughed when he threw it over the battlements.

* * *

_**Author's Note** _

_Don't get me started on Barenziah. Don't. That's one part of my research I cannot unsee lol. Now I am not alone. You're welcome for scarring you too :P  
_

_**Translation**_

_Ahzirr Traajijazeri - _we justly take by force

__Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz - __when I contradict myself, I am telling the truth

__Thjizzrini - __foolish concepts

_Ri'sallidad -_ the dead (martyrs)


	6. Battle of Wits

_**Chapter 6: Battle of Wits**_

* * *

Ja'kal's focus was waning, and Serana didn't need a book to tell. His head drooped. His eyes were closed.

And he _snored._

Serana cleared her throat as loudly as she could, and the khajiit was startled awake, tail straightening in alert. "What? What? Are we under attack?"

"You will be," she teased, smiling when his ears fell with shame.

"Urada, Serana-ro. This one does not do well with lessons."

"I've noticed." Serana chuckled when his head bowed further, and she reached to squeeze his shoulder. He flinched and seemed to expect a hit. She never would, retracting her hand so he could relax. "I'm not the one who will attack you, Ja'kal, but the others in court might if they get... Ideas. I just want to make sure you're going to be alright for the times I can't be with you inside the castle."

"You can," he countered with a charming smile, "just outside the castle. And we can explore outside, yes? There is no one stopping us from leaving." His whiskers pricked and his eyebrows rose in curiosity. "Is there?"

"Well... No..." But she needed to observe her father, to try and gain the upper hand for when he made his next move. That he had not yet leapt with a plan to continue his work on the prophecy still made her wary, but she didn't dare ask anyone of it; any inquiries would backfire on her.

"Good, because this one has found a spot with lots of fish, and Ja'kal would like to take you to the beach."

Wow. He certainly wasted no time. "Doesn't the cold water bother you?"

"This khajiit did not notice," Ja'kal shrugged, and his smile grew ever larger; he was rapidly becoming larger than life, and that started to scare her. "Skyrim is no longer a cold harsh land, nipping at Ja'kal's paws with it's cubs of ice." _Cubs? _"This one is always warm inside and that is thanks to Serana-ro."

Serana frowned. There was no way he didn't harbor resentment. He had to of, at least a little. "How are you actually okay with this, Ja'kal? This is a pretty big deal, you can't laugh or smile vampirism away. I didn't give you a choice. I ruined your _life._ I turned you into the very thing you were supposed to hunt."

Ja'kal's hearty laughter thundered and echoed, and she felt every vibration through her body, making her buzz with a plethora of... _Things._ He grabbed her shoulders, and curiosity struck him when he scrutinized his hands, squeezing her gently as if he was afraid to break her. After everything she survived, she was confident nothing could. "You are tall, but why are you so thin?"

"Why are you so wide?" Serana retorted with a smirk, and he laughed again. She was disheartened that he was jumping with questions instead of answers.

Ja'kal's laughter slowed to a stop, and then he just watched her with a smile. "You still have much to learn."

"Hey, you do too, you know." Pride huffed, her chest puffed. "And you fell _asleep_ instead."

"Yes, of course, Ja'kal does not deny it. But this one finds it amusing you think you ruined Ja'kal's life." He patted her shoulders, then rose and stretched his arms over head, yawning as joints popped. Her heart skipped and rammed at her chest when he leapt on the edge of the battlements, but showed no signs of losing his balance any time soon. His tail did not wail frantically like she knew she would with her arms if she attempted the same. Ja'kal beamed a smile as bright as the moons, holding out his arms as he turned to face the beach.

"Serana worries of turning this one into something Ja'kal was to hunt, yes?" His whiskers pulled in a smirk as he regarded her from the corner of his eyes. "Remember: this one was told he was useless because he could not hunt, and Ja'kal knew this very well. Ja'kal never hunts."

"Then why did you go to the Dawnguard? Joining a group of vampire _hunters_ doesn't make sense."

"Yes it does." No, she was pretty sure it didn't. "_Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz - when I contradict myself, I am telling the truth._"

Two and two were put together, but she still didn't understand the motive. "So you joined the Dawnguard anyways, because you wanted to... Contradict yourself?"

"No."

Yeah. So Serana's lost.

"Ja'kal thought he could find his brother that way. All cities have shut this one out. This one is close friends with all khajiit caravans, helped guard for coin and was taught how to speak Tamrielic." There was pride in there, and amusement twinkled in his features when she rose and bravely came to stand beside him, but still didn't dare climb up on the embrasure. "Many moons passed, for this khajiit needed the same lesson twice."

"I can see that happening," Serana teased, leaning on the battlements. She watched the waves crash below, closing her eyes as she listened to the gulls in the faint distance. She wondered how much _louder_ the world must have been to Ja'kal with his every sense amplified, and worried if he simply hid what overwhelmed him the same way he hid whenever he was afraid. Would his pride ever admit it?

Well, not like she was to talk when she also kept some thoughts and feelings closely guarded.

"And many moons passed where Dra'kul was not found. Khajiit caravans lost coin to buy information, and Ja'kal guarded to repay until he was released, told to never come back, to find a life of his own; but this one did not want a life of his own. Ja'kal wanted to find his brother. There was no life without Dra'kul."

"Why did you think the Dawnguard would?"

"This one did not think the Dawnguard would." There he went, contradicting himself again. He held out his hand to her. "Come, if you trust Ja'kal."

"What, up there?" Serana swore her heart skipped another beat when he nodded. She peered over the edge. Immortal or no, it would kill anything that fell from this height. She looked up nervously when the khajiit's tongue clicked off the roof of his mouth.

"Do not look down. Always look up. Wise words to live by. Come," he bounced his palm, "this one will not let you fall. Promise."

Serana still had her doubts, but hopefully she could transform into a bat quick enough before she'd crush every bone in her body. She grabbed his hand and placed one foot on the embrasure, twisting to feel for any loose grooves that might chip and slip under weight. She held her breath as she was tugged up and did her best not to look down, keeping her eyes on the khajiit's instead. His tail snaked around her waist and gently encouraged her to come closer to him, until she stepped up on the parapet he was on.

"You say you did not give me a choice, Serana. But you did. You gave _me_ life."

**x - x - x**

There was a lot to think about, to digest. Serana took her sweet time when she returned to the castle, warning Ja'kal to wait at least an hour before he came back as well. He seemed content enough to busy himself with catching more fish. His stomach was like a well with no bottom now, but at least she didn't have to worry about teaching him how to abstain from sating darker cravings, or to use the thralls if the hunger became unbearable. She never liked going anywhere near that area, where the thralls were treated worse than cattle. She hoped Ja'kal didn't explore that part of the castle.

Every step on solid ground pulled her mind back up to the battlements. She subconsciously touched her lips, smiling at the memory. When the fear passed, it was liberating, and now that she conquered it... She felt like she could take on anything in the world; and she couldn't wait where her and Ja'kal would go next. Maybe they could explore the parts of the castle she had wandered to as a child?

Serana entered the castle, and those good feelings were swept away in a tidal wave of despair when she heard her father's voice thunder in the court.

"Now it is time to see if those efforts have borne fruit. Go forth, and search the land for rumors of a Moth Priest within our borders. Look to the cities. Speak to innkeepers, carriage drivers, anyone who would meet a traveler. Go now, and carry out this task. This is my command!"

Garan's voice was the first to pierce her ears with an air of eagerness. "It will be done, my Lord!"

White noise whined in her skull, and she felt a rush of dizziness. She stumbled back outside, her mind racing with what her father's speech prophesied; the _prophecy. _Of course he didn't forget it. Of course he was still obsessed with it. Of course it didn't matter how much time passed; of course he never stopped and would never stop pursuing this.

Of course she was a fool for thinking things would have just gone back to the way they used to be.

Without thinking, she had rushed back to the boat. She only faintly heard her name being called in the distance and turned around; Ja'kal ran from the far end of the beach, waving his arms so he could be seen. She needed to tell him the truth. She needed to find this Moth Priest before any of the court's pawns could, and she needed to leave before Garan could sink his claws in her. Perhaps he was just playing both sides, manipulating; she couldn't take that chance, and she didn't have the luxury of time to determine if she really could trust him or not.

"Serana, wait! Do not leave Ja'kal!"

Ja'kal. She could trust him. She smiled when he caught up with her. His nervous gaze flicked to the boat before back to her, and she chuckled when he muttered. "Oh, no..."

"Oh, yes. I'm on a mission, Ja'kal, and I need your help to get back on the other side of the jetty."

"We swim, yes?"

"No, we'll get tired. Just because we're immortal doesn't mean we can't drown."

Ja'kal's tail drooped when he lumbered to the boat, his spirits hit a new devastating depression. "Drowning sounds better than rowing."

Serana laughed.

**x - x - x**

Daybreak threatened them, and Serana pulled her hood up. She took it upon herself to take the blindfold out of Ja'kal's pocket and reached up to tie around his eyes. He seemed joyous and entertained, smiling just from her reaching into his pocket. "Serana knows Ja'kal."

"Ja'kal knows Serana," she teased; it still sounded so odd to refer to herself that way. "Alright, first thing's first, we need to figure out where we're going to go."

"You do not know where your mission is? What if it is still in the castle?" The horror of which drenched his tongue drew a laugh from her.

"No, it's definitely not. We need to find a Moth Priest... But Skyrim's a pretty big place."

"Moth Priest," Ja'kal hummed, drifting in thought. He seemed to concentrate especially hard, and she could see the way his brow pinched beneath the blindfold. Did he even know what a Moth Priest was? She couldn't imagine it was one of the lessons in Tamrielic; hopefully it wasn't lost in translation, or... "Ah hah, this one knows what to do!" He clapped once, happily, and it startled her. His knapsack hit the ground.

Instinct raced ahead before she pieced the pieces together, and she rolled her eyes when Ja'kal knelt to untie the rolled hide from his knapsack. "We can't nap, Ja'kal."

"We cannot? Ja'kal has not lost the ability to."

"You know that's not what I mean," she sighed, chuckling when the stubborn khajiit still did his own damned thing. When his mouth opened, she shut him down. "Don't try to blame the boat. I'm not going to believe you anyways." He seemed stumped and she took off her own knapsack to rummage inside for the first book she touched. "We'll nap as long as it takes me to finish two chapters. Deal?"

"What if the chapters are very short?"

Serana smirked; she already knew she would have to work a little harder to outwit this sly khajiit, and she had a backup plan in place. "Fine, one book."

"And if the book is very short?"

"My shortest book isn't less than two hours."

Ja'kal hummed, and then nodded; he was very pleased with this turnout if his swinging tail was any indication. "Deal."

"Alright," Serana made herself comfortable on the nearest stump and took out a pocket watch. "I'm starting to read it now." She laughed at the speed of which Ja'kal rushed to set up the tent. It wouldn't help him. She was going to wake him up at exactly two hours and _one minute_ from now, regardless of how far she got in her book.

After all, how would he know if he was going to sleep?

* * *

_**Translation**_

_Urada - _sorry

_Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz - _when I contradict myself, I am telling the truth


	7. Skyrim Belongs to the Nords

_**Chapter 7: Skyrim Belongs to the Nords**_

* * *

"Serana?"

That didn't even take ten minutes. _Very_ strange. Serana looked up from the book she was actually mildly engrossed in, deciphering what all the tail signals meant for both khajiit and argonian alike. A thought nagged her to take longer than two hours, and she hoped whatever Ja'kal was about to ask was not going to trifle with her reading time. His tail was pressed to his leg again. She'd known what that meant thanks to the boat rides, and she rose from her stump in worry when instinct urged her to.

"Is everything alright, Ja'kal?"

Time hung in the air. Her brow knitted when the khajiit seemed to contemplate, tail end flicking nervously. He smiled, but then it fell with a sigh. "No. Ja'kal cannot sleep."

"...Oh." That was all? Her mind raced with worse, but perhaps not napping was considered the worst for someone who loved it dearly. "Did you want to keep moving then?"

"No." Ja'kal stepped out of the tent, blindly searching for her. He was careful in his movements and his hand hovered closer to her face for a moment, then dipped down, catching hers in a precise swoop. Had he already committed her dimensions to memory or something? "This one would like it very much if you read in the tent with Ja'kal."

"Oh." Was that all, seriously? Serana closed her book on her finger to keep tabs of where she had left off. "Sure, I can do that."

That brought a large and sincere smile to the khajiit's face, and she chuckled how something so small could influence his spirits so much. It was endearing, how he apparently regarded her, and that regard was quite high. Like Garan said, anyone with eyes could tell he was taken with her, and not even blindness would stop her from seeing this too.

It took loneliness to understand loneliness.

Ja'kal never let go of her as he led them back to the tent, happily taking his spot on the pelt. She smirked at the sight of an unrolled sleeping bag and took her seat, but she wouldn't let him off the hook so easily. "I don't recall saying I would take a nap too, you know."

"You will change your mind as soon as this khajiit snores, Ja'kal is sure of it."

Serana laughed. "That's some confidence." She looked down when something brushed her hip, and something inside of her did _things_ when she saw how strained his tail was just to reach over to touch her, though Ja'kal faced away. He scooted back a little just so that his tail rested on her stomach, and curiosity tingled at her fingers. She stroked it, retracting her hand when the tail tensed, then relaxed.

"Tonsh jer zira na, for helping this one sleep." His tail end flicked lazily and she chuckled as she laid on her back, brushing absentmindedly.

"You are very welcome." She was certain she benefited more here, sating her curiosity. It was like touching short and coarse fur like the hounds at the castle, back when CuSith and Garmr still had fur. She missed the lazy evening days she spent with them, lounging in bed as she read, each hound pressed to her sides. It brought happier memories, especially when the khajiit started to snore.

Ja'kal didn't just snore, but purred, and the sounds always made her cheeks ache with a smile. They were low and seemed to rumble deep in his chest, and she did her best to hold her book up in her face as she skimmed the book's index for any parts that may explain just how much khajiit and argonian tails could feel; but there wasn't anything.

With time, she would figure it out. She was just as sure of it as Ja'kal was; and she changed her mind, setting her book down to take a nap.

**x - x - x**

"Do oonpal," Ja'kal whispered as he gently shook Serana awake, unable to wait nor contain his excitement over this new tradition. He had pushed his blindfold up in time to catch a small smile before he closed his eyes just in case the ambient light would burn him, though stole as many peeks as he could to engrave to memory what Serana looked like as she stirred from her nap. His curious tail mapped her body as it patted from her knee to her hip, feeling how her muscles moved as she rolled from her side to her back.

"Good morning, Ja'kal," she hummed sleepily, and he beamed as he fluttered his tail against her in happiness, bringing back precious memories; it was just like trying to figure out all sorts of little ways he could communicate with Dra'kul, when sight nor hearing were on their side. He shook her again just for fun, and the skipping sounds of her laughter brought his spirits higher. He needed this, after the strange dream he had. "I know that _you_ know I'm awake; and I just said good morning."

"Yes, but Ja'kal still likes to hear you. Serana-ro makes the bad thoughts go away."

For some reason, she tensed under his hand, and he released her shoulder when he felt her start to sit up. The atmosphere suddenly changed and there was a metal taste lacing his tongue; he learned soon enough that it was the impending concern the kind human was about to show him.

"What sorts of bad thoughts?"

"This one does not want you to worry." He leaned back to rest on his haunches, frowning. "But Ja'kal has been having bad thoughts and dreams. It is why this khajiit could not sleep before you helped." The smell increased tenfold and even the slightest breath in had been like a punch in the nose. He blindly searched for her hands out of instinct. "Please, Serana. Ja'kal really does not want you to worry." He pulled her hands and tried to stand, ultimately standing without her when she remained rooted. "We go outside, yes? Smell fresh air, listen to birds?"

"Ja'kal... You need to know what it means to be a vampire, and I don't think it's sunken in for you yet." Serana's hands wrapped on his calves, and he listened carefully, wondering if she was standing as her hands came up to his arms. Her breaths brushed his whiskers. Fingers played with the hem of his robe's collar, sneaking under to press against a most sensitive spot on his neck. His skin tightened, then shivered, nails lightly scratching.

But why did she think the bad thoughts were because he was a vampire?

"This one likes this." He reached in hopes to do the same for Serana, but then remembered to mind his claws. His fur rippled and whatever spot she pressed on had suddenly stung. The khajiit reacted without thinking and went to slap his hand over the spot, though his wrist was caught, and words danced off Serana's tongue in the way he loved to hear.

"This one isn't going to like that," she teased, squeezing his wrist. "Not once this one impales himself. You really need to take care of those claws, Ja'kal."

There was something about her touch that was starting to drive him mad, but not upset. What he felt before had grown much stronger when the moons shifted again, just like the night he'd freed her from her tomb, and her scent commanded that shift. Mother told him and Dra'kul of this shift when they were cubs.

Ja'kal smelled another shift in the air as the silence between them stretched, and it tasted of _uncertainty._ He aimed to fix that. "The bad thoughts are not because you changed this one, Serana." He reached behind and untied his blindfold, resisting the other small hand that tried to stop him. "This one always had bad thoughts; about Dra'kul, about Ja'kal, about Skyrim and Elsweyr. You stop them." He beamed a grin and opened his eyes at the same time; he wanted to commit her expression to memory. She had a mixture of concern and confusion, and a hunger in her bright glowing eyes; a hunger he could relate to. He closed his eyes before the burn had the chance to settle in, and wished he could look at hers for longer.

Instinct guided him as he slowly opened up his arms and stepped forward, tasting that spike of uncertainty. He decided to wait, for he remembered all too painfully well how her scent _burned_ his nose, the time she said she was not comfortable being touched; try hard as he might, time and impatience were a terrible combination for him, and he hoped he had sounded as pleading as his heart felt.

"Ja'kal wants to thank you with a hug. Very few deserve hugs; even fewer get them. Serana-ro has gone deserving and without for too long. This one wants to fix that."

His heart soared when he felt her small hands rest against his chest, and his tail rose to convey his happiness over this simple action alone, but he still waited with his arms open; waiting was never his strong suit. Words fought to roll off the tip of his tongue:_ Ja'kal ari jer. _He didn't let them. She wasn't ready to hear them, not with how afraid she was of him, to hear those words. Did she have bad thoughts about herself too?

"Serana also has bad thoughts, yes? Does Ja'kal stop them?"

His arms were getting tired, and started to quiver. He struggled to keep them up, but renewed his effort when the hands on his chest slid up closer to play with his collar.

Then she withdrew with a sigh. "We should keep moving and try to reach Solitude before the sun sets. There's got to be someone there who's heard of our Moth Priest."

Sounds of her leaving _hurt,_ and his tail fell. She was a most difficult person to open up, and he felt like he was driving her further away every time he tried. Why were humans so disconnected from their emotions? It seemed like a lesson he was not going to get to learn any time soon, if the only one who could teach him was going to remain disconnected.

Ja'kal sucked in a deep breath and tried to think of pushing his sadness out of his lungs as he exhaled. He got to packing up the tent and started with Serana's bedroll, and curiosity sparked when he'd felt her book. His thumb stroked over the title and he prepared himself, stealing a quick peek before shutting his eyes. What he'd read filled his heart with the reminiscent warmth of Elsweyr's sands.

_The Telltale Tail._

It did not take any wisdom to know why such a book was in Serana-ro's hands; it reignited his hope and his passion for life. Here was a vampire the world shunned just like him, just because of their fangs; here was a woman with a heart of gold, and she had proven to be a fast friend, someone he wanted to share every story with, good or bad; but with her, the stories they made together were good.

"Do not look down. Always look up."

Wise words to live by; as long as he kept at it and kept his head up, he was confident he would find light even in the remotest corners of darkness.

After all, he found Serana.

**x - x - x**

Passion. She was terrified of it. It was all thanks to those blasted books; half of them were about khajiit rutting, of which she held her reservation with a few books instrumental in what they conveyed of the cat-folk's spirituality and their strong ties to Masser and Secunda...

But _still._

These emotions surely had to be the byproduct of the turning process itself. She had been warned it was intimate, and thought she was prepared the night she turned Ja'kal, but she was still caught off guard by the intensity of it all; worse yet, she had to process it all alone. She didn't have the heart to bring up the subject and ask Ja'kal what she meant to him, only to proceed to tell him that it was very likely a lie.

What did Ja'kal mean to her? The answers that swam in her mind were no lies. He had proven to be a fast friend, one she just _clicked_ with, understanding and being understood. Even she couldn't deny their chemistry, no matter how afraid she was of it.

Every step on this long and weary road brought with it far too much time for reflection. She just wanted to find the Moth Priest already and be done with these thoughts, to reset her priorities and focus her mind on what was truly a far more pressing issue; tyranny of the sun, and with it, guaranteed vampire extinction? Yeah. Everything else would just have to take a hike.

That didn't stop her from stealing a look or two. Or three. Or four. Maybe nine, or more.

Ja'kal was blind, it wasn't like he'd _know._

Cheerful hums filled the silence between them, and her cheeks ached from smiling, especially when he would playfully bump into her. She was torn in between wondering how he wasn't affected by the tension between them, to wondering how he could still keep trying to alleviate it. He really was one hell of a stubborn cat; but that was part of his charm.

"Ja'kal was taught a song by Kharjo once, a khajiit guard this one worked with; Ja'kal does not remember it all, but it is about khajiit that like to sneak, like this one."

"You, sneaking? I hadn't noticed," Serana teased dryly. Against her better judgment, curiosity took over. "How does the song go? What you remember, anyways."

Ja'kal grinned mischievously and he turned around, walking backwards, directly in front of her. He snapped his fingers, and his exotic accent flowed so much more smoothly when his voice lowered. She liked the sound; it was music itself, dancing with every word.

"Khajiit like to sneak. The rocks of Skyrim so bleak, the frozen boulders and peaks, we avoid... Stick to the cities replete, move with the quietest feet; make every fool on the streets... Paranoid. So lock your windows and pray, your jewels aren't stolen away; khajiit are coming to play with your things. Relieving you of your purse, throughout the guild it's dispersed; and while you crib and you curse, we will sing!"

Hm. Yeah. Serana was starting to see why some people might discriminate the khajiit just a little bit.

"Wait, no, Ja'kal got the order wrong." He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, testing the tune again. "Khajiit like to sneak, maneuvers silken and sleek... The darkest corners we seek?" He stopped walking and crossed his arms, looking up at the sky, even if he couldn't see it. Serana simply smiled as he hummed and ha'd in concentration.

His mischievous grin came back to life soon enough and he'd looked in Serana's direction. "Serana will guess what is Ja'kal's favorite line, yes?"

"Uh... Khajiit like to sneak?"

"No! Well, yes, that too. But: you know you can never outsmart a khajiit."

"...I'm pretty sure you never said that."

"Because you cannot outsmart a khajiit if khajiit does not say it."

Well, he had a point there.

But _still._

"I don't think it works that way," she chuckled.

Ja'kal shrugged. He seemed very pleased and proud to have drawn a laugh from her, and fell back into step beside her. She led them up to the city gate, and she bumped into the khajiit as a warning when both guards glared at Ja'kal. His grin never disappeared. He knew they had an audience, right? "Ever since this one has come to Skyrim, Ja'kal always hears 'Skyrim belongs to the Nords!' But what they do not yet know is that everything _in it_ belongs to the Khajiit."

Serana rolled her eyes when the guards glared at her next, crossing their arms. One made a move for his sword as a warning and she sighed. "And this is why they aren't going to let us into the city, Ja'kal." She tugged him by his arm back down the road before the guards had the sense to come after them, maybe even go a step too far and punish the khajiit for his loose tongue. Everything slowed to an abrupt halt when he rooted down and used every single muscle to stay put. She quirked her eyebrow at him. "Ja'kal?"

His grin was _still_ on his face. "Serana is a Nord, yes?"

"Yes," she said without thinking; a tragic mistake. She quickly put two and two together and had _zero_ issues leaving him behind, flustered when his laugh filled the air.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Khajiit like to sneak is an actual song on youtube made by 'miracleofsound'. Give it a listen. It's going to be stuck in your head just like it's stuck in mine lol. Thank you everyone for following along on this story and for taking time to review! We're slowly crawling out of the slow-burn stage and things should spice up as soon as the plot rolls along some more. See you in the next chapter._

**_Translation_**

_Tonsh jer zira na - _thank you very much

_Do oonpal - _good morning

_Ja'kal ari jer - _(not translated on purpose, left for future chapters)


	8. Surviving Hugs

_**Chapter 8: Surviving Hugs  
**_

* * *

"I hear water." Ja'kal's tail perked up, and like some sort of homing arrow, his ears searched for whatever direction this water was. Serana chuckled when the khajiit rushed ahead on the road; he always stayed near the treeline and marked them with his claws. His toes wormed into the dirt with the half of his face, that she saw, melting in relaxation. She hoped someday she could watch this curious khajiit as he marked and mapped a city.

They would probably be kicked out at first sight of his claws scratching posts.

Entertaining images rushed through the flood gates at that and Serana chuckled to herself, picking up her pace to catch up with the khajiit. "Well from what that carriage driver told me, a settlement called Dragon Bridge is that way, and there's probably a river running through there. Don't rush into the water without me so you don't get carried away by a waterfall."

Ja'kal stopped and turned, his ears turning until they seemed to fixate squarely on her footsteps. "Serana-ro needs to wash the tarmo and halku away, yes?"

"I'm not old and moldy anymore," she huffed and pretended she was offended, smiling when the khajiit's laughter roared in the air. She'd hoped he had the sense to restrain himself if he ever heard something or someone else that might not have had the best intentions with their safety. "Play nice, or I'll go from swimming with you, to watching the currents take you away." She smirked when the khajiit's mischief came out to play in the form of grins and dancing, an energetic bounce to his steps. She had never met someone so open and _free_ with their emotions; positive emotions, anyways.

"But Serana wants to swim with Ja'kal, yes?" He spun around and picked up the pace. "Come, this way! This one smells lots of fish!"

Of course he smelled fish. It was probably the number one scent he ferreted out any chance he got.

"How powerful _is_ your nose?" Serana muttered in disbelief, trying to get a sense of such a smell herself; and she was sure hers was far more powerful than the average vampire. She would have to delve in her books again to get a grasp of just how well in tune the beast races are with their senses, then try to amplify it in what she assumed what abilities vampirism granted the khajiit. At least she was positive no one would ever be able to sneak up on them, but she worried that he would be overwhelmed and have trouble discerning so much stimuli.

Afraid of losing him in his personal mission to search for fish, Serana broke out in a light jog to catch up. Part of her grumbled that the carefree khajiit was off doing his own thing yet again, losing sight of the mission he still had yet to ask about; but maybe these distractions were what she needed. It wasn't what vampires needed though. Their survival was on the line here, and knowing that a group like Dawnguard existed had already threatened that enough.

They didn't need to call on the wrath of an entire nation upon them.

"Hurry up, tarmo upoma! Catch Ja'kal if you can!"

Old something. Whatever it was, it was a tease, and it fired her up. He was going to regret turning this into a contest. Serana disappeared into the treeline the second Ja'kal did, determined not to lose sight. She smirked when his mirth gave him away, and she came in hot on his heels. The khajiit climbed up a tree and leapt from branch to branch, sometimes swinging by his tail. She laughed when he'd swung up and around, crashing into her from behind.

"Urada," he yelled all the way down when they were knocked to the ground; they twisted in time to land on their sides. Serana's head hit something soft instead, and she looked down; a robed arm and furry hand stuck out. Ja'kal groaned and his tail flopped over her hip, the end patting against her. "Urada, Serana... This one did not think that through."

"It's alright," she grunted as she rolled to face him, and soon learned the khajiit wasn't the only one who didn't think things through; she'd come face to face with him, and his nose moved and sniffed the way it did whenever he was curious. She'd stopped herself from bumping into him as she rested her hands on his chest, trying to ignore the thundering in hers. He turned his head slightly so that his whiskers brushed her nose, and then he pulled back with a grin.

"Ja'kal likes how close you are."

"But Serana doesn't like how close she is," she tried to fire lightheartedly, but her nerves made themselves clear when her voice trembled. She played with his collar, and her heart clawed up to her throat when he lifted his blindfold to his brows. She tried to push away, but the tail on her waist tightened.

"This one would still like to hug you, if you trust Ja'kal." He held out his free arm up in the air as his milky eyes bore into hers, and there was a glimmer of _something_ inside them. They didn't have anything in them before, and she covered his eyes with her hand before he harmed himself with the light. His grin grew, warm and _natural,_ soothing the nerves. "This one wants to see the face you make when you hug Ja'kal."

"How do you know I will?" She challenged his confidence, and smiled when the khajiit huffed proudly.

"Because Serana wants to hug, but is afraid. Ja'kal smells desire and fear." He scooted forward, but seemed to forget that her head rested on his arm. His hand slowly reached over her, and she eyed it warily. "You taught this khajiit that fear can be conquered by surviving it. It is just like standing on the tower."

"It's not the same," she whispered; she was torn apart by a war inside, one side saying this was _okay,_ the other side fighting and denying it. She didn't know what to listen to, and closed her eyes when Ja'kal's arm slung over her shoulder. He pulled her gently and ever so slowly, his chin nuzzling her temple. She chuckled at the strange and ticklish sensation of his fur against her forehead.

Silence fell, and she focused on breathing through this fear. But nothing happened; just fur brushing her skin, and the weight and warmth of his arm over her shoulder. She smiled when he stretched his neck forward, and his jaw conformed to the top of her head. His rhythmic breathing lulled the nerves to sleep.

"Not so scary anymore, yes? See? You have 'stepped in' and come close, and you are still alive." He fired softly, revised words she had told him when she helped him get in the boat for the first time. "We are in the..." _Boat._ "Hug." That only barely made sense because she knew what he was doing; and now she knew the extent of how sharp his memory was. "Everything is okay. You are surviving."

"Everything is okay. I am surviving," she chuckled quietly. His chest pushed against her hands with every rise and fall, wondering how he'd taken to his new _tarmo_ robes that even she could smell was _halki. _Her lips tugged in a subtle smirk, but she begun to feel awkward with every minute that passed by. She drummed her fingers. "We need to go, Ja'kal. The Moth Priest-"

"Can wait. What good is life if you do not enjoy it?"

"Is that the excuse you're going with?"

"Yes." Quick and easy, absolutely no hesitation. She laughed.

"You always hide with everything and everyone... But not when it comes to me, apparently."

"That is because _I_ do not want anyone but you to find _me._"

Serana bit her cheek.

She couldn't stop her smile.

**x - x - x**

With the sun so high, it was getting harder to ignore the nagging weakness that festered in her muscles. As she watched Ja'kal however, no such weakness seemed to make itself apparent as the stubborn khajiit rushed down to the mill, stripped down to his smalls in a flash and dove into the water.

"Waterfall be damned, apparently," she sighed. She reckoned it was him getting _hungry_ though. If this settlement relied on fish for food, well, they were about to say goodbye to it for the day. Serana shook her head and smirked, careful to keep her lips firmly pressed together as she approached one of the villagers who was chopping wood. "Excuse me, sorry to bother you. Have you seen a Moth Priest lately?"

"Seen what now?" The man grunted in mid-swing, the chips of wood flying as he nailed the log perfectly in the middle. Serana absentmindedly touched her neck and smiled a little nervously when he turned to her. He wiped his forehead with his tunic and gulped for air. "Sorry, lass, you'll have to say that again."

"A Moth Priest, have you seen one?"

"Might have, we get a lot of travelers through here. What do they usually look like?"

That was a good question. Serana wasn't sure herself, and 'they look smart' probably wouldn't quite be a suitable explanation. She shrugged. "He would've had some sort of entourage with him. Bodyguards, maybe other scholars, that sort of thing."

"Oh, yeah. There was a wagon passing through, some Imperial soldiers following an old man in robes." He rubbed his stubble in thought. "That wasn't too long ago." He pointed ahead, "they went through the village, you could probably still catch up to them before they get to the fork in the road past the bridge."

"Great, thanks for your help." She fished in her pocket for septims and handed a paltry amount to the lumberjack, then turned heel and ran down before he got a good look at her eyes or got suspicious as to why she was asking.

She needed to find Ja'kal and fish _him_ out of the water now.

When she reached the mill, she noticed a crowd growing and saw people clapping. Curiosity pulled her closer, and her eyes widened at the small pile of fish that grew on the shoreline. She jogged down and pushed past until she was on the edge where the khajiit, happy as could be, had a fish everywhere he could grab. He'd even curled his tail around one, though it slipped through and earned _aw's_ from the crowd.

Ja'kal's head lifted and she saw the furious movement of his nose, then he grinned with the fish in his mouth; thank hell his fangs could be amounted to the anatomy of the khajiit. "Serana, look! Ja'kal catch enough for the whole village, let us have a feast today!" He leapt on rocks that just barely broke the surface of the water and made his way back to shore to drop off his catch, chest heaving as he gulped for air. His patchy fur of blondes and browns glistened as the sun dried him, and if he felt any weakness, he did a damn good job not showing it with how energetic he was.

Probably because he was so proud and happy of his haul.

"We'll have to come back after," Serana said, and chuckled when his ears and tail drooped immediately. "Take what you need right now to eat." She minded her words so that nobody in this crowd caught wind of what they were or what they were passing through for, and took Ja'kal by the wrist to pull him to his pile of clothes. She didn't get away in time when he shook the water out of his fur, and she laughed with the crowd; she didn't mind, not when it felt _amazing_ in this heat. "You did that on purpose this time."

"Urada... Not." Ja'kal smirked and looked at her, though had to keep his eyes closed. She let go and unfolded his robes to get his blindfold, then tied it around his eyes.

Her heart skipped and raced when he rested a hand on her hip.

"You smell like fish now," she teased as her excuse to draw away, turning when he'd reached to wring out his loin cloth. There were gasps and mothers shooing children to look away. Serana ignored the heat that beat in her chest. She didn't have it in her to teach Ja'kal right in this moment that what he was doing was just _slightly_ inappropriate, but how could a blind man be blamed for not seeing what others could see?

Serana glanced over when she caught him donning his trousers in the corner of her eye. She chilled her hands and combed it through his fur, roving over his shoulders and chest. She smirked and rolled her eyes when he'd shivered violently. "You feel the sun worse than this," she whispered as quietly as possible, having faith that he'd hear her loud and clear. "You just swam in ice-cold water."

"Ja'kal is not shivering because of the cold," he husked, and both his hands came upon her hips. "This one is going to hug you."

"What? Wait, no!" Serana didn't even have a second of a chance to respond and yelped as wet fur enveloped her in a crushing hug, soaking through her cloak. She laughed and pushed against him, hands slipping because of his damp chest, and it kicked against her as Ja'kal's rowdy mirth shook through her.

Then her mind pieced the puzzle together as to why _else_ the khajiit could have been shivering.

And Serana ran away.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Do let me know if you ever find another khajiit story, as I too would love to indulge in some reading that doesn't involve in immediate editing thereafter ;p! Thank you all again for your overwhelming support, I appreciate it very much! See you in the next chapter :)_

**_Translation_**

_Tarmo - _old

_Halku - _mold

_Halki -_ moldy

_Upoma -_ bones (meaning he teased Serana as 'old bones')

_Urada - _sorry


	9. Evil Vegetables & Fatal Reunions

_**Chapter 9: Evil Vegetables & Fatal Reunions**_

* * *

"Ja'kal, what are you doing?" Why was he squatting?

"Khajiit like to sneak."

Oh, hell. Not this again.

"Ja'kal, no."

"Maneuvers silken and sleek."

"I'm leaving you."

"The darkest corners we... Dras, wait!" Ja'kal's laughter shook her from afar. "Urada, Serana!"

He clearly enjoyed how that rhymed; and he wasn't the only one. She had a lurking suspicion that he was doing things just to say 'sorry' on purpose.

_But._

"You don't even sound sorry anymore." Serana smirked as she kept up her pace and strode as quickly as she could, stealing glances over her shoulder just to make sure that she wasn't _actually_ leaving Ja'kal behind; but he seemed alarmed. His ears flattened against his hood, and his tail bristled, thrashing between a mixture of fear and caution. At least that's what the book taught her about such tail signals. She went back to him, watching his nose feverishly sniffing the air. "Is there someone coming after us?" She smirked a little. "You can tell the difference between an elk and person now, right?"

"Yes," he growled, but it didn't seemed to be aimed at her. He approached her quickly and grabbed her wrist, pulling her aside until they were waist deep in high grass. "Hide, quickly now." He tugged her down and curled protectively behind her, his hand slipping in front of her mouth as he murmured. "Something foul is coming our way, and..." He sniffed the air again. "We were going to something foul."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Serana muffled in his palm, twisting to get a good look at him.

"Something else; something burning." He hunched lower as his ears flattened backwards, and she reached to grab and control his tail before it whipped in the grass and gave their position away. She tried to peer through the slivers of the grass and picked up the sounds of hooves pounding the cobbled stone road.

Something foul was definitely coming their way; she'd grimaced and bit back a gag, reaching over her shoulder to slap her hand over Ja'kal's mouth when he'd coughed. "Garlic," she warned, taking this moment to teach a lesson before Ja'kal had a chance to fall asleep on her. "One of the weaknesses vampires have."

"A _vegetable?_" The way he sounded so offended nearly made her forget where they were; she pressed his hand harder against her mouth to suppress her laughter.

Ja'kal's gagging got worse, and she empathized with the khajiit; he tasted and smelled this twice, maybe even thrice as bad. Desperate for ideas, Serana ripped a handful of grass and turned to stuff it in his mouth, mindful of his razor sharp fangs; they were worse than his claws for sure. "Eat this, maybe it will help you."

"The smell," he whined and tugged on her to turn and face him. "Ja'kal buries his nose in you, yes?"

"W-what?" She stumbled and fell on her haunches, taken down as the khajiit tackled her to the ground and burrowed against her neck before the hooves grew deafening. Her hood and cloak got in the way of sensation, but she was still crippled by memories as weight settled on top of her body. She just barely heard the hissing of Ja'kal inhaling so strongly, it sucked her hood to his nose, but every part of her screamed inside and drowned him out.

Blood rushed to her ears and all she could hear was her own heartbeat roaring as if it was inside her skull. Something wet dripped over her nails and she heard him grunt; she glanced down and saw that she had clung so tightly that she'd pierced his robes, sinking into his ribs until blood stained his fur. As the ground shook, it shook her out of her head and reminded her where she truly was. She turned and whispered against his jawbone. "Hold on, don't make any sounds. They'll be gone soon."

Ja'kal whined pitifully, his body trembling against her. He'd tried to dig and worm his nose _into_ her shoulder, it seemed, and she winced at the aching pain from the pressure. She withdrew her nails from his ribs and silently thanked him for not impaling her with his. She tried to look up and see what had rode by on the road, but the grass blocked her view; she could only hope it did the same to whomever carried that much wretched garlic.

No farmer, that was for sure. There would be a wagon to accompany the horses, and it sounded like there were more than one. The smell faded as quickly as it came, but it still lingered and _burned_ inside her nose. Her head fell to the ground with a heavy thud, and she sighed with relief. "They're gone."

"We are still alive," he murmured, "everything is okay. We are surviving."

To Oblivion with garlic. What a dramatic and horrific ordeal just because of a _vegetable, _or herb, or spice; whatever it was, she was just as offended as Ja'kal now.

"We're surviving," she chuckled, and gave him a slight push when his weight dropped even more on her. "Uh... This is the part where you get off of me?"

"But Ja'kal still smells the garlic," he whimpered, but there was just the subtlest purr rumbling deep in his chest as he nuzzled her.

"Is that the excuse you're going with this time?"

"Yes."

Serana bit her cheek.

She _still_ couldn't stop her smile.

**x - x - x**

"Oh, no..." Serana surveyed the wreckage and wrinkled her nose in disgust; she didn't blame the khajiit for staying a safe distance away with the putrid smell of both burning and decomposing flesh irradiating the site. She used the end of her cloak to cover her mouth and protect her from the thick smoke pouring from the burning wagon, searching the bodies for clues as she started with the one who bore a most familiar uniform and face: another Volkihar vampire.

Mottled flesh steamed and slowly eroded under the heat of the sun. She almost gagged at the stench as she popped open the buttons of the vest and quickly took the piece of paper she saw hidden inside a pocket, unfolding to read it.

_I have new orders for you. __Prepare an ambush just south of Dragon Bridge. Take the Moth Priest to Forebears' Holdout for safekeeping until I can break his will.  
__-Malkus_

"Where is that?" It wasn't a location she was familiar with; and that was the biggest problem she kept running into. She didn't learn Skyrim fast enough to keep up with it as it still changed before her eyes. She stuffed the paper in her pocket and jogged back to where the khajiit last was, before he'd cloaked himself and took refuge under the shade of a tree. "Ja'kal, are you here?"

Silence answered her.

"Ja'kal?" Serana turned, scanning for other trees he could've hidden under, or _in._ She came up to the trunk and looked above to see if there were any branches that appeared weighed down. "Ja'kal, where are you?"

Nothing.

Panic crept in. Her throat tightened and she kept telling herself to remain calm; of all blasted times to lose the khajiit, and he was _invisible._ His nose, like hers, needed to recuperate after the decimation of the evil garlic, so it wasn't like he could safely navigate back to her if he'd lost her scent. She ran the risk of alerting potential predators if she yelled at the top of her lungs, but there was no other choice. She took in a deep breath and braced herself for trouble; not that she couldn't handle herself anyways, but why do it at all in the first place? A faint memory pulsed behind her eyes of a lazy khajiit waking up from his nap.

_'Why antagonize when Ja'kal can avoid?'_

Something swished behind her. She reacted immediately and spun around with sparks charged in her palm, a surprised yelp tearing from her throat when she was pushed to the tree. Ja'kal revealed himself in time before she fired at him, and his playful grin took up her entire view of the world. His tail whipped happily behind his head. "Be not afraid... Stick to the shade. Khajiit like to sneak."

Relief chased after the burst of anger. She _should_ have been aggravated that he _still_ wasn't taking the mission _that he still never asked about_ seriously, but an entirely different scold tumbled out of her mouth. "Don't do that to me again! You really had me worried, you know, and I almost hurt you."

Ja'kal's grin disappeared and his ears quirked up, sniffing the way he did to sate curiosity. His tail flicked lazily and curled around his thigh, patting hers. A warm charming smile graced his face. "This one likes it when Serana is worried about Ja'kal."

"Well _this one_ doesn't like it when Serana is worried at all," she huffed, but her blow lost it's bite when she couldn't help but smile in reaction to his; his cheer always had a way of lifting her spirits, even when it _really_ wasn't the time to be cheerful. He literally had a bunch of pungent corpses rotting behind him; not the most romantic setting.

_Romantic?_

"This one still likes that Serana-ro is opening up instead of running away. Feelings are good. They are meant to be felt, yes? Or we would not feel them."

"I..." Serana's mouth hung open, but nothing came out. She struggled to find the words, the feelings; to single out one out of many. The entire time, her mind was dead set on it's priorities and it forced it's way out of her mouth. "This isn't the time, Ja'kal. We have to find that Moth Priest."

...Nothing.

Something about the atmosphere changed and weighed her heart down, but his tail didn't droop, nor did his ears flatten. He nodded and pushed away from her, and his smile seemed out of place, though looked the same. There was a different emotion hiding behind it, and it softened the punch as the honest khajiit sniffed her out by firing her words back at her.

"Is that the excuse you are going with?" A pause, and his smile dipped in sorrow as he sung. "You know you can never outsmart a khajiit."

"This isn't about outsmarting you," she blurted, ducking under his arms. "We have to find that Moth Priest," she insisted, as if it would make it sound less like the excuse they both knew it was, and turn it into the legitimate reason they both knew it kind of wasn't. She listened to her instincts; the ones that focused on the Moth Priest, anyways, and ignored the ones that focused on Ja'kal.

He was making it harder every day.

**x - x - x**

"This smell!" Ja'kal hissed excitedly the moment he followed after her into a cave, and she rolled her eyes when she heard the rushing water echo further inside.

"Ja'kal, **no.** No fish. Stay focused."

What was she saying? This carefree cat did whatever he well pleased.

"Ja'kal is focused!" He bumped into her in his rush to move forward, and she'd missed grabbing his wrist. She could pick up various smells herself; ones that _burned_ like garlic. Whoever was in here with the Moth Priest were definitely not on their side; and she could only think of one group that would do this intentionally.

The Dawnguard.

"Ja'kal, get back here," she snuck after him as quickly as she could, but there was no catching the nimble khajiit as soon as he had hopped down a small cliff. She gritted her teeth when she saw heavily armored soldiers patrolling alongside dogs, and in the far distance, an old man in robes. "That has to be the Moth Priest..." She peered over the cliff and sighed when she saw the khajiit leap into the water with his clothes on.

There were going to be _words_ after this; many, many moons with many, many lessons. She had resigned to the fact that he probably wasn't going to help her fight, and at least it was one worry she could push to the back of her mind that he would be safe, so long as he stayed in the shadows.

Serana cautiously crept forward, knowing her biggest hurdle would be the dogs...

And the garlic.

Pride stoked by the evil _vegetable,_ she pressed on and smothered her mouth with her cloak to dull the searing heat turning whatever inhabited her nostrils into ash. The path of least resistance was also the path of _most_ resistance: the one Ja'kal took. She followed his lead and went down to the water, peering inside to catch glimpse of him.

Nothing.

"Ja'kal?" Serana whispered as quietly as she could, noting the way one of the dogs' heads snapped in her direction. She darted off to the far wall and crossed the creek by leaping on rocks, then wet the end of her cloak and pressed it to her nose as she melded back into the safety of the shadows. She kept her eyes on the water the whole time as she snuck to the wall; but the khajiit never resurfaced.

So much for the worry being pushed to the back of her mind.

They was going to be many, many, _many_ lessons after this. He was not going to get out of here without any consequences, even if they survived the consequences of infiltrating this fortification. She watched the patrols and noted which to take down first, and where she could hide immediately thereafter.

Dagger unsheathed, she moved for her first kill and summoned sparks in her free hand, to take care of the dogs that would be the first to investigate their master's death. It pained her greatly; she loved hounds, and would rather comb her fingers through their thick fur instead.

"Serana, up here!" Ja'kal whispered from above, and she looked up in disbelief. He had already scaled the stone wall and laid down, extending his hand. "Jump, Ja'kal will catch you. This one has great news. Come, Ja'kal will show you."

Great news? They were in enemy territory that was infested with evil vegetables!

Wary, Serana sheathed her dagger and extinguished the sparks. She took a running leap and tried to propel herself even higher as she jumped off the wall, catching Ja'kal's hand. She braced herself and swallowed her grunt when she came crashing back against the wall, grateful that he'd caught her wrist with his free hand and pulled her up. His fangs glinted in the darkness, and he pulled them towards the shadows before the other guards were alerted.

"What do you have to show me, Ja'kal? I only see-"

"Stay here and watch." Ja'kal was in remarkably high spirits, and he never cloaked himself as he snuck down the battlements without her. Her heart clawed up to her throat when she saw another soldier on the next level aim a crossbow at him. His name died in her mouth when there was no hesitation, and the bolt flew. He leaped forward and tackled a guard to the ground, laughing cheerfully as if his life wasn't in _fucking danger._ He was blind, dammit, what the hell was he thinking?!

And then her heart dropped to her stomach as he shouted loudly, echoing in the cave.

"Dra'kul, it is your brother, Ja'kal!"

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Thank you Demon420, I found the story! It's going to be awesome delving into a good read again, and when I skipped forward to the last chapters to leave a review, I found out __TheKhajiitWarrior also suffers from the glitches of typing on the mobile app lol. BIG thanks as always to all followers and reviewers, I'm glad you're enjoying the story and your support means the world to me. I did not think my interpretation would garner this kind of reception! See you in the next chapter :)  
_

**_Translation_**

_Dras - _(casual) hey/hi, howdy, yo

_Urada - _sorry


	10. Make the Good Thoughts Louder

_**Chapter 10: Make the Good Thoughts Louder**_

* * *

Hot air burned her lungs with every breath she took. She stayed focused on the task and leaned to the side, reaching as far as she could to dip her fingers in a small creek and wet Ja'kal's lips. He still looked so happy... Probably dreaming of fish, or something. She smiled, but it fell when her eyes roved over his bloodstained bandages. It was understandable, how he could be so careless, and it baffled her at the same time.

Serana looked around, scanning the forest for any man or beast that might be preying on them. Her nose couldn't pick up anything; but she was certain she wouldn't smell anything but garlic and blood for hours to come. She resigned to the fact that it would be some time yet before the khajiit opened his eyes, for the sun robbed vitality, and she herself was so, _so_ tired for carrying him all this way. She adjusted his good arm out to the side and helped herself to it as a pillow.

"Ja'kal likes this."

Serana shot up with a yelp, staring down wide-eyed at the khajiit, who hadn't stirred or smiled. Was she going mad? Heat stroke? She slowly crawled back down and watched him _very_ closely, narrowing her eyes as she hovered her head over his bicep. As soon as she landed, the khajiit's lips moved.

"Ja'kal likes this _very_ much."

"How long were you awake?" She came down stern as she whipped back up into sitting, and grabbed his shoulders when the khajiit still didn't move or smile. "You're about to regret it if you don't answer me. Last chance."

Nothing.

She gave a slight shake and smirked when he groaned in pain. "I warned you, Ja'kal."

"Urada..." The way he whined that so pitifully shouldn't have merited her laugh, but she couldn't help it. She reached in the creek to wet her fingers for his lips again, and melted with relief when his tongue poked out to lick around his mouth. He tried to move and she rested her hands on his chest to keep him down. "Where are we, and why is Ja'kal so sore?"

"We're safe; hiding in a forest. As for why you're sore, well..." There was a difficult answer to that, and she didn't know how to approach it. She chewed on the inside of her lip and sighed. "What do you remember?"

Silence, for a moment. Then a series of joints popping when Serana was too slow to keep the khajiit down. "Dra'kul!" He tried to move, but she gently pushed him back down by his shoulders; the force of which she applied was laughable, and it worried her greatly that he was this weak and frail to be overcome so easily. She never wanted to remember him as this frail ever again. He needed his voracious life to return to him as soon as possible.

"Take it easy, Ja'kal, or you'll reopen your wounds." She nibbled on her tongue and clicked it off the roof of her mouth when one of the bandages seemed to loosen on his other arm, and she leaned over his torso to fix it. "Didn't have much on hand, had to improvise and use your clothes. Hope you don't mind."

There was a notable pause in the air, even amidst ragged breaths. She quirked her eyebrow when she looked over and saw a mischievous smile. Ja'kal's brows bounced beneath the blindfold. "Did you use Ja'kal's pants first?"

Heat flushed at her throat first, and slowly crept up to her face. Her mouth hung in disbelief; she tightened her jaw with a huff. "No. They're all you have left, and they'll be all you're _going_ to have if you tease me. Then you'll suffer in the heat of the sun." She looked up and tried to gauge the light that slipped through the slivers of the trees, sighing. "It's taking it's sweet time setting. You'll heal much faster after it does though, so just hang on a little bit longer."

"This one still likes it when Serana is worried about Ja'kal."

"You're relentless," Serana chuckled, marveling at how he could still seem so cheerful despite how much pain he must be in. Those bolts were tipped with silver, it had even nipped her fingers when she pulled them out by the shaft; she absentmindedly rubbed the side of her calf, where she had a near miss herself. She froze when his hand came up to her cheek, awkwardly hitting her mouth at first. It fell to her shoulder and trailed down until he found her hand and squeezed.

"Tonsh jer zira na, Serana." Another pause. "Did you kiss my wounds?"

"W-what?" She barked out a laugh, then stared at him in disbelief again when his mischievous smile was nowhere to be found. He was serious.

"Mother taught this one as a cub that wounds heal faster if you kiss them."

There was no way that was true. That had to have been just to comfort a child; or was it khajiit 'medicine'?

"I'm not kissing your whole body," she blurted, and she was paralyzed just by the simple gesture of him tapping his lips. She slapped her hand over his mouth instead when he grinned, stopping him from saying anything more. "How is this what you're focused on?" He seriously needed to get his priorities straight, if he ever even _had_ any priorities. "Don't you want to talk about what happened in there? About your brother? About _anything_ besides..." Flirting. "This?"

"No," came the easy muffle, and she could feel his teeth against her palm as he smiled wider. "Ja'kal wants to talk only about this."

There was no way that was true. She felt him grow rigid over 'brother'. He was just doing his damn... Khajiit... Thing... Whatever he was doing.

How was this his most pressing concern right now?!

"Haven't you been searching for Dra'kul forever? Lost all your coin, and hope, and time, and..." His hand came up to her cheek again, and she swore her heart was going to take up permanent residence in her throat soon. "Why in the world is this...?"

"Ja'kal does not remember what happened in there after Dra'kul, but this one is here with you now. Not Dra'kul. That says everything." He swiped his fingers across her lips exactly the way she had when she wet his, his furry thumb a strange sensation against her skin. His grin fell with his spirits as the stall could only keep up for so long, and he tried to sit up. She panicked and kept him down by his shoulders, and broke when his voice did. "Let the wounds hurt more, Serana, _please._"

"I know it hurts," she chewed her lip as memories constricted her throat, but she croaked it out by a miracle. "I understand; I've been through it too, and I'm here for you." She wished this agony in her chest would go away, and that she could just _breathe_ again. The reckless khajiit still kept trying to move despite it all, and she straddled his hips, careful not to antagonize the bandages on his thighs, as she hunched over and drew him in a hug as best as she could.

Never before had she loathed herself more than today, when he broke down crying and whined pitifully against her shoulder.

She _had_ ruined his life.

**x - x - x**

"Alright boys," Commander Vanik announced, "we need to make sure we get Dexion back to the fortress first. He'll be safest there; and we need to get away before those vampires get reinforcements." He looked around and caught Dra'kul's eyes, muttering as he raked a hand through his receding hair. "That bitch took out half of us in the blink of an eye, I'm glad you're okay. Guess I got lucky nailing that friend of hers. Did he scratch you, do you need a potion?"

Dra'kul shook his head. The world was already nigh-muted, and now that it _spun,_ it was hard to hear anything beyond the ringing in his ears. He fought to keep quiet and kept looking over his shoulder as their unit traveled back to Fort Dawnguard. This wasn't how he was supposed to find Ja'kal. He had nearly suffocated with hope when Isran mentioned sending off a blind khajiit with a veteran Vigilant; and now he nearly suffocated with despair after he saw for himself that the vampires had already sunken their fangs in Ja'kal.

That _thing_ that pounced on him was not his brother. Death would have been better; why had the vampires robbed him of even that mercy? Have they not suffered enough? Have they been cursed by the moons?

Dra'kul glanced at the others; the survivors of their unit, after the slaughter. That was the first time he had seen what a vampire was truly capable of, and why ambushing those creatures were the only real advantage the Dawnguard had. But why had the other vampire spared him? He aimed his crossbow at her and had even grazed her leg. He was closest to Ja'kal; in blood and spirit, once.

Now they shared neither.

How much cruelty did Dra'kul have to suffer before the gods were satisfied they had broken his spirit? It hurt more than anything to see that _thing_ wearing his brother's face and grin. At least Dra'kul was spared the glowing eyes, and he kept telling himself that his 'brother's' lackluster fur now reflected his state.

His 'state'.

He was not dead. He was undead. The gods wouldn't even let Ja'kal die and return to the sands of Elsweyr, robbing him of their warmth instead. What had Ja'kal done to be inflicted with such wretched punishment? He always looked out for everyone but himself, and a compassionate soul should be met with compassion, no? Where was S'rendarr? What Ja'kal suffered was no act of compassion, or charity, or justice. Now the responsibility fell on big brother's shoulders, as it always did.

Mor kha'jay... As much as it pained Dra'kul, he knew what he needed to do, and he gripped his crossbow with renewed resolve.

He would bring Ja'kal's soul back _home._

**x - x - x**

Ja'kal tried not to rub his thigh so he wouldn't open his wound, but it was so _itchy. _Whenever his claws got too close, Serana cleared her throat, lifting her eyes from the book she read with a small smile. He groaned and turned on his pelt. "Ja'kal cannot nap. It is like ma'jota are biting everywhere."

"Ma'jota?"

Ja'kal hummed.

"No, I meant: what does that mean?"

"This one is thinking. Ja'kal forgot what it is in Tamrielic." He rolled to face her, trying to show what he meant as he made a circle, touching his index and thumb together. "Small, round. Sometimes they fly, sometimes they are hiding in the dirt. This one heard Sakhliit eat them as a delicacy." He stuck out his tongue and gagged at the thought. There was nothing in ma'jota; fish was tasty _and_ nutritious, and great for his fur. He needed to eat more to get his shine back if he wanted to impress Serana.

"...Sakhliit?"

They both stared at each other. Ja'kal forgot what he said, preferring to study her every expression. He was beginning to love the night more than the day just for this. He smiled sheepishly when she chuckled. "I can tell we're going to get nowhere with this. Bottom line is: **don't. Scratch. **We don't have anything left to bind your wounds." She glanced over at her knapsack, and she shook her head with a frustrated sigh. "I should've at least packed my mortar and pestle; I would've been helpful, for once."

"You have helped Ja'kal a lot."

"Yeah, more than you wanted. It's okay to be mad at me, you know. I'd understand." The bitterness did poorly to accentuate what he saw in her. He aimed to fix that.

"Serana still has bad thoughts of herself, yes? Ja'kal will stop them this time." He minded how much weight he put through as he crawled on hands and knees, taking the book away from Serana before she could use it as an excuse to hide from him. That was fine. She would change her mind in time, of this he was confident; but he would not let her hurt herself any longer. "We are hurting enough, no? We should not hurt ourselves some more."

"Ja'kal-"

"You make the good thoughts louder. This one will show you how." He slipped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled before she could protest, resting their foreheads together. His snout couldn't conform to her curved nose, and he angled his head just so that they had full contact. Her breath hitched, and the slight shudder in her breathing was enough to drive him mad, but not upset; it begun to be maddening, though.

Everything about her had. It was getting harder and harder to contain how he felt for her, but he knew she would run away just as he had whenever he was scared. Her fear burned his nose, but he nuzzled closer. "_I_ will not do anything to you, Serana. The first move is yours to make when you feel ready to be arika." He pulled back to look in her eyes and smiled at the confusion that finally accentuated her features; this was much more like it. "But your first move before _our_ first move is to love yourself. You cannot love without loving yourself; but know you are _arika._"

Tenderly, he pulled until her wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He could smell that fear spike and pushed past the pain that seared through his nose; it wasn't anything new anymore, and there was an evil _vegetable_ he was apparently weak to that was far worse than this scent. He tasted a faint hint of salt, though saw nothing except sheen eyes that fought to hide and _disconnect._

That just wouldn't do.

"Ja'kal will always be here, Serana, no matter what happens." He pulled back and grinned as bright and large as he could, squeezing her shoulders firmly. The words that poured from his soul came out in a passionate laugh, and he was proud it had lifted her spirits enough for a smile to peek through the cloak she hid her heart in. "Ja'kal ari jer!"

Serana stared, confused and curious and stunned and _stunning._ And then her _serush _smile shone through when she tested the words on her tongue. "Serana ari jer."

Oh, and to hear them made him _soar._

He couldn't wait for the day she found out what she was saying.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Yes, I wish I could type longer chapters as I used to, but I'm stuck on the mobile app and don't know how long it actually looks like. I just stop when my fingers are on fire lol. Hope I'm typing fast enough to make up for it though. Keep an eye out for another chapter today, working on it now! See you later today ;p  
_

**_Translation_**

_Urada - _sorry

_Mor kha'jay - _dark moons (general curse)

_Ma'jota - _bugs/insects

_Sakhliit - _argonians

_Arika - _loved

_Serush - _beautiful

_Ari jer - _the only hint I will give is that _ari_ and _arika_ are terribly similar, don't you think ;)?


	11. Enjoy Life

_**Chapter 11: Enjoy Life**_

* * *

Midnight blue consumed his world; for once, Ja'kal was too tired to explore. He grunted with nearly every movement, and if he wasn't achy or stinging, then he was still _itchy. _He rolled his trousers to his knees and worked his way into a small creek; a cold soak was sure to feel better than this burning inside of him, to quell this hunger in his soul. He wished it were for fish rather than a human.

More specifically: a _vampire._

"How did you do this before?" Serana grunted in frustration when her hands came up empty. She was calf-deep in the stream and her eyes darted about, groaning whenever she hunched forward and tried to catch a fish. It looked like she was slapping the water instead. When Ja'kal splashed at the edge, her head whipped up and worry reflected in her eyes instead of water. "You need to rest, your wounds..."

"Ja'kal is going to starve at this rate," he teased with a quirky smile, hoping that injecting a little bit of levity would be enough to ruffle her slumped spirits awake. Something weighed down on her mind, and whatever it was, it tormented her greatly. If she wasn't going to lay her burden on him, he was going to lift the burden off her.

"I'll get one eventually," she huffed; she pushed her hair behind her ears as she looked back down, fingers wiggling in anticipation. Did she not know that fish watched her as much as she watched them? It was a comical sight, but instinct warned him to keep his laughter to himself. He approached her regardless of her narrowing eyes and wrinkling nose; _so_ scary...

"You must stop thinking about the fish, and start thinking about the water." He moved behind her, his tail gliding just above the grotesque cut lacerating the side of her calf. It was his fault both of them had any wounds at all, and yet for some reason guilt tortured her when the blame was rightfully his.

It was something he hoped he could help her stray away from in time, as he had himself.

"The water?" She quirked an eyebrow as she twisted to look over her shoulder at him. "What do you mean?"

"Tune to the flow of the water. Close your eyes." It was a huge leap forward that she did not smell of fear with how close he was, and when her eyes slipped shut, he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. She stiffened and the stench stained the air, but she didn't pull away. "Good. Now ignore Ja'kal. Ignore the birds, ignore everything around you. Listen to the water. Wiggle your toes, feel the rocks and muck."

"How is this going to help me catch fish?"

"Ja'kal will tell you what mother told him: _patience._"

"I can't see you being patient at all," she teased dryly. Her body melted to his bit by bit, and she straightened, brushing her hair over her ears again. He loved watching the drops of water roll down her pale skin, sleeves rolled up and ready to go; she wasn't afraid to work.

Neither of them were meant for a kingdom nor a castle.

"Listen to the water," he reminded, squeezing her waist. "Do not think about why Serana cannot catch the fish, or the Moth." She tensed at that, and he wondered if the priest was what truly weighed her down so. He tilted his head to get a better look at her face, though could only see the side. "Do not think about how hungry Ja'kal is, and ignore his stomach." A subtle smirk tugged the corner of her mouth, and he tried to contain his pride; his day was made the moment he made her smile. "Do not think about the birds, or the ma'jota."

"...Insects?"

"Ah! Yes, that is the word." He pinched her playfully. "Now what are you supposed to be listening to?"

"You're talking _right _in my ear, Ja'kal."

"You should not be listening to me."

"Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz," she countered, and it drew a hearty laugh from him. It was his turn to stiffen when she reached up and over her shoulder, wrapping her arm behind his neck. Her head turned ever so slightly and there was a _challenge_ in her eyes; who that challenge was for, he was confident he'd find out in time.

"Listen to the water," he urged, slipping a hand over her eyes. "Let every thought swim away with it. Listen to it babble, and burble, and patter, and murmur. _Breathe_ with it, from your toes to your nose." He curled his tail around her thigh and slid down the length of her leg, smiling when her muscles still jolted, but it was very little; she was drifting. He took his hand away from her eyes and studied how at peace she was, and tried to pry her hand off of his neck, though she resisted. "Let go," he encouraged, "just relax your whole body. Ja'kal will be here. _Always._"

Serana nodded. Her chest rose and fell slowly, deeply. Serene Serana; he liked how those words played together. Her hands fell to her sides and the khajiit took a moment to tune to the sounds of the water himself. He held on to her hips as his eyes slipped shut, listening to the trickling and the fizzling, the plops and the pitter-patters. Leaves rustled. The wind hissed above, but the trees blocked out the breeze.

"Ma'jota," she peacefully murmured as the torchbugs and crickets grew louder; her tranquil tone almost didn't fit her. Ja'kal always smelled a kind of restless energy akin to his own, burning with curiosity to venture and explore everything there was to be explored. If he could take what she already knew and help her see it in a different way, _his _way, then he considered his own brand of lesson a success; to teach her about him, just as she taught him about her.

Fish dared to sate their own curiosity and neared their legs. He felt the change in the current, the brush of one slipping past his ankle. He remained still and calm; he would strike when he was ready.

Suddenly, Serana bent and swiped at the water, snatching one in both her hands. She held it up and away from her face, laughing in pride and groaning in disgust. "Eugh, it's so slimy!" She twisted to show off her catch, her elbows locked out and arms as straight as could be. She looked so happy and excited; he made sure to commit the sight to memory, of what precious few he had. She was the light in his world of darkness. "Look, I got one!"

Ja'kal smiled softly. The fish wasn't the victory. It wasn't until Serana's excitement ran it's course and she stared back at him, her proud smile melting back into serenity.

"Now I know how you feel."

And _that_ was the victory.

**x - x - x**

Serana didn't know how to put the feeling into words; it was exhilarating, and amazing, and thrilling to have even reached the level of clarity that she had. Granted, she still had no idea what she was supposed to do now, with the Moth Priest... But rarely did she ever get the chance to feel so _free._ It was just like the tower, and the hug, and she couldn't wait to see what she would achieve next. She tore down any obstacle that stood in her way.

That calm and natural confidence was something she craved to have in place of the one she pretended to have at times, relying on fear or intimidation if charm and persuasion didn't make the cut. She didn't have to do any of that with Ja'kal. It was strangely liberating to just throw caution to the wind, but it wasn't exactly a habit she was about to make. Priorities, after all.

But that could wait until tomorrow.

Serana watched as the lazy khajiit napped away, visibly more at ease after a decent meal and wounds nearly closed. She drew her knee to her chest and looked over to inspect the gash on her leg, taking it's sweet time regenerating. She had to _move._ She couldn't afford to dwell in this forest forever; but she didn't have a plan. The Moth Priest was safe in the Dawnguard's protection for now... But she had her doubts that her father would be so courteous enough as to leave it all be. Not when he was so close.

Ja'kal's brother was still in danger; it would only be a matter of time before Harkon ordered the court to siege the fortress. With what little work she needed to do with the soldiers she fought with, Dra'kul didn't have a chance. The Moth Priest would be captured, very highly likely turned into a mindless thrall, and the prophecy would continue.

This mission was getting more and more complicated by the day. Serana shut her book with a sigh and rested her head against the tree trunk. What calm clarity she had has slipped away, and her mind was cluttered once again. She found herself staring at Ja'kal, her brow knitting with worry.

What was she supposed to do? She felt helpless, and hopeless. She didn't want to see him so sad or hear his pain ever again, not like that, and she was sure that was the path they were on now. She couldn't protect him. She couldn't protect his brother; and she most certainly couldn't protect someone that tried to _kill them._

"Serana?" Ja'kal whispered, revealing he wasn't asleep after all. He rolled on his side, his blonde fur covered in specks of dirt, and he smiled when he turned his head up to look at her. He patted the spot beside him and stretched out his arm. "Ja'kal cannot sleep. Can you help?"

"How?" Oh, she knew how. She knew _very well_ how. He patted the spot again, staring at her as if she'd grown a second head. Yeah. She wasn't _that_ eager to tear down this obstacle. Her throat tightened and there was the tiniest prick in the base of her throat, nagging with every swallow as if there were an ant trapped inside. She smiled nervously when he rolled on his back and patted his chest instead.

"Ja'kal would like to do this with you someday, but under stars; you can tell this one what Jode and Jone look like. The moons."

Serana nibbled her lip in thought. She glanced at their knapsacks; they hadn't unpacked their camping supplies yet. "Let's go right now, then." She pushed herself up into standing and ignored the dull ache in her calf, trying her best to hide her limp as she made her way to Ja'kal and offered her hand. She smiled and rolled her eyes at how obviously eager and excited he was from that simple suggestion alone; he was like a switch, a candlelight bursting to life.

"Ja'kal will carry our things!" He announced proudly, and Serana didn't even have a chance to protest when he looked at her with a knowing smile. "Let this one shoulder your burden this time." He jerked his chin to her calf, and his whiskers flared; she didn't decipher what movements _whiskers_ meant. Why the hell was there so much to read in a khajiit's body language?

But then she spotted a glimmer in his milky eyes; and she was sure it wasn't just her own playing tricks on her. This wasn't the first time she saw something in his gaze. She rushed over before he picked up a knapsack, grabbing his arm. "Wait, Ja'kal. Look at me for a minute."

"Hm? Of course." He had no problem doing that. None whatsoever.

Could he have just a _little_ hesitance, please?

"Is Ja'kal searching for eyelashes again? Food stuck in teeth?"

"W-what? No." Was that what she had before when he'd stare at her so intensely? Maybe that explained the random moments he'd swipe his hand across her cheek.

Yes. That must have been it. It wasn't a show of affection at all, of course not.

"Do I have something on my face?" She asked out of curiosity, and Ja'kal smiled mischievously. He turned his arm so that his hand caught her wrist, and he moved forward, laughing and persisting even when she leaned backwards. His free hand wrapped around the small of her back and he rested his forehead against hers.

"Now you do," the words sung and danced. His whiskers tickled her nose, and his fur was warm and soft against her skin. Her breath hitched in her chest and her heart thundered up to take it's rightful throne in her throat once again. Her every thought _should_ be screaming for him to get away, and yet they were _offended_ he hadn't come closer already. She yelped when he pulled her back up into standing straight and smiled sheepishly, rubbing the bicep that had a bolt embedded in it no more than four hours ago. "Urada, Serana. It hurts. Ja'kal was afraid of dropping you."

"...Yeah..."

It made sense. It was an all-rounded word, a jack of all trades. It was the right thing to say at the right time; because _what the hell else_ was she supposed to say when her mind _and_ heart cried outrage at his diabolical and unforgivable action? So she stared. That made sense too.

Ja'kal's upper lip curled, and a smile she had never seen before had graced his face. She was riveted to it. Her mind emptied, just like the creek, and she just... _Stared._ Every thought circulated around those lips just like the current. She couldn't tell if she was terrified or thrilled, or both, and then for some horrible, _horrible,_ reason, her memories took her back to all the books she had read up to this point; to the book she _continued_ to indulge no longer than ten minutes ago.

"You do have something on your face, Serana," he husked, his hand cupping her jawbone. His thumb stroked across her cheek and he lowered to her lips.

She shoved him away the _spitting second_ she saw the glint in his eyes again.

"No more disease!" Was all she said as she took their knapsacks and ran away. Again. As usual. The whole time, she couldn't get a passage from a certain book out of her head; the damn _thjizzrini. _She should've burned it with Barenziah.

_3\. "Fusozay Var Var": "Enjoy Life"_

__Life is short. If you have not made love recently, please, put down this book, and take care of that with all haste. Find a wanton lass or a frisky lad, or several, in whatever combination your wise loins direct, and do not under any circumstances play hard to get. Our struggle against the colossal forces of oppression can wait. __

No.

**No.**

Priorities. The Moth Priest could not wait; and Serana was going to play _very_ hard to get.

After all, a vampire's life was long.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Mwuahahahahaha. Ahahahah HAH! Okay please don't leave me, come back to the next chapter. There will be candy ;p  
_

_**Translation**_

_Ma'jota - _bugs/insects

_Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz - _when I contradict myself, I am telling the truth

_Urada - _sorry

_Thjizzrini - _foolish concepts


	12. Ari Jer Zath

_**Chapter 12: Ari Jer Zath**_

* * *

Strangely enough, the tail and ears remained drooped no matter what Serana tried. She didn't understand why Ja'kal was so sad; though she could ask and knew she'd get an honest answer, she was afraid just what kind of answer she would receive. It would be tied into some sort of action, and she was just as terrified as to what kind of action she would _receive._

It was what she ran away from, after all, and it was a foolish move to leave him behind in the forest the way that she did. She trusted his nose more than her own sight now, but as proven recently, his nose had a penchant for landing them in fatally hot water.

Serana picked a spot where the plains' grass hid them from plain view, one where they had an obstructed view of the gorgeous sky themselves. She smiled when she looked up, little smoky breaths pattering out of her, and stretched to the stars. The moons wouldn't bother Ja'kal as long as he didn't look behind them. She dropped their knapsacks with a relieved huff and bent to nurse her calf; why was it still aching? It looked fully healed, but perhaps silver had a way of festering beneath the skin. She could only imagine just how much pain Ja'kal was actually in, but he appeared fine.

Appearances were deceiving with this sly cat, that was for sure.

Ja'kal approached her and knelt by her calf, studying it in silence. It unnerved her. She was so used to his lively nature, and she honestly felt _guilty_ with the way his ears stayed flattened forward. She angled her calf towards him when he reached, and suppressed the shudder of his hand softly kneading the muscle belly. He gripped it whole, closing his eyes, and a gentle warmth pulsed through his palm. She saw tiny beams of light slip between his fingers.

_Restoration_ magic.

"You know how to heal?" Serana quirked an eyebrow; really, should she be surprised? That thought alone clicked a puzzle piece into place, and she smirked as she shook her head at herself. _Of course_ he knew restoration magic. It was so _him, _tying into his nature; tying into the nature that was khajiit, not vampire. The reminder left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Only others," he murmured, still concentrating. He opened his eyes when the beams of light extinguished and lifted his palm away, turning her calf at a different angle. Shivers raced up her spine with just a tender stroke of his thumb across where the gash was.

If this kept up, she would be the one that tied an action to her answer.

"Not yourself?" Serana blurted in hopes to derail her thoughts. "Why?"

Ja'kal shrugged. "It is hard to heal what you do not love."

Time stood still. Serana's breath caught in her throat and she nearly choked on it, sputtering. "P-pardon?"

Maybe she didn't hear that right. That had to be it. Her vampiric senses have spectacularly failed her and she had a severe lapse of judgment, and her mind drifted away, and it filled it with shameful fantasies spurred on by salacious books. She knew she did hear it right. She knew he'd exposed his feelings in a roundabout way.

So did she; in a very, _very_ roundabout way.

"It is hard to heal what you do not love," he repeated as he rose; she expected an impish grin, a telltale tail of mischief, but neither made an appearance and it worried her. His ears were still flat, and his whiskers flicked and flared occasionally. She got the sense he was holding back, and instinct guided her hands to his shoulders, curious thumbs gliding along both sides of his jaw.

"You don't love yourself." It was a statement more than a question, and as she gave voice to the words, they twisted a dagger in her. She smiled sadly when he nodded. "Is this what you meant when you said you had bad thoughts?"

He nodded again.

Serana chewed on the corner of her lip. Her own confession rested on the tip of her tongue, but it refused to roll off the edge of the cliff. She slid her arms further along until her elbows rested on his shoulders, and she glanced down when his hands came to rest on her hips. He was _so close,_ but he still felt so far away. There was an almost _painful_ need for him to be happy and it made her chest ache; she couldn't breathe and be at peace until she saw life breathed into him again.

There was a flash of a spark in his eyes, the faintest glimmer, but it looked more like a reflection. It strengthened her earlier hypothesis; she playfully poked his nose. "No more disease, Ja'kal." For some reason, his tail had dropped completely. His gaze bowed away from hers, and she was the one who had to tighten her hold when he tried to step away. "What are you doing?"

"Serana does not want to be touched by a khajiit, yes? Humans always think khajiit are diseased."

"...What?"

They stared.

Realization dawned, and Serana's mouth fell in a silent 'oh'; then she _laughed. _"No! I wasn't talking about you being riddled with disease, or anything of the sort." It wouldn't be possible anymore, anyways. That was another lesson she'd have to quickly sneak in. "I meant your eyes. I think vampirism is slowly reversing the disease, since we're _immune_ to diseases." She beamed a hopeful smile. "One day you'll get to see normally, and you'll be able to paint your own pictures."

Why didn't his tail rise? What did she have to do to lift his spirits again?

"But Ja'kal likes it when you paint them."

Did he seriously have an issue with _seeing _the world? She could kind of understand where he was coming from... Actually, no, she couldn't; but she smiled and pretended that she could. She nodded up to the stars. "How about we paint them together, like tonight?" She leaned away to get a better read on him, but nothing changed. It was getting frustrating. She could read an atmosphere, but she couldn't read a singular emotion; worse yet, she couldn't read the individual who was closer to her than her family ever was. He was so _subdued _and submissive.

That just wouldn't do.

"Alright, get on the ground," she stated sternly; she unpacked and unrolled his pelt on the grass, waiting for the downhearted khajiit to move. She was going to change that into lionhearted, and she was going to be lionhearted, and Ja'kal was going to be more like a lively lion than a mopey cat.

She needed to hear his laughter.

Every move Ja'kal made was so slow and lifeless. She took it upon herself to _shove_ him down when he took his sweet time crawling on his knees, and she was sure she'd at least pry a chuckle or playful smile from him for it; nothing. _Aggravating._

"What do I need to do to make you _you_ again?" Serana muttered as she stood above him. He looked up at her with sorrow engraved in every part of him as if his soul had always bathed in it, and she was desperate to pull him out of his slump. Had she been desperate enough to _kiss_ him? Possibly, but something told her it still wouldn't help. She needed to get to the root of the cause, to find out exactly what dragged him down to this degree. She sighed when he didn't answer and simply laid down to look up at the stars.

Ja'kal was having bad thoughts... And only _Serana-ro_ made them go away. Perhaps she needn't try so hard, but rather be herself, and maybe then he would have good thoughts again. She laid down beside him and helped herself to his arm as a pillow, adjusting it _for _herself when he made no move to. She swore she saw a subtle smile, but when she stared at him, there was nothing. His gaze remained fixated on the sky.

"Why don't you love yourself?" Serana blurted out of curiosity, and nipped her tongue as punishment. Way to steer him away from depressing topics.

"Many reasons, for many years," he whispered. "Do not worry." Yeah, no thanks. She was going to do the exact opposite with how he was right now. "Sometimes Ja'kal has bad days, like everyone, yes? Just memories." He absentmindedly curled the arm she laid on, and his fingertips lazily stroked up and down her shoulder. "This one hopes you are not blaming yourself."

Well, that was up for debate. "I wouldn't if I knew why you're in this slump."

"Ja'kal already said: memories."

Oh, hell. This was going to be like prying fangs out.

"Yes, but what _kind_ of memories? They could be anything. They could be memories of me-"

"Ja'kal knows that you know it is not."

Serana pushed up on her elbow and twisted to him, irritated when he still didn't look at her. "Why won't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"Do you?"

"I...!" Serana's mouth stayed open, but nothing came out. She closed her mouth and sighed as she laid back down, mumbling reluctantly. "No, I don't." She nibbled on the flesh of her cheek, glaring at the stars. They were supposed to be gazing and painting and free and happy. This wasn't the picture she wanted painted, the memory engraved, the anger brewing. She rolled and hid her face in his shoulder. "I don't know what to do, Ja'kal... About _anything._"

Silence fell. He patted her shoulder. "You do know, but you think you cannot do it; that it is impossible."

"What would you know what I'm thinking?"

"Because Serana is a thinker." That was so vague, it was barely an answer. "But sometimes the path hides in feelings, not thoughts. It is your mind that says it is impossible, but it is your heart that says it is possible. It is up to you to choose what you will listen to. Nobody can choose your path for you, but everybody can make a path easy or hard."

"What about you? Your path has been chosen for you. You've just... Followed me everywhere, without question. Literally."

"Ah, but that is where you are wrong. Ja'kal did choose his path." Pressure pressed to the top of her head. She stilled when she felt breaths seep through her hair and sink in her scalp. "That path is _Serana, _no matter where it goes, no matter where it takes Ja'kal. Sometimes it is scary, especially when this khajiit does not know what is going on, and sometimes the mind says it is impossible... But those are the times Ja'kal learns to trust his heart more and more."

"If you don't know, why don't you ever ask?"

"What for?"

"Uh..." How was he asking that as if _she_ was the weird one for asking about something that actually made rational sense? "So it's less scary, I guess."

Chuckles rumbled deep in his chest, and she felt it vibrate through his shoulder, buzzing in her ear. She severely underestimated the power of his laughter; it melted the tension she had not known she even held in every muscle spindle and fiber, overcome with relief. The pressure returned to the top of her head, and she felt his nose nuzzle against her.

"There is no need to ask. _I trust you._ Unconditionally." He paused, and whispered ever so softly, a secret meant only for her ears. "Ja'kal ari jer."

Serana pushed herself up to look at him, and she finally saw the traces of life returning to him. His ears unfolded, and curiosity marveled his features. She playfully tapped his nose, and her finger slid down to his lips. She traced the outline of them, staring, then lifted her gaze and smirked. "I have something to teach you. Pay close attention, you don't want to miss this lesson, okay? No falling asleep on me here." She would be _crushed_ if he actually did.

"Ja'kal will not even blink. Promise."

Laughter bubbled and skipped out of her chest. She was _positive_ she was going to enjoy this more than him. She leaned down, chuckling with how eager he looked; he really wasn't going to blink. She hovered an excruciating inch away from his mouth, never taking her eyes off his. She greatly appreciated that he contained himself; that the first move was _hers_ and hers alone to make... But there was something else she had to do first. Something to reciprocate.

"Ja'kal..." She shimmied over and folded her arms on his chest, putting all her weight down. If her suspicion was right, she would _need_ to do this. She wasn't going to lie, she enjoyed how dearly he appeared to struggle with how close she was. It was empowering; and she wanted to share it.

"Serana ari jer _zath._"

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Stay tuned for another chapter later today! It might or might not go unnoticed/refreshed if I update under the 24h counter again. Candy is coming soon, we'll get some cavities ;p  
_

**_Translation_**

_Ari jer - _if you haven't figured out what this means yet, think about what Serana might be saying back to him, with the next word ;)

_Zath - _too


	13. Breaking Rules & Testing Patience

_**Chapter 13: Breaking Rules & Testing Patience**_

* * *

"Sera..." He gulped. "Na..."

She knew.

She **knew**.

She had already found out what she was saying long ago.

"What's wrong? Khajiit got your tongue?" Serana teased, and she looked so calm and confident and casual and relaxed and all these things that drove the khajiit _crazy_ as he stared. He was paralyzed outside, overwhelmed inside. Too many things raced and roared and ran and hid and danced and sung.

She _knew._

"Ja'kal _needs_ to kiss you," he blurted, and the hands neatly folded on his chest pressed down against him with surprising strength. He couldn't budge. "Serana _afa,_ this one will do anything and is not above begging or bribing. Afa; _please._ Ja'kal ari jer zira na."

"Anything?" Her brow quirked up and she smiled mischievously; it almost did not fit her, and at the same time fit her too well. He didn't care what he's just unleashed upon the world. He _needed_ to kiss her, or he would explode. He nodded passionately, trying with all his might not to latch on to her, for he would surely be swept away by this current that rushed through him stronger than any river he'd ever swam before; he didn't want to accidentally hurt her with his claws.

"Alright. First rule."

Ja'kal's eyes widened in horror. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes. I know how much you _love_ rules." Serana's smile twisted into something truly sadistic. She could be terrifying when she wanted to be. "First rule..."

"Serana-_afa._" That was her new damn honorific.

She went on as if she hadn't heard him. "I call the shots." She didn't actually expect him to listen, right? "If you touch me, the kiss is off." She was smarter than this.

But try as she might, she would not outsmart this khajiit.

"S'rendarr have mercy," Ja'kal grumbled. He truly wanted to cry and he didn't care how much of a mopey house cat he'd look like.

"Second rule-"

He grabbed her and kissed her.

For a moment, her entire body grew rigid against him. Then her lips moved, slow and curious, and they were soft and sweet and he absolutely adored her smell and taste and by the _moons, _it was everything his strange dreams foretold. He angled his head and asked for permission as he licked and nipped her bottom lip, taking advantage of the opportunity when her mouth parted and he slipped his tongue inside. He tested how sharp her fangs were and poked the tips of them, igniting a fire in his belly when his tongue stung.

Tiny fingers combed through his fur, and he whined pitifully when Serana broke the kiss. Her smirk danced in the night and she swung her leg over to hover above his hips, sitting up straight and _far_ away from his mouth. She brushed her disheveled hair behind her ears, but it spilled forward and cast shadows upon her face, half her braids in the process of being undone. He reached, and groaned when his gaze snapped to the length of his claws.

"Ja'kal just wants to touch your hair... This is torture."

"Really? Not the four or so bolts that were in you today?"

He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth. "This one does not remember after the first, and this is still worse. Do you have a knife? Ja'kal will pare his claws right now."

Serana's eyes widened, and whether she meant to torment him even _more_ or not, she'd finally sat on his hips. Her rump was near a most _special_ place for Ja'kal, and he tried to wriggle downwards so that she was at least a few more inches away. Serana seemed none the wiser, and was fixated on his claws instead. "You're going to cut them all off just to touch my hair?" She shrugged when he nodded, and an amused smile danced upon her lips as she reached behind her hip to unsheathe her dagger.

Impatient, Ja'kal only pared off the claws of one hand, tossing her dagger aside and smirking when she laughed. He motioned for her to come closer, and she propped her hands on each side of his head as she leaned down. For some reason, she looked sheepish when he buried his hand in her hair; until he ruffled it and loosened the rest of her braids.

"Hey!"

"What?" Ja'kal fought _so_ very hard to smile innocently. "It will be a mess sooner or later. Better sooner, no?"

Serana rolled her eyes, and blew at her bangs to push her hair out of her eyes. He combed it back and pinned them to the side of her head, taking a moment to study her face and commit every single stunning detail to memory. He smiled affectionately, and every word poured straight from the heart without thought. "Jer oku serush wo silla'a dena jer." A curiosity marveled at that thought, for Serana knew what she was saying earlier, and he cocked his head. "Did you understand that?"

"A little. I've only looked up the words you've used, and the words I... Thought I might someday want to use."

Oh, that made him _soar; _and she knew.

She **knew**.

"It means you look beautiful with the stars behind you." Ja'kal gently pulled her down, and was beyond happy that she didn't resist when she came close to his mouth. He angled his head and lifted to meet her, blurting a confession against her lips. "That night in the crypt, you _saved_ Ja'kal's life."

"What?" Serana pulled away, and that distance between them _hurt._ Literally. He was still sore from his wounds, but he pushed past the pain and his stomach worked harder to lift him higher. He kissed her, indulging, hungering for more. He tore away and took the dagger, paring the rest of his claws as quickly as he could, then reached to sheathe her dagger back in it's scabbard. He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her roughly, possessing her mouth with a sense of desperation; he _couldn't_ blink, for he was scared she would disappear.

He couldn't handle that kind of pain and loss all over again.

"Ja'kal," she muffled, trying to break the kiss. He cursed himself; why did he have to be so stupid as to make her curious? He grumbled when she succeeded and narrowed her eyes as she gave him a stern look. "Tell me what you meant, because what I remember of the crypt is the _complete_ opposite."

"It means you saved Ja'kal." He tried to close the distance, but she simply leaned away with a satisfied smirk.

"Oh, no, no. _Third_ rule. You will clarify everything you mean in detail."

Ja'kal groaned, and it was his turn to roll his eyes. He sighed. "It is a long story. Can Ja'kal make it short for now? This one would very much like to kiss you instead."

"I'll negotiate with you just this once; yes, it can be a short story, but it still better clarify exactly what you meant."

There was something terribly wrong in how she seemed to have more fun with this than kissing Ja'kal. He aimed to fix that.

All in one breath, he rushed. "Ja'kal wanted to die."

They stared.

Her expression hadn't changed. She... Knew?

"Serana is not surprised?"

"No." Eventually, a warm smile graced her face. "I'm not." She sat up and reached for his wrists, bringing his hands to the space between their chests. There was another curiosity that marveled her features, and slowly, inch by inch, she slipped her fingers between his. His arms were guided upwards as she lowered, and his stomach kicked into overdrive as he leaned up to meet her. His desperation flared back when her soft lips brushed against his, whispering. "Well, you know, technically... Your wish came true." Her eyes slipped shut, but there was a subtle sly smirk that tugged at the corner of her mouth. Her eyebrow arched the way it would whenever she thought she was oh _so_ clever.

And, oh, she was.

"Now you're living un-death to the fullest."

It took a moment for him to translate and sink in, and laughter roared to life. She kissed him and he tasted her proud smile; and he was just as proud that she had taken something negative and turned it into something positive. She did that to his whole _life_ as if there was nothing to it, changing his world.

"Ja'kal ari jer," he said between bouts of mirth, "Ja'kal ari jer opa, opa zira na." His core quivered, exhausted, and he fell back to the ground with a flop as his lungs starved for air. He tried to gulp and swallow as much as he could in between laughter, but whatever he wrought was stolen away as Serana claimed what was rightfully hers. Her hips shifted back and pressed to his as she lowered, her elbows cradling his head. He groaned and sincerely wished something else would not _roar_ to life as the fire in his belly threatened to turn into a wildfire that would never extinguish.

Ja'kal broke the kiss this time and latched on her hips, burying his face in her hair. He fought to repress the _purr_ bubbling in the back of his throat, and pleasure ebbed behind his eyes as her pelvis unwittingly rubbed against his. He knew she was aware and felt him harden when her entire body tensed.

"Urada, Serana... Ja'kal knows this one should have more control, but it is so hard around you."

"I'm noticing that now," Serana chuckled nervously, though she was still petrified. That fear he smelled before had been stoked in an instant and burned his nose; he was just as afraid of _why_ she was afraid of intimacy. It angered him greatly thinking what could have caused it, and that anger overcame him before it could be tamed.

"Ja'kal will never hurt you; he will _kill_ everybody who had and will try to hurt you."

"Good thing you're immortal, then, because that list is long." The wry joke tumbled out in a whisper. She reluctantly rose to look at him, searching his eyes for answers, it seemed. "I know you'd never hurt me, but... I still need time."

"It is not a fear you are ready to face, yes?"

"I... Yes, I guess so."

"Ja'kal understands. This one will always be here, and when you are ready, we will face it together." He beamed a warm smile, hoping to foster nurture and support and comfort so that she could melt against him again. Time and impatience may have been a terrible combination for him, but he had chosen the path of _Serana; _she came before him, no matter the matter.

It was more than he dreamed of just to _taste_ her smile against his lips.

**x - x - x**

Snores and purrs rung in her ear, and her tongue was terribly sore from how hard she'd bitten it to stop herself from smiling every time. The lazy khajiit's limbs had sprawled out all over the pelt, and it was an honest-to-god challenge to stay on his side with how his legs and tail thrashed about. She had to sling her leg over his thigh to contain him; thankfully her pillow, his arm, hadn't moved too much. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, thoroughly entertained by his open mouth and drool making a notably damp path down his fur. As long as he didn't get that drool all over her, she was happy.

And he looked so, _so _happy too.

Honestly, she was nervous how he'd react for being rejected, sort of. He didn't even seem fazed. In her past experiences, men didn't take kindly to being told 'no'. There were consequences. Consequences she didn't want to pay, and so fooled herself into thinking what was forced upon her was what she wanted.

Here and now, she controlled and chose what she wanted. It was almost strange to have such a liberating power; it was almost just as strange to exercise it on Ja'kal. There was a hunger that gnawed away inside of her, one that she ignored; a hunger to make _him_ submit and bend to her will. She wasn't a fool. She knew where that 'instinct' stemmed from, and she knew herself well enough to know it was one of the things she hadn't wanted.

But, a thinker she was, and she thought of many, _many _things; and many, _many_ things flushed her cheeks with heat. She'd stolen a look to make sure the khajiit was asleep before she'd let her eyes roam freely, and her gaze often landed on the mysterious bulge centered squarely in between his hips. Oh, she knew nothing of that, nothing at all. She hadn't consumed every detail that demystified the bulge in every salacious book in her hands, of course not. Those books were solely for educational purposes.

Gods, was his... Thing... Actually _barbed? _Why on Nirn would they be barbed?! The physiological purpose proved to remain more elusive than the dwemers' disappearance.

Those _barbs_ were the fear she truly wasn't ready for. After all this time, she still hadn't processed her shock over it; and if her mind hadn't processed it, there was no way she would allow her body to go ahead and try. Though she fully trusted him in that he wouldn't hurt her, he still would, unintentionally, and she feared _where_ that pain would take her mind back to.

Maybe one day, she could, but that day wasn't today. She knew she would get there one step at a time. After all, the notion of kissing seemed impossible yesterday, and here she was, sleeping directly beside him, sneaking feather-light kisses whenever his head lulled towards her. The sensation still felt abnormal and she wanted to rectify that; she found herself smiling whenever the unruly fur of his chin tickled hers.

Had someone told her she would have been doing any of these things _at all,_ with a khajiit or no, when she'd first awoken from her slumber... She would have considered throttling them with her magic.

Watching him as he slept was proving to be a more enjoyable hobby than reading, and she absentmindedly chewed on her lip as she shifted to lay on him more. She missed how his kisses made her feel; it sounded absolutely cliché, but it was _magical,_ or that was the closest word she could think of to describe the sensations that made her nerves sing. It was like whenever she had thought to charge electricity in her palm. That was what he did throughout her entire body.

She craved it, and so she sought it.

Serana swung her leg over so that she straddled his hips; afraid she was, yes, but there was an undeniable thrill of the... _Effect..._ She wrought from him. Surely this coupling had to be just as strange to the one who had trouble comprehending wishing mornings instead of moons. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that, up until they met each other, he'd probably thought he'd settle with a kind khajiit lass; if he ever settled at all.

But, after all, they were both avid explorers. Perhaps the _exotic_ appealed to him just as much as it appealed to her.

Ja'kal stirred beneath her, and she smirked when his milky blue eyes fluttered awake. "Do oonpal, Ja'kal," she husked, uncaring if it was actually morning or not. As soon as she dared shift down a little, her rump over the mysterious bulge, an exhilarating and almost _nauseating _rush shot through her when she'd felt his body respond to her. His gaze glazed, and Ja'kal took a deep, shuddering breath, never tearing his eyes away from her.

"Do oonpal, Serana," he purred; the rolled _r_ in her name was so much more pronounced, dancing off his tongue. He looked down where their hips were joined and his whiskers flared, a dark look swept over his eyes as his gaze snapped back up to her. A _sinful_ promise hid behind his smile. "You are playing with fire. Ja'kal is on to you."

"Technically, _I'm_ the one on to you," she teased and smirked when he laughed, rocking her.

"That may be true, but, remember? You cannot outsmart a khajiit. This one knows what game you are trying to play, and Ja'kal will not lose."

"That's some confidence."

Here they went, off on another contest. Now Serana needed to get her priorities straight; she was just as confident that Ja'kal would not mind being blamed for this. She rested her hands on his chest, chilling her fingers to coax them through his fur. His shivers delighted her, sating her curiosity for _cause_ and _effect._ His tail end sashayed lazily and draped over her calf, but he made no move to _move,_ stretching his arms out as his intense gaze bore into her. In that moment, she felt bare and vulnerable, as if she could see into his thoughts; it was no secret what he was restraining himself from doing. In so little time, thus far, he had proven to be steadfast in his commitments; that tenacity was admirable and endearing.

Now just how strong was his resolve?

"Testing Ja'kal's control, Serana?"

"More like..." She ran her finger down his chest, hooking it on his waistband. She popped off a button, and _loved_ what it did to him. He could posture macho all he wanted.

She saw the screaming in his eyes.

"...Your patience."

* * *

_**Translation**_

_Afa - _please

_Ari jer (opa) zira na - _love you (so) very much

_Jer oku serush wo silla'a dena jer -_ you look beautiful with the stars behind you

_Do oonpal - _good morning


	14. No Objections

_**Chapter 14: No Objections**_

* * *

Serana was a mess. She didn't know if she wanted to break him, or love him, or hurt him. She tried to sate all three as she curled her fingertips in and raked her nails down his ribs, and a hot-blooded rush jolted through her upon hearing his hiss. He still refused to put his hand on her, fingers gnarling into soil instead. He never took his eyes off her the entire time she sought to entice him with a mixture of pleasure and pain.

Lust pooled in the pits of her belly, but she retained control of her own inhibitions, cautious so that she wouldn't cross the line or push Ja'kal past the point of no return. His limitless resolve intrigued her, however, and curiosity begged that she see how much he could really take. She reached behind to undo the laces of her leather corset, prying it off until she was left with her thin red tunic. She rocked up on her knees and planted her hands above his head, leaning forward until her shirt could not cling to her frame and hung enough to provide an ample seductive view down her chest; she smirked when he broke his gaze.

"Looks like fish aren't the only ones that fall for bait, Ja'kal."

"This khajiit will not lose," he muttered, grabbing fistfuls of dirt. She _knew_ he had to force himself to look up at her. His hungry gaze thrilled her in ways she couldn't deny, though her fear still lingered in the back of her mind. Why she was brazen to this degree had mystified even her.

"I think this khajiit will," Serana challenged, and her gaze snapped to the hand that rose, hovering over her hip. His fingers flexed, and then he slapped the ground. She laughed when he groaned, and she stole a quick glance when his eyes slipped shut. The mysterious bulge mysteriously grew; what an interesting phenomenon, she certainly had no idea what could have caused that particular effect.

"Third rule..." Ja'kal husked, tethering her eyes back to his. "This one wishes to clarify, in _great_ detail, what he means to do to you. Ja'kal will drive his hips into yours and make you scream for all of Skyrim to hear, while whispering soft and loving things in your ear. Ja'kal believes there is a connection between our ears and loins."

Well, as ridiculous as that sounded, he wasn't that far off with how she felt about what she heard.

Buttons unsnapped below, and that fear lodged in her throat when she thought he meant to exercise his promise and turn it into _action._ She watched his hand slip beneath his waistband to adjust himself instead, and another rush surged through her when she saw the tip of his penis nearly poke out of his trousers. He stroked himself and his eyes slipped shut, hissing. "Ja'kal wishes to make love to you until morning light..." A hint of a sinful smirk showed itself again. "And then we nap."

Oh. Wow. What a romantic.

"I was expecting something else with a smile like that," Serana confessed, and it was her turn to force her eyes to stay on his. She tried to ignore the motions below, and she'd honestly felt _dirty_ just watching his expressions as he shamelessly pleasured himself beneath her... But it was intoxicating. Addicting. _Arousing_.

And she was losing in a way that shouldn't have even been an outcome in their contest.

So she decided to play by _his_ rules, if he was going to change them.

Serana lowered on her elbows and explored something other than his lips. She went for his neck and bared her fangs, lightly raking downwards until she met his shoulder. Ja'kal moaned and shuddered, exhilarating her as a new sense of power washed over her. That boldness shied away when she stole another look below and saw his entire girth in his hand, stroking passionately. The sight left an almost painful throbbing between her legs, but she couldn't bring herself to... _Join_ him.

"Serana," he rasped, "Ja'kal wants to be inside you. Can we, please? I promise I will be gentle." Every time he made a conscious effort to refer to himself the way she did, she knew he was thinking just as much as he was feeling; this wasn't just a conquest, or a reckless and impulsive decision.

"I know you will." She chewed on her lip, and her heart immediately hammered in her ears when he'd taken his hand off of himself. There _were_ barbs; tiny, but all along the length. Without indulging him with an answer, she timidly took his hand and ignored how awkward she felt as she inspected his palm. No cuts, no blood. Maybe it really was as pleasurable as the books proclaimed? But every single scene stated there was some mild pain, both during and after sex. Maybe it just wasn't possible with their physiology. Maybe they were crazy for even considering this at all.

Maybe it just wasn't meant to be?

"Serana?" His worried tone broke through the haze, and as fear began to soar, her mind kicked desire to the side; clarity, and _self-preservation,_ returned. Warm smoky clouds of his breath puffed out sporadically, contrasting the chill in the air. He reached with his free hand, the one that _hadn't_ touched himself, and caressed her cheek. "Ja'kal can tame passion, but not love. You are and always will be loved no matter what you do."

After all this, this build up that _she_ instigated, he would just cast it all aside? There had to be more to it than control and tenacity and patience and... Love. By the gods, he had no hidden emotion; he probably couldn't hide them even if he tried. Affection was as earnest and carefree as lust, and it took a moment for her to wrap her mind that two very different sides of a septim had existed right beneath her.

"I wish I could be half as brave as you," she muttered as she swung her leg off and laid beside him; but she couldn't bear to look and rolled so that her back was to him. She wished she could strip the power away from fear with but a thought, as he made it appear, and wished that wishing would actually _do_ something. For some reason, intimacy just seemed so astronomically impossible, as if the only way to prove that she could do it was do something even more drastically insane, like travel to an entirely different realm all together or something.

"You are," Ja'kal urged; she appreciated his thoughtful and compassionate gesture, she did, but she didn't believe him. An arm wrapped around her and he conformed to her back, forcing his hand under her head until his bicep became her pillow. There was another feeling she had trouble describing: him hugging her. She expected a notable _poke_ against her, though didn't dare let curiosity venture too far when she hadn't. How he tamed his passion within that minute was either proof of his endurance, or lack thereof... Or his willpower to will it all away.

"I'm not, but thank you for being kind to me." Serana twisted to smile over her shoulder, reaching across her torso to frame his jaw. He'd nudged her to roll back into him and stole a kiss; there was a sense of urgency in it, and she wondered if this was the remnants of passion, or the desperation to prove a point.

Neither.

It comforted her instead, slowly stitching a gaping hole in her heart. Her resistance was laughably weak when he tugged her ever so gently, persuading her to face him. How he had kissed her before was the complete opposite to how he kissed her now, and she'd felt some sort of _string_ tug inside of her, when pressure burned behind her eyes. She broke the kiss when his hand rested on her chest, between her breasts, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

But his were closed.

Slivers of light slipped between his fingers and pulsed against her, seeping through her shirt, warming her skin in a strangely refreshing way. Whatever this was supposed to mean, she liked it. Magic fluttered and danced along her nerves, sending calming waves throughout her body. Goosebumps rose and tingled, and her eyes slipped shut when he angled his head and claimed her lips with such tenderness she wished she could be the proprietor of. She didn't think she would ever get over the ticklish sensation of his whiskers grazing her, and she hoped it would stay that way for as long as it could.

Magic all faded away and he pulled back, opening his eyes when the light extinguished. "Serana is a thinker. You must have thought Ja'kal to be a hypocrite, a liar; speaking of loving oneself in order to love another, yet Ja'kal admitted he does not love himself. So how can this one love you?"

Well, she hadn't, but now that he mentioned it...

"Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz," she helpfully supplied his excuse, and smiled when he laughed.

"I am not, but thank you for being kind to me," he shot back with a smirk. He relaxed on his side and rested his head on his fist, his other hand roaming up and down her red tunic, but thankfully stayed beneath her breasts. "But, you see? It is because of _your_ bravery that you have inspired this one to be _half as brave as you. _Ja'kal would not have ever remembered what it is like to love if you had not reminded this one. Ja'kal forgot one of the most important concepts: _f__usozay var var._ Enjoy life."

Oh, no. Why did he have to remind her?

_Find a wanton lass or a frisky lad, or several, in whatever combination your wise loins direct, and do not under any circumstances play hard to get._

If only it were possible to burn the thought out of her mind; Ja'kal's_ the heart says it is possible_ theory regretfully couldn't apply in this case.

Serana didn't know what else to say, to reciprocate. She heard him and she understood him and she believed him, yes, but that did not make the doubts magically disappear... For once, she was kind of sort of okay with that. They had time. She believed him, and that meant she believed it _would_ eventually change with and in time. For now, today? She took his hand and guided it under her tunic, to feel him against her skin, and reached for his jaw to pull him in for a kiss.

Ja'kal _grumbled._

"Excuse me, do you actually have a problem with this? We can stop kissing if-" Serana's laughter was muffled when he'd pressed harder, then mumbled against her mouth.

"Do not think Ja'kal is not on to you."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know, and you also know very well what _you_ are talking about. The only way you can outsmart a khajiit is if you are smarter than the khajiit; and Serana is _very_ smart."

"Are you admitting I can outsmart you?"

"...You may have already had your moments, perhaps, yes."

Serana leaned back in surprise. "I've outsmarted you _and_ I've gotten your pride-"

"_Tsk!_" He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth. "You do not need to rub it in!" Her laughter was muffled again when he pulled her against him by her waist, rolling her on her side. His tail curled around her thigh and his fingers burrowed in the back of her hair, seeking his revenge as he slipped his tongue in her mouth. She'd sought purchase in a shirt, only to remember he didn't have one, and she accidentally scratched him as her fingers twisted and yanked on fur. His groan vibrated in her mouth and tested the embers in the pits of her belly, but she forced herself to withdraw, smiling apologetically.

"I shouldn't tease you anymore if I'm not ready... It's not fair to you."

"Ah, here is where the khajiit outsmarts you." There was that sinful smile again, and a _dare_ in his eyes. "You are forgetting something very important, yes?"

"Oh?" She wasn't one to back down from an obvious challenge. Would they ever stop making everything a contest? Probably not. "And just what am I forgetting?"

"Ja'kal never objected to being teased."

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Okay. Let's be real here. We all know Ja'kal would not ever object to anything that has Serana involved! As tempting as it would be to derail into smut without plot, sadly, there is a plot to return to; and very, very awkwardly shall they return. Look on the bright side: they are vampires, and that means they have a long, long time to do many, many things to each other ;) Thanks again to all loyal readers and reviewers, I'm always open to feedback and constructive criticism. See you in the next chapter!  
_

**_Translation_**

_Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz -_ when I contradict myself, I am telling the truth

_F__usozay var var - _enjoy life


	15. Khajiit Courting

_**Chapter 15: Khajiit Courting**_

* * *

"Jer vara zira zaji," Ja'kal husked, hands taking their sweet time exploring as they ran up and down the sides of her thighs. She was at a loss of what to do, honestly, because while she clearly enjoyed herself when the khajiit _enjoyed_ himself, she didn't exactly have the carefree courage of how to deliberately tease and seduce him; so she sat on his stomach, a safe distance away from the mysterious phenomenon behind her, and watched his hands wander.

"I'm what?" She cocked her head in curiosity, glancing behind when he cupped the muscle bellies of her calves. His thumb stroke tenderly across the gash that once was.

"_Sexy,_" Ja'kal purred sensually. She laughed and shook her head, and the khajiit's ears stood straight up, flicking off to one direction before they honed in on her. "You do not believe you are?" There was still a substantial difference between believing _biased _compliments, and believing facts.

"I've been called lots of things; _that_ has never been one of them." Serana smirked and rested her hands on his chest. "Not that I've ever given anyone cause to." She drummed her fingers and looked up at the stars, humming in thought. "I suppose it's just another thing to get used to, like this."

"Sitting on a fur rug?" Ja'kal lilted his joke and earned a more genuine laugh, easing the awkward feeling of... _All_ of this, away. Then he went rigid, and she looked down, confused as to why his nose moved as furiously as his ears. He narrowed his eyes and gestured for her to come closer to him, and he wrapped an arm around her back as he rolled on his side to gently take her down to the ground with him. "Tarmo. Halki."

Serana's brow pinched and she frowned. "I washed my clothes. I shouldn't smell that way anymore."

"No. Someone else. Someone like _us._ They are coming straight for us. Stay down; Ja'kal will tell you when to strike, if needed."

Another vampire? There was no telling what intentions that vampire had, even if they were from Volkihar castle. Serana unsheathed her dagger and charged electricity in her palm as Ja'kal pushed himself up and cloaked, only proving to her that he stayed beside her when she felt something long and thin drape over her shins; his tail. It went from soft to scratchy, bristling. She stiffened when she _felt_ a powerful aura rapidly approaching, and the vampire was in front of them long before Ja'kal had the chance to even utter a syllable.

"Garan, what are you doing here?" Serana blinked in surprise, and the dunmer bowed respectfully to her. He seemed to look offside, smirking at Ja'kal. The khajiit reluctantly revealed himself and bowed his head, tail flattened against Serana even more in fear. It didn't matter how young or experienced a vampire was; everyone respected Garan's power.

Hopefully that meant he was still on Serana's side.

"Lord Harkon sent myself and _others_ to investigate what happened at Forebears' hideout. One of the pawns escaped and reported that Malkus' party had been slain, and the Moth Priest was in the Dawnguard's hands. I had not known you and your..." His gaze flickered to Ja'kal. "_Pet_ here were also part of the greeting party. Are you alright, my Lady?"

"I'm fine, yes, but Ja'kal-"

"Very well; our Lord has ordered that everybody return to the castle at once, to plan our next attack."

Serana bit her tongue before she complained about Garan's dismissive attitude towards the khajiit; she hoped the use of 'pet' and 'others' were hints that there may be more nosy ears nearby. She understood hierarchy, and in times past appreciated it since it saved her from meeting more unsavory vampires, but it stung to hear and see Ja'kal treated like this. If he didn't start standing up for himself, the court would just walk all over him like Ronthil and treat him like an actual fur rug instead.

Ja'kal was first to stand, and he offered his hand to help Serana up. She caught Garan's eyes as he looked over his shoulder, subtly shaking his head. She forced herself not to look at the khajiit when she rose, and it pained her greatly just to see how much more defeated his entire posture had fallen. She had to step away from him before he made any other overt moves towards her, and endangered himself in the process.

Hopefully Garan will help her find a pocket of time where she can explain this to Ja'kal, before he had gotten and believed all the wrong impressions.

Curse the bloody boot-licking vampire that returned to the castle. Serana still didn't know what she was supposed to do; she should've prioritized the Moth Priest. All she could do now was see what father intended to do next, and hoped she could act on whatever information he got faster than him.

**x - x - x**

Murmurs whirred in the court, and Serana did her best not to listen to them. Some were of the usual complaints about the sun, and drained thralls, and mundane tastes, and more political maneuvering. Some were mocking a certain khajiit, and many didn't care to do it behind Ja'kal's back. Those that did were still well within the khajiit's large hearing zone. His tail thrashed about in agitation as he kept to himself at the court table, and Serana watched from the shadows in the alcove above.

It wouldn't be long before he took off to escape outdoors and indulge in his lazier hobbies, free of prying eyes and irritating insults. Serana's gaze snapped to a woman that sauntered across the court floor and approached Ja'kal; there was something about her that Serana didn't like. As the khajiit looked up, though adorned with a new blindfold, Serana moved into a closer alcove so she was within range to eavesdrop.

"Good eve, new blood." The crisp poise accent chafed a nerve. "Do you mind if I sit beside you? You seem like someone who will let me enjoy my meal in silence."

"Ja'kal does not like silence." He said it innocently enough, and his blindfold should have been all the evidence needed for the other vampire to click in that: _of course _Ja'kal didn't like silence if he didn't see, it made perfect sense. Anyone could understand that. Apparently not the woman. She looked offended, and Serana's nails pinched her biceps when she folded her arms. It was about to become a battle of willpower, where all she could do was _nothing_ but watch. She's had plenty of practice these past few days, and it was torture.

"Well, then, you can listen to me eat," the woman grumbled, taking a seat beside him anyways. Serana narrowed her eyes; that vampire was watching Ja'kal too much for her liking. What was the real motive here?

"Ja'kal does not like the smell of spoiled meat. Fresh fish tastes much better than worms." He reached down to grab his chair, scooting farther away from the woman who's expression flared with contempt and indignation. Serana had to cover her mouth to muffle her chuckles. Poor Ja'kal, angering the entire court just by being _open_ with his thoughts and feelings in the way she reckoned nobody here was used to. As amusing as it was, his safety came first.

Serana made her way down to Feran and Ronthil, approaching the nervous wood elf with a strained smile. "L-Lady Serana, I bid you good evening. How may I serve you?"

Always so willing to help... He could be so much more. One day she hoped she could somehow help him back. For now, she had to brace herself to be the woman she loathed to be. "Fetch my pet for me, I require his assistance in my room at once."

Ronthil seemed to frown, almost, and then there was an eager glint in his eyes. "Perhaps I could also assist?"

"No thank you." She turned sharply and headed for her room so there was no room for argument. If he sought to elevate his station by serving someone higher in the court, and consequently dethrone Ja'kal from his 'position', then he thought wrong. She hoped that's what he meant to assist with, anyways. No doubt there would be rumors drawn from this if Ronthil dared wag his tongue.

Serana went upstairs and peeked down at court to make sure Ronthil did as asked, and was relieved to find and _hear _no underhanded moves were played. She smiled when Ja'kal's head turned close to her direction, his nose working; she left for her room, hoping he would track her by her scent. She couldn't afford too many overt looks or times she 'required' his 'assistance'. She had to warn him and teach him and pray he would learn to bite his tongue no matter how much he wanted to be honest.

Hopefully he wasn't going to fall asleep on her this time.

**x - x - x**

Yeah. Sleeping wasn't a concern.

Serana gasped when her table hit the back of her legs. Ja'kal swept all her books and alchemical ingredients off, and they both froze when they heard ceramic shatter.

"Did Ja'kal just break a vase more expensive than his fur?"

Serana peered over the edge and grimaced _for _him. He had, in fact, broken an old and _very_ expensive heirloom. She turned to him and loosely looped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer to distract him in case if he could sniff out her lie. "Don't worry, it was just my mortar and pestle. Plenty of those around the castle."

Who was she to care? Growing up, she spent more time exploring everywhere than her room. It was just a vase collecting centuries of dust. There were far more important priorities. Namely: Ja'kal kissing her neck, and the anxiety it provoked from deep within her. He was a bit rougher with his hands this time, and she sensed urgency, smelled _fear._

"Ja'kal," she framed his jaw and pushed him until she got a better look at his face, and his tail. She pushed his blindfold up, but he caught her wrist.

"This one smells wax. Lots of candles; it is very bright in here, no?"

Oh. Right. Serana looked up at the chandelier above, and snapped her fingers as she froze every candle in the room, one by one. Darkness blanketed the room, and all she could see was his outline until her eyes adjusted. She tucked her thumbs under his blindfold again and reassured as she pushed it up. "They're all extinguished now."

"Thank you," he smiled, and it grew when his eyes were freed. She cursed herself when his gaze veered offside the table, and she cupped his jaw, forcing him to look at her. "That did not look like a mor-"

"It was how ancient nords made them eras ago," she lied. They both stared blankly, and Ja'kal chuckled as he nuzzled his face in her hair, loosening her intricate braids _again._

"You are kind to worry about me so. Ja'kal is lucky to have you." His hands meandered up and down her sides, thumbs stroking just above her hips. His answer came before she even asked the question. "_I _am afraid, Serana. All this sneaking around..."

She knew what he meant, she sincerely did, but there was an opportunity that would be a tragic sin if she passed it up. She cleared her throat, though it was futile. She lost her courage to copy his accent before she even tried.

"Khajiit like to sneak, maneuvers silken and sleek."

Ja'kal's laughter boomed and echoed; she loved what the acoustics of the room did to it, and smiled with pride as he pulled away and heartily squeezed her shoulders. "The darkest corners we seek in the night." Mirth glinted in his milky eyes, and she noticed that it became easier to see things in them over time. How long would it take until he could see the world as she did? Perhaps as many years as he's had the disease. "It seems we must sing a new song: Serana like to sneak."

Hands wandered, and her heart was torn into two. She called him here because _priorities,_ because she wanted to see this khajiit everyday. She would intervene if there were any dangerous moves played within her presence, of course, but it had been far too long since she'd defended herself against political intrigue. There was more than one fatal way to destroy a life. Her mind screamed at her hands to push him away, but instead they rested on his chest, fingers tingling to feel his fur and skin rather than musty old robes that belonged to who knew whom.

Laces of her corset were undone one by one, pulled out by twining around his nimble finger. Their gaze never broke, and the words in her throat were trapped. She fought to force them out and croaked. "I didn't call you here for this, Ja'kal."

Ears drooped at that. He slowly pulled away with a sad smile. "Am I no longer wanted?"

"What? No. I mean yes. I mean..." She sucked in a sharp breath and shook her head at herself. "Of course you're wanted." Saying those words out loud struck something deep inside of her; a deeply seeded desire, but not one that beckoned carnal lust. She longed to hear them herself for as long as she could remember. She still did, and knew she never would. Validation; a daughter who felt wanted, for once, or at least to be treated like a daughter at all.

"Then this khajiit proves he belongs here, yes?" Ja'kal deftly lifted her by her waist and she yelped from the surprise, hoisted to sit on her table. Her cloak pooled below before she even thought to undo the clasp herself. He nuzzled her hair again and she tensed when he dipped to lick her neck, fangs gently scraping. She sought purchase in his robes, twisting the fabric until her fingers ached from the force. Her breath caught when she heard a rip, and she looked down in guilt at the fragile cotton robe. Ja'kal cupped her chin, thumbing her bottom lip to _earn_ her gaze back up on his. His tail sashayed mischievously behind his toothy smile, lilting cheerfully. "This one would not object if you ripped all of Ja'kal's clothes off."

Serana's cheeks threatened to flush from the suggestion, but, as with all unspoken challenges, she refused to go down so easily. She gnarled his collar in her fist and pulled him close as she smirked. "You're going to have to work a lot harder to get me to crack, Ja'kal. "

"Ja'kal does not need to work at all." He stepped back and stripped his robe off, left with an old tunic that might have been white, once. "This one learned you enjoy with your _eyes,_ as well as your ears. This one will always have words in his heart for you."

Serana bit the inside of her lip at that, but couldn't stop her smile. Ja'kal could be so sappy.

"And this one will always have words in his loins for you."

Apparently Ja'kal could also be quite naughty.

"Ja'kal knows Serana enjoys hearing both."

"Oh? That's some confidence. How do you know?" She arched her brow, ignoring the heat that sweltered at the base of her throat. She didn't have to look down to know that her chest had begun patching pink; if only she wore a different top. She reminded herself to _breathe_ when he came closer, his thumbs teasing the edges of her shoulders. They caught on the shirt and he pulled one side out, exposing her shoulder to his lips. A slow burn ignited in the pits of her belly as he paid loving attention in every kiss, his gaze fixated on hers the entire time he trailed across her shoulder, up her throat, and to her ear.

"Ever since we have been in this wretched place, Ja'kal focuses on your smell to block out the rest. This one has noticed when you are worried, watching over Ja'kal from the shadows and..." He worked his way down to the opposite shoulder, pulling her shirt out to the side to kiss it. She suppressed a shudder when his fangs scraped the crook of her nape, sending tingles down her spine. "This one has noticed when you are _wanting _Ja'kal in the shadows, thinking you are alone. This khajiit does not want to hide when that happens again."

Serana's breath hitched, and she hooked her hands on his shoulders to push him away and look at him. "So you were... Um... Here last night?"

She couldn't deny nor confirm what she was doing, because either way, it wouldn't help her right now.

"Oh yes," he confessed without a speck of shame, and though she expected him to be audacious over her own unintended _confession,_ he looked relieved instead. "Ja'kal was very happy to hear his name slip past your lips, and find out you still like him."

By the gods, this couldn't get worse.

"It was very hard not to come and replace your hand."

By the gods, this _could_ get worse.

Flustered, Serana pushed him further away. She'd been curious, yes, even hungry for just a taste of what intimacy and an _affectionate_ touch would feel like against her body; but she was also terrified of what that touch would feel like in her _mind._ She'd been burned, and she didn't want to disappoint or be disappointed. She tried to focus on something else entirely, to reaffirm and reassure his own fears, hoping she wouldn't have to give voice to hers.

"Of course I still like you, Ja'kal. That won't ever change. How we have to act in court is only to protect us, so the others won't attack you. It's not real. _This is._"

It brought a bright smile to his face.

"But next time you sneak into my room-"

"Ja'kal swears he did not know you were going to pleasure yourself; and the door is very creaky, so this one turned and tucked in the corner and did not watch. Ja'kal missed you very much and wanted to surprise you; khajiit like to sneak, yes? And this one wanted to touch you. Not like that. But Ja'kal was pleased that you touched yourself, thinking of him."

This was going downhill very, _very_ fast. Serana could handle his honesty, but not _this much_ honesty, and she swore her cheeks were alight on actual fire upon hearing him confirm that he did, in fact, know exactly what she was doing in here last night. In her defense, she was frustrated that she'd gone from spending every single second of the day with him, to chance meetings she could barely afford to arrange. That night, before Garan interrupted them, had sat on her mind every single second she wasn't with the khajiit.

Now that she was, she wanted nothing more than to run away.

Ja'kal gave her reasons to stay, instead, as he grabbed her hands and guided them to the hem of his tunic. His sinful smile sent a thrill through her. "Serana enjoys with her eyes and ears, yes? That will be no problem. Ja'kal can very easily please both. He has been eating a lot of fish for this day."

"A lot of..." Serana stared blankly, and then the laughter bubbled out of her mouth before she could think to stop it. "What does fish have to do with _this?_"

Oh, it hurt to hear his sullen mumble, his wounded pride. "Fish is good for shiny fur..." Ja'kal let go of her hands and rolled his tunic up to his stomach, carding his fingers through his fur. "That is how khajiit impress others," he twisted and waved his tail up to catch it by the end. "Especially if one is endowed with a long tail. One cursed with a short tail has a harder time when courting a mate." The tail end comically bounced left and right, and she fought so very hard to take him seriously when he looked at her that way. "Serana is impressed by Ja'kal's fur and tail, yes?"

"I'm _very_ impressed," she smirked, replacing _his_ hand with hers as she stroked up the ridges of his abdomen. "Impressive."

If only he knew that she wasn't exactly an expert on what constituted as impressive to the khajiit; never in her entire life had she even thought she'd ever get to _talk_ to the cat-folk of Elsweyr, much less be apparently courted by one. She couldn't stop her laughter when his tail end still danced about and leaned forward, catching his tunic to pull and claim his lips.

It was music to her ears when the shirt ripped this time.

"Just kiss me, Ja'kal," she whispered against his mouth, smiling. "I'll always want you no matter what you look like; because I want _you, _not your body."

"...But you also want this body too, yes? Ja'kal's loins have been waiting very patiently."

By the gods, when would this _stop_ getting worse?

That he even referred to his loins in third person was just... She couldn't. She laughed and laughed, hearing herself echo as the sounds rebounded off the walls, and was so sincerely thankful of the darkness that shrouded them. Hopefully the world was still very blue to Ja'kal, so he wouldn't see how very red her cheeks likely were.

"You're..." There was no way she was going to say _loins._ He would have to get her severely drunk or heavily medicated on the strongest potion before that word would ever slip past her lips. "You're just going to have to wait a little bit longer." She scooted to sit at the edge of the table as she pulled him, nipping the inside of her cheek when his pelvis came dangerously close to hers.

"But you do want Ja'kal's body, Serana?"

He wasn't going to let this question go no matter how obvious she avoided it. She knew that.

But hell if she wasn't going to try anyways.

"I want more than that."

Ja'kal growled in frustration, and his hands slid along the sides of her thighs. She gasped when his fingers curled in and sank in her rump, pulling her close against his body. Their hips collided and he suckled a spot on her neck, overwhelming with pleasurable tingles buzzing behind her eyes. She felt him harden when he'd pressed intimately, and just that pressure alone made her heart want to hammer out of her chest. How could she possibly hope to overcome this hurdle? What she imagined in her mind was completely different; she had composure and power in her thoughts, and now she felt like a frightened little girl. It aggravated her.

"Ja'kal learned last night that he enjoys with his ears as well, Serana," his accent lost it's lilting edge, grating as rough as rocks instead. "This one wants to hear what you thought of in your mind, in the dark. Ja'kal wants to hear what pleases you most, to hear what made you cry out this one's name."

That, she couldn't do. She would rather say _loins_ than admit what she thought of last night.

"It drove this one mad when he was too far away to touch you; but now that you are _so close..._ It hurts. _I_ need to touch you, Serana. Can I?" He pulled the corset off her torso and discarded it without a care, sneaking his hand under her shirt. "At least your stomach. Is this okay for now?"

For now.

It refused to come out of her mouth. She couldn't force the words out, and so nodded subtly. Her heart chipped it's way up her throat, and anxiety began to brew again. Ja'kal, impatient as he almost always was, still managed to slow down somewhat; his nose moved furiously, and then he stopped touching her altogether. He pulled away with his ears flattened forward, a guilty look sprawling across his face.

"Ja'kal is sorry." He bowed his head. "This one did not mean to pressure and frighten you. Ja'kal is just very eager to please you and is happy when he does."

"You don't have to do anything for me, your company alone is pleasing," she rasped weakly; a prick burrowed in her throat, and every time she swallowed, it was like a bug was trapped inside. She cleared her throat, still stuck with a meager whisper. "Sorry, but can you get me some water? There should be a silver jug here somewhere, maybe beside my bed. You can see better than me right now."

That was the excuse she was going to go with anyways. She let out a small sigh of relief when he'd left and searched her room for a jug. It was almost startling how much larger than life he really was after all, for his presence was slightly overbearing whenever he'd gotten swept up by his emotions.

Serana chewed her lip. She looked down at herself and fixed her shirt, pulling the corner over her shoulder again. The pits of her belly still _burned,_ despite the fear, and frustration slowly welled up, tangling and festering like an infection. It spread everywhere until she could no longer contain it, or contain herself.

"You... Probably already know I'm afraid, huh...? Do you know why, Ja'kal?"

Something crashed, and she looked over in time to see the khajiit falling on her bed. He cursed in his tongue, something about dark moons, and she smiled when it was all directed at her jug, as if it was a thing that was alive. It made talking about his _loins_ a little less awkward, at least. He pushed himself up on her bed, and watching him gave her _terrible_ thoughts that was sure to torment her for more nights to come.

"Ja'kal thinks the last who touched you was a wafiit; _i__diot._ But this khajiit is no wafiit. I will touch you like I am worshiping a god, because you are a goddess."

It was endearing, she would give him that; his way with words still caught her off guard sometimes. She smiled sadly and looked down at her feet, kicking them against the table. She worried and nibbled on her tongue, wondering if she should tell him the story or not. She wasn't quite ready for _that_ either, nor did she want to relive it all. She wanted to close that chapter of her life already; but maybe airing it out would give the closure she needed.

"Dras, da'khe." Ja'kal returned with the jug of water and set it on the table beside her, surprising her with just how quiet and quick he could move. Her mind took that observation to _places,_ and out of desperation, she chugged from the jug itself. It spilled from her chin and dribbled off, hitting her chest. She emptied the jug before she knew it and, embarrassed by how ungraceful she was, raced to wipe her mouth with her sleeve. She was stopped when Ja'kal grabbed her wrist, capturing her lips in a soft kiss. He licked the water off and paved a path down. Her heart pounded against his mouth when he'd kissed his way down to her chest, collecting the drops of water with his tongue along the way.

"Ja... Kal..." Serana didn't know what else to say, frozen stiff. One part of her mind begged her to run away, the other begged him to do _more._ The warm sensation of his lips against her skin, so close to her breasts, had riveted her squarely in limbo. Her nerves jumped when his tongue dipped in between her breasts, gliding up and over the top curve of one. This felt absolutely heavenly and nauseating at the same time; or the fear had, anyways.

And then he pulled away with a sinful smile.

"Since you also have not objected to being teased... Ja'kal will give you space to relax and think now. No more pressure. Only _pleasure._"

"W-what...?" Her mind just simply was not equipped to process anything right now. She couldn't even comprehend the part that he was actually _leaving._

"Vari aydith, Serana; _sweet dreams._" He hadn't bothered to take his robes as he slithered to the exit, and they both grimaced when the door creaked deafeningly loud. It was no wonder he didn't dare leave last night; and now here he was, leaving her alone on purpose after what he'd just done.

One thing was certain. Her dreams weren't going to be vari...

But _zaji._

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

Sorry for the brief break over the weekend and for tormenting us like this, but I feel like it would be a disservice to Serana for her to just jump into intimacy without a bit of coaxing as she tries to come to terms with what she survived in the past (glaringly depressing hint: Molag Bal ritual). It might be some time before we get to heavier NSFW, but hopefully this little teasing game of theirs is going to be just as fun in the mean time ;) Thanks again to all supporters and reviewers, I appreciate it a lot that you're taking time to reach out to me! See you in the next chapter :)

_**Translation**_

_Jer vara zira zaji -_ you are very sexy

_Tarmo - _old

_Halki - _moldy

_Wafiit - _idiot

_Dras - _(casual) hey/hi, yo

_Da'khe - _water

_Vari aydith -_ sweet dreams


	16. Let the Games Begin

_**Chapter 16: Let the Games Begin**_

* * *

This game they played? This sneaking in the shadows, stealing touches, hands brushing, teasing endlessly?

It sucked. _Very_ much so. Serana learned that the hard way, _everyday._

Dreams haven't feared going beyond the imaginable, tormenting her with _ideas._ Ideas she shan't ever expose nor confess; she would take them to her grave. She was thrice more paranoid now; move with the quietest feet, make every fool on the streets paranoid. Damn song. It reminded her to stare long and hard over every shadow she crossed if she did not see the khajiit anywhere in court or outside.

Priorities. _Priorities._ She should be thinking about the Moth Priest, and the Dawnguard, and Dra'kul, and Ja'kal.

Wait. No. Ja'kal was the source of all her problems right now. No matter what, under absolutely **zero** circumstances, should she prioritize Ja'kal at any point in time. She would only doom herself with these conflicting thoughts and desires, and would surely find herself in his cruel company soon enough, if she didn't seek it sooner.

Serana pushed herself out of bed. The day hadn't even started, and she was already grumbling about that damn khajiit. Stout in her new habits, she inspected every shadow of her room as inconspicuously as possible, rolling out of her spacious bed to stretch her arms above her head. She smiled when she caught wind of a subtle sharp inhale. He _was _here.

Let the games begin.

Every movement was casual and erring on clumsy; she'd always thought being graceful was something that was more appealing, as it was to her, but apparently not so to Ja'kal. She was sure her hair had taken on new angles, ruffled to an untamed degree every evening she awoke. A look down _horrified_ her; her night clothes looked like the wrinkles had a nightmare. She trudged over to her dresser and 'accidentally' stubbed her toe, groaning. She clutched the ledge and let her head hang forward so that her hair obscured her eyes, but nothing jumped out at her. Finding out where he hid was always her greatest challenge.

Which, by the way, how the hell did he even sneak in here with her creaky door? That should've roused all the dead and undead.

Priorities. She must remain focused, or she would lose today's contest the moment he pounced on her. She took her sweet time rummaging through her drawer for fresh clothes, smirking when she'd taken a set from the very bottom; _tarmo_ and _halki,_ enough to torment him back for when he would need to fight past his nose in order to approach her.

Time ticked agonizingly slow, slower than her undoing the laces of her nightshirt one by one. She anticipated him to come after she changed, though, perhaps giving her privacy to do so without prying eyes. Just the thought of his gaze roving over her body had been enough to get her heart racing a touch faster; she couldn't tell if she had wanted him to watch or not. It felt so... _Dirty. _And thrilling.

But as the last of the laces hit the floor, a hand came upon her hip. She smirked, never twisting to look behind her, and blindly reached over her shoulder until she hooked around Ja'kal's neck. His whisper seeped through her thick tresses, warming her skin with his breath. "_Do oonpal, Serana-ro._"

"Good morning, Ja'kal."

Nevermind the actual semantics of it all, with it being the evening.

"Ja'kal likes to watch you wake up, it never gets old."

"I've noticed," she quipped dryly, nibbling the inside of her lip when his hand snuck under the long night shirt, thumb stroking over the jutting bone of her hip. His other arm curled around and cupped her chin, gently encouraging her to turn enough for him to claim her lips. When his pelvis pressed against her rump, the embers in her belly stirred to life, promising a wildfire that would consume her and force her to war for control and responsibility.

"This one brought something for you, to help you wake up." He drew her closer to him as he conformed to her back, pushing her against the drawer. She smirked lazily when it dug into her thighs, as he dug into her, and she suspected that whatever he brought pertained to the _phenomenon_ growing against her.

Every time they waged this slow and brutal war, his hands became bolder, and so did she. She held his head as he bowed and lavished her neck with lazy kisses, idly scratching and combing her fingers through his fur. He twisted her around and she lulled her head back to expose her neck, shuddering when whiskers tickled and a long tongue curled around the front of her throat. His weight guided her to walk backwards to her bed, and her heart rose ever higher when they fell on it.

Pressure mounted, literally and figuratively, and she was grateful when he rolled them until he was the one beneath her. He stretched out his hands and she twined their fingers, balancing herself as she adjusted to straddle him more comfortably. The warm look in his eyes, rife with eagerness, begun to be less scary each day. That she even saw warmth in them at all was already a huge leap forward; _proof_ that he would someday be able to see her again without consequences, nor missing a single moment.

"So what have you brought to wake me up?"

Ja'kal grinned mischievously. "_Me. _You are welcome."

Oh. Yeah. Well. "It worked." She playfully punched his arm. "Thanks _so _much." Serana chuckled just seeing what the affirmation did to his voracious spirit, boundless with enthusiasm and energy. She lowered with his help as he stretched their arms above his head, though she kept her rump square in the air so as not to tease him. _Not yet._ Her hair fell forward and he blew it out of his eyes, only tempting her own impish side as she deliberately swung her bangs over his eyes. He retaliated by _biting_ on them, and she laughed. "What are you doing?"

"Eating your hair," he replied casually, and her eyes widened in panic when she felt her bangs wriggle about as his jaw moved. She tried to pull away, and it was his turn to laugh, catching her wrists the moment she summoned sparks to her fingers. "Wait, wait, urada, Serana. Ja'kal is not actually eating."

"Better not," she huffed with a smile, but it soon fell when he let go. She sat up straight, resting on him, and grimaced when she raked her hand through wet bangs. "Eugh, Ja'kal... Did you really have to do this?"

"You asked for it," he shrugged, and she yelped when he suddenly shot up to grab her waist, rolling them again until he was the one on top. He nudged his forehead against her hair. "Ja'kal will dry you with his shiny fur."

Serana laughed at the insanity of it all, trying to push him away by the chest. He rubbed furiously, and all it did was get his own saliva all over his fur too. She turned sharply and ducked out the side, off the bed, jogging over towards the stone tub in the corner. There was another idea for another day. For now, she grabbed one of the towels and dried off her hair, turning and sticking her tongue out at him when he did the same. His mouth opened, probably to say more silly things, but it promptly shut soon enough.

Knocks alerted them. Serana shooed away with her hand, pointing at the door that led to broken battlements. Ja'kal scrambled for her _drawer_ first, and she watched in helpless horror as he helped himself to a pair of _smalls_, ripping it with his fangs so that he could tie it around his eyes.

There was an image she was never going to get out of her head for eras to come.

"Lady Serana? Are you in there?"

Garan. Garan wasn't so bad, but he had been much more distant towards her since they returned to the castle. The dirty looks he shot at Ja'kal didn't go unnoticed.

"Yes I am, one moment, I'm getting dressed!" She called out, looking over her shoulder to make sure Ja'kal has gone outside. Hopefully it would be enough. She tore through her dresser and wrestled on the first clothes she could find, abandoning her night clothes on the bed. She rushed to the vanity and brushed her hair, grabbing a couple strands to start braiding as she turned for the door. "You may come in, Garan."

Creaks shot out and she cringed, half tempted to freeze the hellish door. Garan's eyes were wide, riveted to the hinges, and he stepped in with an apologetic look. "I will fetch Ronthil to fix that at once, my Lady."

"That's not necessary, I'm sure he has other priorities."

Garan clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth and smiled, shaking his head. "Nonsense. I insist. A lady of your stature deserves nothing but the best." He reluctantly closed the door, eyeing what was in disarray in the room. Namely: the broken vase Serana still hadn't bothered cleaning up. The dunmer sighed. "My Lady, I wish you would arrange tasks for your servants as often as you arrange meetings for your _pet._"

That rubbed her the wrong way, and she crossed her arms; damn the braids. "I don't appreciate your attitude about Ja'kal. You know he's more than that to me."

"Yes, unfortunately, despite my warnings; this is most foolish of you." Garan pinched the bridge of his nose, shoulders dropping with a sigh. "I've tolerated it only because I thought it was a momentary diversion that would pass, but you of all people should know that these meetings must desist. The court is starting to take notice."

"What? I barely see him as is," Serana frowned, narrowing her eyes when the dunmer's weary gaze snapped to hers. "It's not the court who's noticed."

"Precisely." Garan folded his wrists behind him, approaching her bed as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. So he did smell Ja'kal. "Lord Harkon has ordered-"

"I don't care what my father ordered, Garan, especially because I know Ja'kal is not the reason father's suddenly remembered he has a daughter."

"Lady Serana, please, I am only looking out for your interests."

"I've stated what I am interested in, and the lack of interest I have in father's orders."

"Come to your senses! Lord Harkon has grown in power, and nobody has ever defied him openly."

"Yeah, well, he's going to have to get used to it now, and I'm not going to resort to petty politics like Vingalmo and Orthjolf. Father's 'authority' means nothing to me." Because Serana meant nothing to him. It infuriated her beyond belief that her father had even tried to impose such ridiculous 'orders' on her at all. What was his angle, his game? There had to be something more to this if Harkon apparently perceived Ja'kal as some sort of threat.

"If you defy our Lord, your pet dies as _your_ punishment. You know very well Lord Harkon would not hesitate." Garan ripped off one of the sheets and twisted it around his arm. Within seconds, it disintegrated before her eyes, and his gaze came down on her sternly. "I have been ordered to purge your pet should you refuse to cease relations and evict him. Do not think I do not know where he is, Lady Serana; I will warn you only this once, and I will not be so charitable if I see him again. Get your pet out of here." He strode for the door, and the words were trapped in Serana's throat. Her bravado blustered at the intimidating aura Garan emitted to show that he was a man of his word.

But something slipped out of his pocket.

Garan opened the door, slipping out just as quickly when his gaze fell to the paper that sashayed in the air, and the last thing Serana saw was his smirk. She immediately picked up the paper and unfolded it, heart stopping. She scrambled to pack as many things she could fit in her traveling knapsack, and rushed for the battlements to grab Ja'kal, _map_ in hand.

**x - x - x**

"Next time, Ja'kal is jumping off the boat and drowning instead," the khajiit grumbled sullenly, tail and ears drooped lethargically, conveying illness. She only knew that thanks to him keeling over and puking; motion sickness was apparently a far worse foe than court politics to him.

"We can't slow down, come on." Serana took his hand and tried to drag him, but he rooted down in his spot. He grinned, and his eyebrows bounced playfully, and she rolled her eyes; she used _his_ hand to smack it over his mouth when he leaned down to kiss her. "Focus, Ja'kal. We _have_ to go to the Rift region and find Stendarr's Beacon near the Morrowind border." She took out the map, finger following the path towards the fort. "Then from there we go... Here. The Dayspring Canyon; that's where Fort Dawnguard, the Moth Priest and your brother are."

Ja'kal immediately pulled away with a frown. She thought he'd be happy. "_No,_" he hissed, "Dra'kul did not try to stop them from killing us. They will try again."

"I won't let them. If we approach them with information about the elder scroll and why we were after the Moth Priest, then if they have any sense, they'll listen to us."

For some reason he just stood there. She looked up at the sky, but the sun was still setting, so she couldn't take his blindfold off. Her _underwear._ Where was his actual blindfold? Priorities. She had broken every single circumstance because of this khajiit, and the clock was ticking now.

"Ja'kal?"

"Yes?"

"Um... Did you hear me, or...?" A suspicion struck, and she narrowed her eyes to watch him carefully. "You're not already _napping,_ are you?" As soon as he opened his mouth, the corner of it tugged in a smirk, she placed a finger on his lips to shush him. "Even if you blame the boat, I'm not falling for it." Serana smiled, strained, swallowing a spike of irritation. The pressure was on. The fate of vampires was at stake, _their lives_ were at stake, and all of Tamriel was at stake.

Besides, they didn't take his pack, where a majority of their camping supplies were stashed. He couldn't possibly be comfortable sleeping on _dirt,_ right?

"Can you please take this seriously for once?" Serana blurted, and it was as if she had opened the floodgates for the water to come rushing through. "I understand you want to enjoy life and have fun and explore, and I do too, but... But we can't do that if we _keep_ doing that."

"We cannot?" Ja'kal muffled, then took her finger in his mouth and sucked. It did _things_ to her and she hastily pulled away, her aggravation burning ever hotter. His chuckles was tinder for the fire, and she stormed off with a huff. The khajiit chased after her and grabbed her hand, pulling her hard enough for her to spin and crash into him. His hand snaked to the small of her back and locked around her waist. She could have easily overpowered him, being a far older and more experienced vampire, but she froze when he rested their foreheads together.

"Ja'kal, we have to move..."

Ja'kal squeezed her waist. "There. Ja'kal moved."

Gods above, he really knew how to drive her crazy. She wished he would just be a touch bit more responsible, or wanting to see his brother again, or _something._ Why didn't he want to see Dra'kul? There had to be a reason why he suddenly turned around, or hadn't tried to understand his brother's side of things, or hadn't thought to persuade Dra'kul to hear them out as Serana believed she could do.

Did Ja'kal know something she didn't?

"We-"

"Ja'kal does not want you to get hurt because of this one again. Please do not go, Serana."

"Hurt...?" Her forehead creased in confusion, searching her memory for answers; it hit her, and she almost completely forgot about her leg in the first place. It wasn't a serious wound by any means. She suffered worse. He was the one that suffered far more severe injuries, and he must have still been aching if she could feel the tightness in the muscle belly of where the gash once was. "I won't get hurt, Ja'kal, _we _won't get hurt. I promise you; I can be quite persuasive."

Ja'kal only held her tighter with no signs of letting go. His chin nuzzled her temple, tickling her skin with his unruly fur. Her entire body shook when he sighed heavily. "Okay. Ja'kal will take this seriously for once."

_Yes! _Victory! Persuasion: 1, stubborn and lazy cat: 0.

He pulled away, smiling down at her. He squeezed her shoulders and patted them and for some reason, she was suspicious of something again.

And, in the blink of an eye, he sprawled on the damn ground.

"But after a nap, Serana-arina!" He could, very possibly in fact, be comfortable sleeping on dirt.

"Oh, come on!" Wait, what did he just call her? "Didn't you take one or two or _fifteen_ in my room?"

"Not one." She found that **impossible** to believe. "Ja'kal likes to watch you wake up _and_ sleep. This one is very happy to hear his name on your lips when you dream."

...Stubborn, lazy, romantic cat: 1.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Thanks Tactus I'm very relieved you've enjoyed it at all, especially to that degree! Thank you for your humbling reviews and support everyone, and special shout out to Demon420 for always taking a minute to reach out with your encouragement! Appreciate it mate, cheers! If anyone has constructive criticism on how I can improve my writing (except longer chapters since I'm stuck typing on the mobile app), then I'm all ears.  
_

_I hope that Ja'kal having the flaws that he has hasn't been too off-putting. Serana has a hell of a time helping him mature and find his sense of duty, because I think it's safe to say that as it stands now, Skyrim is screwed with their current dragonborn lol. Poor Serana, she's going to be an expert negotiator by the time she has to drag the lazy cat's ass up to the greybeards :P See you all in the next chapter!  
_

_**Translation **_

_Tarmo - _old

_Halki - _moldy

_Do oonpal - _good morning

_Urada - _sorry

_Ari - _love (verb)

_Arina - _love (noun)


	17. A Reason to Breathe

_**Chapter 17: A Reason to Breathe  
**_

* * *

Every purr made Serana bite the flesh of her cheek to stop herself from smiling; why she tried, she didn't know, but it didn't stop her. She _lowered_ her eyes from her book and relaxed back against the tree trunk, watching the khajiit that nuzzled her stomach.

Pretty sure that wet feeling was drool.

Fur tickled her fingers before her mind caught up with what she was doing, idly stroking through Ja'kal's short mane. _Mane?_ Serana tore away from her book to sate a new curiosity, putting it aside as she studied the furry fur growing on top of fur. How in the world did khajiit hair even work? This question _must_ be answered somewhere in her books. She smirked to herself when she had combed it, remembering _very_ vividly when Ja'kal protested such a notion, the day an initiated creature of the night opened his eyes for the first time.

Rumbles vibrated, low and soft, whining slightly in what sounded like it was in the back of the khajiit's throat. It enabled mischief, and she struggled not to wake Ja'kal up just so that she could tease how she was combing him like a _house cat. _At least it was nice that his pride didn't seem... Serious? If that was a thing. He wasn't lost and absorbed in it. Pride wouldn't manipulate him the way it did her family, or any vampire for that matter.

Was she just putting Ja'kal on a pedestal though? Was she blinded by her wishes the way her father was blinded by the prophecy?

Doubts stormed the gates before she could think to stop them, and she worried her lip as she tried to distract herself, casually braiding strands of Ja'kal's hair. Mane. Whatever in the world khajiit called it. She knew how _Ja'kal _would call it though, and that brought a small smile, pushing the darkness away.

She needed more.

"Ja'kal," she whispered as she nudged him, cringing when his arms tightened around her waist even more. She tapped his shoulders and chuckled when he nuzzled his face firmly into her stomach. "I know you're awake now."

"You are imagining things."

"Uh huh. Sure I am. Guess I've got a pretty vivid imagination." Serana brushed her hair behind her ears as she hunched over as much as she could, planting a kiss between his ears, on top of his new braids. She couldn't wait to see his reaction to them. A smirk tugged no matter how much she fought to suppress it, but the lazy cat had a natural talent for it; and yet he did nothing to cause it. It was easy with him, easy to _be_ with him.

"Do oonpal," she murmured, lingering to kiss longer. His ears flicked and brushed along the sides of her jawbone. He pried away from her, clearly in no rush, and slithered up along her body until he made her uncurl and lean against the tree. Her head tilted without thought, a new instinct and habit she slowly found endearing rather than unnerving, and smiled when whiskers tickled her skin; their own little greeting. Ja'kal's hand slipped behind her neck and he kissed her slowly, stirring carnal desire in the pits of her belly when his tongue snuck past her lips.

_Khajiit like to sneak. _

Oh, hell. That was going to be stuck in her head for a couple eras, wasn't it?

Ja'kal tugged upwards and they rose carefully, their mouths never separating as she hung and pulled on his shirt to stay against her mouth. She glimpsed sideways to try and gauge the intensity of light beaming through the slivers of the forest's trees. The sun still seemed to up, but setting; a dull glow was cast down, twining with sticky humidity, and she was ever so grateful that the khajiit's penchant for water granted him the keen sense of ferreting it out.

Mischief burst in a flash the moment Serana caught a slight whine buzzing against her lips, and Ja'kal pulled away to pant. He tugged her insistently, nigh dragging her a second later with a sense of urgency. It would have worried her had he not kept scratching himself, grumbling. "It is so hot here, Ja'kal almost misses the snow."

"You must be suffocating in your own... Fur." Serana's mind caught up with that, and she cocked her head in a mix of curious realization. "You can't cool down the way I do."

"Ja'kal does not know how humans cool down, but khajiit must swim or lick their fur. This one does not like to lick."

There was an image.

"Why not?" Why Serana had even asked such an unreasonable question baffled even her. She wouldn't want to lick fur, not when she couldn't even stand the taste of her hair flying into her mouth. She could only imagine what it was like to lick fur and what _had_ to be a gross feeling of saliva-coated fur.

"Because Ja'kal is no house cat." The way he sounded so _offended,_ and had even looked at her, despite the blindfold, set her in stitches. And gave her an idea.

"Are you sure? You have pretty good memory. I'm certain you remember the time I-"

"_Tsk!_" Ja'kal clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth and let her go, grabbing a tree trunk instead to spin around and crash into her from behind. "Serana-ro enjoys being mean, teasing this khajiit and rubbing it in. Well..." He held her by her hips and pushed her forward, his tail slithered around her knee. He nuzzled her hair, snout and hot breaths pressed to her ear. The sensation sent a thrill through her, but she was a little preoccupied with trying _not_ to fall over.

"Ja'kal will show you this one is no house cat; this one is a lion," he purred. "Serana also has good memory, yes? Third rule, I will explain in _great_ detail, in which I am certain you will remember the time once our loins meet, when I will make love to you."

Well, that was unexpected.

And another image.

"Meeting together, like going to a tavern for drinks?" She knew what he meant, she did. She'd surprised herself with the words that tumbled out of her mouth with nary a hint that he was well on his way to flustering her with such bold honesty. Serana still didn't quite know how to react to it sometimes, but she knew very well how her body reacted to it. Every single tingle shot down to feed the flame growing in her belly, and she was relieved to be pushed into a small clearing, where a pond waited for them.

"No, meeting together like this; Ja'kal can tease and rub it in too." Ja'kal turned her by her hips and his hands slid down the sides of her thighs, curling around until he lifted her. She hissed when her back slammed against a tree, her legs spread as he pushed his hips between. Electricity shot through her body the moment the _phenomenon _pressed against her most intimate parts, and she clung to his shoulders for dear life when he nudged her hair away with his snout, kissing her neck.

And then let her down, leaving her behind as he stripped down to his loin cloth and dove into the water.

"Wha..." Serana stared, jaw dropping. There was an undeniable _ache_ between her legs, a hunger that gnawed at her far worse than any craving for blood or food.

Ja'kal resurfaced, pushing the drenched blindfold up to rest upon his brows; he kept his eyes closed, and his mouth open in a fangful grin. "Ja'kal wins contest today."

She grabbed a handful of twigs and threw it at him.

**x - x - x**

Oh, she was _steaming._ It was one thing to be teased, but it was another thing to be _taunted._ Their spirit for competition greatly outweighed their spirit for cooperation. The second the sun set, and the blindfold was no longer needed, Serana decided to take matters into her own hands after she returned to the pond with their hobble-cobbled gear. And book.

Ja'kal's legs were submerged as he laid by the edge of the shoreline, his hands folded behind his head, an unashamed smirk still plastered all over his face. She was going to wipe it off in a minute and take great pleasure in it. It had taken precious days, at Volkihar castle, of this torturous teasing game to finally work up the courage to deliberately strip and _know_ his eyes were going to rove over her body. She was ready. She was _born_ ready. She was going to be the winner of today's unofficial contest, the champion of the night.

"Keep your ears and nose peeled for anyone that might be coming our way, Ja'kal, I don't want any surprises while I'm bathing." She mentioned as casually as possible, speaking over her shoulder as she turned until her back faced him. There was a nauseating rush gripping her stomach just at the notion and realization of what she was about to do, but she tried to put it to the back of her mind so that he wouldn't _smell_ it.

Laces hit the ground in silence, and she could feel eyes burning into her back as she relinquished herself of her cloak and corset. A sharp inhale rang loud and clear when she had pulled her red tunic overhead, stripping down to her small clothes with utmost reluctance, but it was worth it.

Yes. Victory was hers. He just didn't know it yet, but she would _make sure_ he would.

"Ja'kal? Are you listening, or are you napping _again?_" She fought to keep a smirk off her face as she threw a playful scowl over her shoulder, quelling the thoughts that started screaming the moment she saw the screaming in his eyes.

"N-not napping," he nearly squeaked, his voice hitching, sounding nasally with his accent. It took everything she had not to laugh. A sense of pride welled up in her when his gaze seemed fixated on her back alone, and she looked back down at herself to continue undressing as if she hadn't the faintest clue of what she was doing to him.

She knew that he knew she knew _exactly_ what she was doing to him, but it was always more fun this way.

"Serush," he breathed as if he were in complete awe, and it did weird things to her inside. She smiled, abashed, knowing what he said for he'd uttered it before: _beautiful._ She heard water pitter patter as feet slapped at it and looked over, feeling a jolt of anxiety when he made his way to her. There was lust, yes, but there was an abundance of affection that she still wasn't used to seeing. She chuckled a little when he'd stopped and bounced his eyebrows playfully, holding his arms out. "You are blurry, standing so far, and this one wants to remember everything. You do not need to be afraid, Ja'kal is unarmed."

"I can see that," she quipped dryly, trying not to let her gaze wander down to the loin cloth that still had to yet to dry, clinging to a most elusive bulge.

The stuff of _nightmares._

"Serana agrees that Ja'kal can come closer, yes?"

"_Serana_ didn't exactly agr-"

"Ja'kal is coming closer now!"

Was there a point to arguing with a stubborn cat that did what he very well pleased, regardless? His cheerful demeanor was just as hard to argue with, and she crossed her arms as she tried to give a most intimidating look that one could hope to pull off, half-naked. Her warning, naturally, went ignored. She struggled not to react aggressively when he reached towards her, her mind and heart immediately set for war as to whether she did trust him or not. It simmered when he squeezed her shoulders and grinned.

"Serushna. Can you guess what that means?"

Curiosity piqued and forced anxiety back down from her chest to her stomach for a second. It was all that was needed, a second and a second chance to change the outcome of the next. She looked at one of the hands on her shoulders, still damp, watching slick fur glisten from the ambient light that slipped through the foliage. "I know serush means beautiful," she murmured; saying the word was less awkward than hearing it. Directing it at something was better than it being directed at her.

"Serushna, Serana."

There he went again, playing with words, drawing out the syllables as he rolled the r in her name.

"It means _beauty._ You are the definition of it." He withdrew his hands and held them up on each side of his head, fingers wiggling as if to show he was of no threat. That was put to the test when he took a step closer and leaned down, kissing her bare shoulder, his eyes on hers the entire time. She felt weird for having crossed her arms and let them drop, though paid no mind to the awkwardness as she watched him like a hawk. He clasped his hands behind him, and like an utter fool, trailed kisses down until he got on his knees to reach her hand. It dragged a chuckle out of her.

"Now you're being foolish, Ja'kal."

"Foolishly shabar ari."

Something _love._ She deduced what it could have possibly meant, foolishly and love, foolishly _in_ love, and the notion alone made her heart squirm and wriggle inside. Ja'kal scooped up her hand and kissed it, then trailed back up her arm until he'd paid tender attention to her shoulder, and switched. She didn't know what to do, what to _give,_ but the screaming inside wouldn't stop as she felt just as awkward not knowing how to _receive; _the compliments, the honesty, the affection, the passion.

Everything was uncharted territory. Bring her to the darkness and she could be the designated navigator, all routes engraved to memory. Now lips paved a route on her. The intensity of the khajiit's feelings frightened her, to be honest, and his brand of ferocious honesty was borderline nightmarish.

It was terrifying, what he was helping her work the courage up to. He was terrifying. The notion and the act was terrifying. This whole situation, and the teasing, and the contests... All of it gave her nightmares a run for it's coin. Her breath hitched when he'd kissed across her collarbones, then went back down on his knees to kiss her stomach. Her fingers tangled in his short mane and gnarled until he grunted, but she never relented, undoing the braids. She'll fix them another day. Her nails dug and she closed her eyes, trying to convince her heart not to leap out of her throat.

"Ja'kal is unarmed," he reminded her, but the scrape of his fangs beside her navel persuaded otherwise. She gently pushed him away and braced herself for the hurt look, especially when his gaze snapped up to her and stared in silence. He rose quietly, his hands falling to his sides. She couldn't meet his eyes.

"I'm not ready."

"Ja'kal knows."

Serana frowned at that and looked up at him. "Then why do you keep trying when you know nothing is going to come out of it?"

"Because this one hopes he is helping you to work up the courage to be ready to face your fear, someday. If we do not bother to challenge fear, how do we learn how to beat it? That is what you taught me, with the boat, and... With something else, now." Another fear? She never noticed one. "Serana already told Ja'kal she is not ready when this one confessed he wanted to die." He reached for her hand, tentatively squeezing her fingers, and she broke her gaze to stare at their hands. "Ja'kal still understands. This one will still always be here, and when you are ready, we will still face it together."

Word for word, his memory was impeccable when he _wanted_ it to be. She had a feeling any time he forgot something, he was lying through his fangs.

"You are afraid, Serana, yes. That is okay. This one hopes you find it is also okay that Ja'kal is afraid too."

"I find that hard to believe," she joked quietly as she gave it a try, and squeezed his fingers in hers. It was inconceivable, this hand-holding... Thing. Habit. It was safe to start this habit, right? Do vampires even possess the capacity to love, or is this all the byproduct of carnal lust? It was almost baffling how something so laughably simple could instigate so many complicated thoughts and feelings. Ja'kal cupped her chin and guided her to meet his eyes, a cheerful smile plastered all over his face. It didn't belong, considering how they were both nearly naked.

Or maybe that was the reason it did belong.

"I am afraid, I promise, Serana." He used _I_ more often now. Why? "I have no idea what to do with you. Your skin feels strange to touch, to kiss. To taste. To smell."

"Are you implying what I think you're implying?" Serana smirked when he grinned mischievously, nodding. She laughed and punched his shoulder, twisting away to head into the pond. He didn't let her as he kept them linked through their hands, roughly pulling her until she crashed back into him. She froze when his arm snaked around her, lean muscles and drying fur brushing her skin; peculiar sensations she didn't think she would ever get used to. She suppressed a shudder when blunt nails accidentally scratched across the small of her back, sending a wave of tingles to reignite the simmering embers in her belly as the dullness of pain betrayed another fact: he pared his claws again. Why give up his only weapon just for the sake of touching her? Survival should be prioritized, not sentiment.

"You already know how strongly I feel about you," he whispered, kissing and lingering on her forehead.

Yes, she did know how strongly he felt. There was a part of her that wondered why these feelings came so easily to him, but so muddled to her. She had so many conflicting thoughts and desires; to this day, she still didn't know whether the intimacy of _turning_ Ja'kal had something to do with the intensity of his emotions. She preferred not to think of it. She couldn't change it now, nor could she change the way she felt about him.

Maybe they were both affected subconsciously, but not by the _turning._

Warm breaths seeped into her skin, the movement of his lips like a rhythmic lullaby. "I am afraid of disappointing you." He wrapped his other arm around her and drew her into a tight hug, awkwardly squishing her mouth against his chest, stopping her from protesting. "I know you will say I will not, just as you know I will say I will not hurt you, but time is what we need to believe these scary things are not scary to the other, and maybe not scary at all, yes? Time, and to keep trying again and again; until it is as normal as breathing. We are not afraid of breathing, yes?"

Unable to respond, Serana used it as the perfect cover not to talk anyways. She reflected on his words and closed her eyes, marveling at the feeling and warmth of his body wrapped around hers. She nodded; a safe enough answer, even though her breath was trapped in her chest. She focused on getting it out, establishing a rhythm. Fingers gently combed through the back of her hair, pressing her head directly against him, and she nearly backpedaled in surprise.

His heart hammered as hard and fast as hers.

He _was_ afraid.

Maybe what she was scared of wasn't so scary, then, as his fear wasn't so scary to her. She smiled, coaxing her fingers through his thick fur until it easily parted, revealing a scar. She trailed the line with the pad of her thumb, feeling the raised skin as it ran from his sternum to his shoulder; the wound that _ended_ his life, and marked the birth of a new undead among the nobility of Volkihar. He never showed any signs of fear of it, of being _turned,_ and here they were, horrified by something trivial in comparison.

Laughter skipped in her chest. She beamed a bright smile when he pulled away, eyebrow arched in confusion, and she took his hands in hers. The devil inside, her inner sinner, came out to play as she lead them into the pond until they were waist deep. She framed his jaw and angled her head until his snout covered as much of the contour of her nose as possible.

"We are not afraid of breathing, yes," she murmured, claiming his lips to prove the point to _both_ of their doubtful minds and hopeful hearts. Kissing him had become as natural as breathing, and they shared breaths, and they stole each other's breaths...

_Giving_ the other a reason to breathe.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Sorry for the huge delay in the update, went on vacation! Thanks for taking the time to review, guys, as always I appreciate your support and I'm blessed to have it. When I first published this story, I definitely didn't expect this kind of reception. I hope it's because the story is actually decent and not because of the scarcity of khajiit stories ;P! _

_Let me know if there's anything I can improve on, because I have another potential khajiit story in mind but I'm still working on the details and battling whether to work on it as I'm working on this, or wait until I someday finish this one. It's clearly going to take a while with how much emphasis is on relationship than plot lol. Anyways, see you in the next chapter!  
_

_**Translation**_

_Do oonpal - _good morning

_Serush - _beautiful

_Serushna - _beauty

_Shabar ari - _in love


	18. Old Friends, New Enemies

_**Chapter 18: Old Friends, New Enemies**_

* * *

"Ja'kal smells other khajiit nearby." The offhanded remark startled Serana out of her stupor, mildly engrossed in her book that she read while they traveled along the cobblestone road. She trusted Ja'kal to keep them a safe distance from potential threats, but she didn't quite know how to process this information. She looked over her shoulder, smirking.

"Our definitions of 'nearby' are still different, Ja'kal."

Suddenly, his ears perked and his tail stiffened, the hairs bristling; he was alarmed about something, and she quickly stashed her book in her satchel. Ja'kal's hand slipped in his pocket and pulled out the blindfold, even though it was night time.

"What are you doing?" Her brow arched in curiosity, unsure of how to react when he didn't seem to behave as if they were in danger. He walked straight towards her and, with no retries, covered her mouth with his hand as he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Ja'kal knows this smell. It will not be like Dra'kul."

What wasn't going to be like Dra'kul?

"This one was not good leader in the past, but Ja'kal asks you still trust him now; follow this one's lead and pretend you cannot talk, yes?"

Serana nodded. If she thought she was confused, it didn't compare to how she was now. She kept her expressions in check, nibbling on her tongue when he grabbed her hand and lead her that way. "I'm pretty sure you said to pretend I can't talk, not _walk,_ and I'm not the blind one here," she murmured her tease; her smirk grew when he squeezed her hand even harder, looking behind at her. His brows bounced playfully under the blindfold.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

This part was _definitely_ an excuse to hold her hand.

It felt like another era passed her by before they finally saw hints of civilization; torches illuminated the end of the path and guards signified it was the end of the road. Riften was in sight. The realization coiled apprehension around her throat, for she didn't know what exactly they would face at Fort Dawnguard. All her hopes rode on the fact that they would appreciate what information she could offer them, but she neglected to mention to Ja'kal that she killed several of their soldiers during their escape from the hideout. Negotiation may already be off the limits, and she wasn't looking forward to employing more drastic measures that would _guarantee_ they'd listen to her.

Only time could tell.

"Ja'kal, are these 'nearby' khajiit on the other side of Skyrim?"

"No," he chuckled, squeezing her hand again. She liked it, even if it made her feel weird. His hand felt weird too. He was weird. Everything about him was weird.

And she still liked it.

"Squat." Ja'kal took up the position without any hesitation, and there was an ominous feeling brewing in Serana's stomach as she reluctantly followed along. They stalked forth, in the shadows, and when he looked behind with a fangful grin, she rolled her eyes and slapped a hand over his mouth far too late. "Serana like to sneak."

"Ja'kal," she groaned, "not now."

By the gods, that was so old now; how hadn't it lost it's charm yet?

"Walk." Ja'kal tugged her as he straightened, and he laughed when she sighed exasperatedly.

"There wasn't _any_ point to that, was there?"

"Dov!" His chuckles bounced in his chest, and though she hadn't looked up that word before, she had a pretty good guess what it meant. She shook her head and squeezed his hand as hard as she could until she drew a wince for revenge, smirking when he retaliated by pulling her into a crushing hug. Their spirit for competition ignited once again, though hers simmered when he whispered in her ear. "Ja'kal is getting stronger, yes?"

"You're getting there," she acknowledged, loving the way his tail whipped happily. His chest puffed out in pride, pushing against her, and she chuckled. "But you still have yet to tap into what you're really capable of, like this." Innate vampiric strength ought to be illegal; well, maybe that was partially the reason everyone feared and hunted vampires. She used only a fraction of her potential to overpower Ja'kal, slipping out from his arms to push and pin him against a tree.

It backfired on her when his tail wrapped around her waist and pulled her against him, hips pressed intimately together. He sought every opportunity to fluster her, it seemed, and he did it well. The khajiit framed her jawbone and stole a kiss, whispering against her lips. "Jer vara zaji q'zi jer vara zegata."

All she understood was that he was calling her sexy again, and it made her feel a mixture of empowerment and timidity. Tension hung between them as he kissed her, slow and deep, his rough tongue slipped into her mouth. A stray thought compared it to sandpaper; for some reason, it made her laugh. She pulled away, amused by the bemused look on Ja'kal's face, and she grinned. "Stick out your tongue for a minute."

Ja'kal probably stared blankly underneath his blindfold. She _had_ to see it, and so she lifted it up to confirm her suspicions. He looked so hesitant and unsure as he complied, his long tongue dribbling out of his mouth, and she reached up to pinch the tip.

"You have... Barbs or something here too. Like spines facing backwards." Curious, she rubbed along the length of his tongue, scratching her fingertip. "Why?"

Ja'kal looked utterly hopeless now. It didn't elude her that there was a most mysterious phenomenon happening below as they spoke, and she all too happily, perhaps a touch sadistically, decided to subtly rub her hips against his. He inhaled sharply, gaze darting downwards. His tail tightened around her waist and he looked back up at her with pleading eyes. "Ja'kal does not know; please do not ask how our eyes can see, next." Ooh, that was a good idea. "Can we go back to-"

"Do you think it has anything to do with licking your fur and grooming yourself?"

Oh, the offended look was too much; it was as if she had slapped him with her words instead of her hand. _Glorious._

"Ja'kal does not lick his fur or groom himself. Grooming is for house cats." He ripped off his blindfold and took a look around, his eyes narrowing at the torches in the distance. He shrugged and grabbed her by the waist, turning the tables until he had lifted her up and rested her against the tree trunk. She wrapped her legs around his hips and locked him in, biting back a groan when_ friction_ caused delicious tingles to shoot up her spine. That same gnawing _ache_ from before settled between her thighs, and she swore that any more tension between them would result in her calling for a 'nap', and search for some modicum of privacy.

They seriously needed to reset their priorities and get it straight. All these diversions were even beginning to tempt Serana to forsake her duties.

"Jer nezal do," Ja'kal growled. His tongue wrapped the front of her throat, pushing her jaw up; it scratched pleasantly as the tiny spines glided across her skin, and she hissed when he thrust against her. "I cannot wait for the day I will get to do this without our clothes in the way," he rasped, gyrating mindlessly. "To be inside you, feel you surround me..."

Yeah. That whole theory about ears and loins being connected?

Maybe he was on to something after all.

_'What if that day could be today?' _Was a whisper that circulated in her thoughts, resting on the tip of her tongue. She just couldn't push them over the edge, take a leap of faith, to move forward instead of remaining crippled by fear. Every movement and kiss was infused with tenderness and wild abandon, tempting her to indulge and strip free of inhibitions. She was safe, and she knew she would _remain _safe. She wanted to reach out and connect with him just as badly; because every day of this was beginning to drive her mad.

But the chance was taken away from her.

"Ja'kal? Is that you?"

They both froze. Ja'kal all but _dropped_ Serana, and she barely folded her legs beneath her in time to land on her feet, though stumbled off balance. What a sly and romantic man; no doubt they were already caught in the act before the stranger decided to reveal themselves. Warmth pulsed at her nose at that, but she cast it out of her mind as she took a good look at the... Khajiit.

Oh, hell. They weren't on the other side of Skyrim.

"Kharjo?"

Kharjo. Why did that name sound familiar? The missing pieces in her memory were cruelly supplied by two khajiit that thought of themselves most helpful.

"Khajiit like to sneak!" They laughed, squatting and hopping on their feet like rabbits. Serana would have found it all very endearing and amusing, had she not already foreseen what her coming days were about to be filled with. She sighed, straining a smile when Ja'kal bounced up and rushed over to her, grabbing her hand and dragging her closer to the other khajiit.

"This one _must_ introduce you to Serana, Kharjo. She is Ja'kal's aritrevan."

"Really?" Kharjo stroked his chin, his piercing eyes narrowing on her. She didn't understand what aritrevan meant, and she wasn't sure if she liked the way the khajiit regarded her. His question plucked a nerve. "_Her?_ Why?"

Ja'kal's tail went from thrashing happily, to drooping. His ears flattened forward and the pride in his voice was swept away with uncertainty. He looked at her as he answered. "Because she is a good friend and saved Ja'kal's life."

Oh, so aritrevan must have meant guardian or savior, or something like that. That made sense.

Kharjo's laugh, however, didn't. "Ja'kal! If everyone who saved your tail was your girlfriend or boyfriend, you would be-"

Serana didn't hear the rest. _Couldn't._ Her gaze snapped to Ja'kal's in shock, and she blurted. "_What?_"

Ja'kal seemed confused by her reaction, and that simply _baffled_ her. How in the world was he the confused one? He shrugged, all casual. "What, what?"

"Aritrevan means girlfriend?"

"Yes?" Is he not listening to himself and his tone right now?!

"No, not really," Kharjo grinned; there was the answer to a question she had yet to scream. "Literally, it means 'love friend', though in human tongue it would mean either girlfriend or boyfriend as it is the closest translation." He was still fixated on her, _watching_ her. She didn't like it. Was he sizing her up, thinking she wasn't right for Ja'kal?

Well, now. Competitive spirit, check. She was going to prove him wrong.

"Ah, Ja'kal, how I have missed you, my friend. You should come to the caravan." Kharjo approached, and she tensed when he neared. Not even Ja'kal's hand could set her at ease. She _really_ didn't like the way this khajiit stared at her. "Ahkari finally got her shipment of skooma, you and your..." His gaze flicked to Serana. "_'Aritrevan'_ can stay with us. Have a good time tonight."

Skooma. Drugs. Serana glanced at Ja'kal, who laughed merrily and nodded, hooking his arm around Kharjo's neck and drilling knuckles into the head. "Aye, that sounds fun, my friend, but you know Ja'kal only likes moon sugar."

"Your girlfriend doesn't look like she likes either." There was a dangerous glint in Kharjo's eyes, and she crossed her arms as she glared at him. Whenever Ja'kal looked her way, however, she replaced it with as sweet of a smile as she could muster, then went back to glaring when she was in the clear.

"But moon sugar is a gift from the moon-gods," Ja'kal explained, looking at her with pleading eyes. "Serana does not like it?"

Serana frowned. This was a toss up, an honest answer versus a sweet lie. She knew the consequences of both, and she hated to be the reason for what was about to be a drooping tail. "I've never tried either of them, and I don't want to. I'm not a fan of anything that alters the mind, even illusion."

"What if it is good... Alteration?" Judging by the smug smirk, Ja'kal seemed pleased with himself. She rolled her eyes and smiled as she approached him, instinct taking his hand and dragging him away a good few feet from Kharjo. She refused to look at him and turned until her back faced him, rising on her toes to whisper in Ja'kal's ear, knowing the other khajiit would hear her anyways.

"You can have your fun tonight, but don't forget where we have to go tomorrow."

Ja'kal grinned and took her hands, dragging her to the direction of the caravan. "Kharjo, come! We will have a party tonight, like old times."

"Indeed we will, friend!"

**x - x - x**

Stoned cats all around. What chance there was of Serana liking _any_ of this has been completely obliterated. Once again, she was not allowed to enter the city; not with Ja'kal anyways. She had half a mind to just go exploring on her own with how out of sorts he was, talking in his own language and laughing with Kharjo.

Who _still_ stared at her.

What was his problem? Was he jealous or something? He seemed awfully clingy to Ja'kal, and she didn't like that either. There was a vicious whisper in her _blood,_ to take back what was rightfully hers and claim it and protect it and never let it go ever again. She tried to understand the importance of moon sugar to Ja'kal as best as she could, without her own biased perspective writing it off as inherently bad. He seemed to enjoy himself greatly, and his fun nature came out more often in the form of jokes and infectious laughter. But why did he prefer moon sugar over skooma if they both did the same thing?

If only she had thought to take her knapsack of books, before they left the castle. Now she was still stuck with the measly old and dusty book that was abandoned on the road, and for good reason, it seemed. It had a horrible ending; and it was abandoned on the road once again.

Was it worth trying the wretched substance at least once, to sate her curiosities? They were plenty sated from watching the other khajiit, but she still wondered what it felt like to be in such a state of euphoria. Was it like a dream? The longer she had observed, the more disheartened and disappointed she was, totally forgotten as Kharjo held Ja'kal's attention. She was _lonely_ all over again. It hurt to be cast aside so easily; though she could understand the need to catch up with old treasured friends, she... Had no such friends.

This wasn't her scene.

Serana rose from the firepit and waved when Ja'kal's gaze snapped to her, hints of glowing specks housed in his glazed blind eyes. At least he was aware she existed.

"Serana? Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to go for a little walk, I'll be back soon." She took off before he had a chance to protest, taking a deep breath when she was a safe distance away from camp. It was fresher, almost, and she could feel the chill in the air as opposed to the suffocating heat of the campfire and darker emotions. She wasn't a fool, she knew what her blood was screaming for, why it felt as though the other khajiits _challenged_ her, beckoning to be dominated.

Serana needed to get away from here before she was tempted to bleed that _fucking_ Kharjo dry. She absentmindedly wished for the chance when a shooting star struck across the night sky, a marvel of a beautiful sight itself as auroras illuminated the province. If only she could soak in this beauty and describe it to Ja'kal, to paint the picture for him.

Gods above, this should not have affected her as much as it was, right now. She was a grown and independent woman, and Ja'kal was a... _Questionably_ grown and independent man. He was allowed to have friends, allowed to have a good time. She just wished she was allowed to have the same.

Now she knew how it must have felt like to be an outcast to the world, with only friends of the same kin; except she didn't even have that. The only one she could possibly call a friend is Garan, and even then that was testing the limits with how fickle relationships were in the game of politics. Garmr and CuSith were the only reliable ones.

_Dogs._

She loved them, she did, but she hoped she had potential for actual companionship; if an overgrown cat even qualified as that.

Serana smiled to herself at that thought, absentmindedly touching her lips as her mind drifted back to her last kiss. Her belly stirred at the memory and sensation of Ja'kal's body firmly pressed against her, renewing the ache between her legs. This _was_ her chance to find that modicum of privacy and sweet _release,_ so maybe...

But the chance was taken away from her again.

"Serana, run away!" Ja'kal's panicked yell made her heart hammer right up at her throat. She didn't even think about it; her feet had already raced her back to the caravan. As she drew near, her nose burned with a most wretched smell: _garlic. _What in the world was happening? She smothered her nose with her cloak, and breathing through her mouth still brought a world of pain. She rushed to the left and took cover behind trees, looking at the caravan to see what was happening first and hopefully formulate a plan.

Fury took her over when she saw Dawnguard soldiers dragging Ja'kal away, with one of them handing a hefty coin purse to Kharjo. Her fangs itched for his blood.

Her wish was about to come true.

* * *

_**Translator**_

_Dov - _no

_Jer vara zaji q'zi jer vara zegata - _you are sexy when you are strong

_Jer nezal do -_ you feel good

_Aritrevan -_ girlfriend


	19. Whatever It Takes

_**Chapter 19: Whatever It Takes  
**_

* * *

Fangs beckoned to protrude from her lips, but she did her best to keep them tuckered away as she calmly sauntered towards the khajiit caravan. She put on her best and sincerest smile as she approached Kharjo, mindful of the stoned merchant who's tail thrashed apprehensively. The warrior seemed surprisingly casual, as if the weight of his sin bore no burden on his soul.

How could he have betrayed his own friend? Serana would have guessed that kinship between khajiit would be an unbreakable bond with the prejudice they suffer here; she intended to get answers, but she had to be careful and smart about it. She pretended as if she was confused when she looked at the campsite, then back at Kharjo. "Where's Ja'kal? I thought I heard him say my name, but I was too far to tell for sure."

Hopefully they were too distracted apprehending Ja'kal to _smell_ how close she actually was.

"Ah, my poor friend was not feeling well. He said he was going to take a bath at the nearby lake, and steal some fish from the fisheries."

"Really?" Serana crossed her arms. "He_ specifically_ said he'd steal?"

"Yes."

No. Kharjo didn't know Ja'kal as well as he thought. 'Stealing' would not be in the vocabulary of that carefree cat; everything automatically belonged to him.

"Are you feeling unwell, _aritrevan?_" Kharjo's sneer told stories; if only she listened to them earlier. "Perhaps this one can escort you to the lake to him."

"Yes, I'd appreciate that. I don't have a khajiit's sense of smell." She lingered close behind to ensure she could handily grab his wrist and stop him from drawing his weapon, should he be foolish enough to. She was concerned for Ja'kal's safety, but she _needed_ to hear why Kharjo sold his friend out; she assumed the two had been through a lot, so how could all of that been sacrificed for a mere coin purse?

Thankfully, it was only Kharjo she had to worry about. The other khajiit eyed warily, nervously, but made no move to come. She may not have had a khajiit's sense of smell, but she smelled enough of that putrid skooma to decipher it just as well as garlic.

How was the scent of garlic masked from Ja'kal, anyhow? Was it encased in a jar?

Serana studied her surroundings and every single shadow was picked apart as she followed Kharjo towards the lake; it was in the opposite direction of where she had seen the Dawnguard soldiers drag Ja'kal away, so why was she wasting time here? Was there another ambush planned here for her? She needed information. The moment she looked around and saw nothing but sparse crop fields, she struck and tackled Kharjo to the ground, pinning his wrists behind his back. She pushed his head into the dirt to muffle his scream, not risking the chance to put her hand anywhere near his mouth, lest her fingers be bitten off.

"**Talk.**" Serana leaned down and hissed in his ear, jamming her knee into his back. "Why did you betray him? Do you have any idea what you've done? Handing him to the Dawnguard was a death sentence!"

"He is already _dead_ because of _you,_ vampire! Did you think we would not know what you are?" Kharjo thrashed about and proved a risk; she bared her fangs and sank them into the back of his neck, pulsating weakening magic directly into his bloodstream. She tried to ignore the powerful craving that rocked her gut as soon as warm blood flooded her mouth, and the smell of it reminded her of savannas; the smell Ja'kal no longer had. She retracted herself from Kharjo.

"How did you organize the ambush? None of you left the camp." The Dawnguard was quite prepared, quickly as well, in order to snatch Ja'kal. But why not her? They both could have been incapacitated at once. "What do you _really_ want with Ja'kal?"

"What makes you think I will tell you anything? Let him rest in peace and go to the moons, where his soul deserves to be!"

Serana's fangs slipped back underneath her lips, mindful to suppress every weak attempt Kharjo made to throw her off. She scooped the wrists in one hand and pinched his ear with her nails. His groan went unheeded. "Who you saw tonight was no dead man, khajiit, and I know you saw it. Ja'kal has life in him."

"You robbed that of Ja'kal when you turned him into you wretched _things. _Since you apparently care for him, stop being so foolish. What kind of life does he have by being a creature hunted and hated by everyone? You took him away from friends and family and manipulated him; to hear him call you _aritrevan__? _It makes me sick! Vampires love nothing but blood and death, and Ja'kal only ever loved. Now he is a victim of his own illusion. No more. He will be saved."

Every single retort made her doubt herself all over again; she knew very well she ruined his life, but there was still that naive part of her that was convinced, _tricked,_ by Ja'kal that she hadn't. If she never made him get into that wretched boat in the first place, if she never left the blind man to fend for himself, if she only worked harder to cure him instead of taking the coward's way out and turn him...

"You speak as though the plan isn't to kill him," Serana mused aloud, and she felt Kharjo stiffen beneath her. "What is the Dawnguard going to do to him, and why _him?_" He would have been under their radar this entire time, unless... "Is it because of his brother, Dra'kul? Did he put the caravans up to this?"

Kharjo struggled, albeit weakly. She didn't need an answer; he reeked of panic. The subtle chime in the air alerted every muscle in her body and she swiftly transformed into a bat, flying to the shadows for safety. The world darkened, her every other sense sharpened; maybe this is what it was like to be Ja'kal. She all too well knew that chime, her acute hearing picking up the creak of a crossbow and slice of air until a bolt embedded to where she once was. She didn't stop, she had to find Ja'kal and somehow free him _without_ killing the very people she needed to persuade she was on their side.

Something told her killing them wouldn't exactly be helpful in making her case.

Confident she ventured far enough, she sought shelter on a sturdy tree branch and transformed back into human form, clutching the branches tightly as the one groaned beneath her weight. The stench of garlic marred this area; she had a feeling they were taking Ja'kal back to the fort.

Maybe this was the entrance they needed, to warn the Dawnguard that there were worse things in the works?

Not even Stendarr will be able to preserve them if they hurt Ja'kal in any way shape or form. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; she had to collect her emotions and keep calm, reminding herself that there _were_ worse things in the works, and she couldn't afford to destroy her own opportunity by listening to impulse. Her blood _screamed_ outrage for not bleeding Kharjo as she so wished upon a star for the chance, and she looked over her shoulder, contemplating.

No. She had to get to Ja'kal. Besides, clearly the Dawnguard offered some sort of protection as well; or that was a soldier that stalked them and tried to ambush her. Serana cautiously climbed down, checking over her shoulder before she made the next move. She almost operated as if she was some sort of dwemer machination, somewhat dazed and running purely on instinct as she charged forth in the night. The garlic repelled her a safe distance away; it angered her, but more so worried her.

Hopefully they had the decency to knock Ja'kal out, or he must have felt like his very _brain_ was on fire if it had already felt that way for her, searing her nose from the inside out. She couldn't hear anything that resembled grumbling or screaming; this silence was _worse. _She didn't know what they were doing to him, or what they wanted to do to him, or if she could even pull a rescue out of her arse anyways.

Helpless, it fed the fury broiling inside of her. It surged and fueled her legs to keep moving towards two distant torchlights, and she kept to thick brushes for cover when the smell of garlic pervaded everything in her nose, leaving a vile taste in her mouth. She fought back a gag and repressed sounds as best as she could, unpinning and removing her cloak so that she could smother herself with it. It barely helped, but the agony faded away as voices thundered in her ear, along with her heartbeat.

"Dra'kul, you know the leaders aren't going to agree to this." Why was he talking so loudly? Did they _want_ to be found? "How do you even know if your information is reliable?"

"It is reliable." There was a slight... Lisp. Was he deaf? Partially, it seemed, anyways. "Dra'kul will do whatever it takes to save Ja'kal."

By the gods, he sounded so much like Ja'kal. A pang gripped her, and it honestly _hurt_ to stay and listen rather than go and react. She knelt low when she noticed the khajiit's head swing in her direction, and breathed a silent prayer that he smelled Ja'kal's _tarmo_ _halku_ more than her. Her mind raced feverishly to piece the puzzle together before she even had all the pieces, and she watched Dra'kul keenly. He turned to the unconscious khajiit slung over a horse's back, his hesitant hand combing through Ja'kal's short mane.

"This one has a chance to get his brother back. Not everyone gets that chance."

_Get his brother back,_ just what in the world was going on here?

"You honestly believe those rumors? You haven't even gone out to investigate, and now you're bringing a vampire right into Fort Dawnguard! If you won't kill him, they will."

Hair stood on the back of Serana's neck when Dra'kul shot his accompanying partner a vicious look, and the khajiit's long incisors were bared in a hiss. "We have a chance to find a cure. They will listen to that. Dra'kul knows his brother; Ja'kal does not want to be a creature of the moons. He is a creature of the sun. This one is sure Ja'kal will want to be cured, that he was turned against his will. S'rendarr will show mercy."

That made her heart sink to her stomach. She froze, paralyzed by the information, and gaped like a fool. A cure. A cure for _vampirism._ How was such a thing even possible? And would Ja'kal truly want to be cured? What was she supposed to do now?!

Dra'kul unwrapped a clove of garlic from a cloth, and Serana pressed her cloak harder into her nose to muffle herself before she whined in pain. Thankfully, the clove was dropped and sealed in a cork-lidded jar, and the offensive stench gradually dispersed; then she realized that may have been the only thing that stopped Dra'kul from smelling her.

He stared off in her direction, and she dropped down on her stomach while trying not to disturb the grass. She held her breath and closed her eyes, waiting it out, and nearly sighed with relief when she heard a chirp accompany the horse's hooves beating the road soon after. No more words were exchanged. Maybe Dra'kul signaled the other not to talk, hopefully for want of peace, rather than suspicion.

As the sounds faded, she slowly got up and watched the torchlights; two of them, still. She stalked them all the way back to the fort, cursing herself for her inability to act or think. Her mind was clouded with the doubts that ripped her apart every step of the way.

She _did_ ruin Ja'kal's life... Didn't she?

**x - x - x**

Before he opened his eyes, Ja'kal had his mind already set in stone.

He did not like this.

He did not like this very, _very_ much.

This dreadful feeling that gnawed at his guts? He also did not like. It was rather unpleasant. Had he eaten a bad fish again? His mouth was as dry as the desert, and he licked his chapped lips. Darkness surrounded him even when he opened his eyes, though he could feel a tight knot on the back of his head: a blindfold.

"Serana?" He tried to move, and found his wrists bound behind him. Memory came crashing back, as did panic, and he tried to rise, but couldn't; his feet were tied together as well. "Serana? Are you alright?" Every word echoed, bouncing off walls. His ears flicked to and fro to try and follow every sound, to decipher where in the world he even was. "Where are you?"

Where was he?

"Serana, please say something if you are here. Ja'kal does not like silence."

No, silence was _terrifying_ when he could not see.

"Sera-"

"Pipe down," a gruff voice interrupted, yawning. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Who are you? Where is Ja'kal? What do you want? What are you going to do to Ja'kal? Where is Serana?"

Every question went ignored, save for the grumbling. Human? Elf? It was hard to tell the difference. Ja'kal never had very many opportunities to speak with either, except when they were angry and hurling racist slurs at him; the ones at the castle were even less enlightening and educational.

"Ja'kal will not 'pipe down' until you tell what this one wants."

"Of course you won't, you bloody khajiit never do."

Boots scraped sharply; metal on stone. Every heavy footstep rang as if this stranger's armor was singing a song, announcing his presence to the world. It gave hints on what kind of man he was. Arrogant. Clumsy. Fearless, or perhaps just plain stupid. No amount of armor could protect someone from an arrow striking from the shadows, finding a gap in between the plates. Dra'kul would know that best. He was the hunter.

Light swallowed Ja'kal's world and he hastily closed his eyes, groaning when they burned. The blindfold was taken off, and he took quick peeks to figure out where he was. The firelight in the room was the worst and he turned his head away, watching the bearded stranger from the corner of his eyes. A human, grizzled, wearing a tortured look on his face.

"Where is Serana?" He pressed, trying to watch the human for any dishonesty. It didn't help when the stranger moved towards the firelight and Ja'kal shut his eyes when hands reached for him, only to tie the blindfold around him again. "Where have you taken Ja'kal?"

"You're in Fort Dawnguard. As for your master, I don't know. My opinion?" It was not asked for, _bloody human._ "Isran's lost his mind, he has, allowing her to work with us."

"For what?"

"Don't know, that's well above my paygrade, lad." They were paid? News to Ja'kal. He was paid nothing. "That's only for the council to know. I'm just here to watch you."

Annoying. Council, _tsk._ That meant rules. Corruption. It was a matter of time before the leader's ear would be bent, and the peoples' outrage would be silenced. Viciously. Ja'kal kept it to himself so as not to antagonize his apparent guardian, listening closely as the stranger's heavy boots skidded back to a creaky cot.

"It is above your paygrade to tell Ja'kal your name?"

Laughter chafed the air, the chuckles like rocks smashing against the shoreline of a furious storm. "No, lad. My name is Björn."

Ja'kal nodded and sat in silence, thinking, processing. He was not the thinker Serana was, but he trusted his gut feeling. He knew what Dawnguard's stance on vampires was. He should not be alive right now, and yet he was; perhaps through the grace of Serana's cleverness, with whatever she worked with them for. But there was something that didn't fit.

"Björn is very friendly for a vampire hunter." Maybe he was as much of a hunter as Ja'kal was.

"That can change. I could beat you up or skin you, if you prefer."

"No, thank you. Ja'kal very much prefers not to be a fur rug." Ja'kal smiled small when the hearty laughter echoed and filled this expansive room. It helped him feel more at ease, but he remained on his guard in case if this were just a trick to get him to drop his guard completely, especially since there was a very real chance that this human was lying about not knowing anything about whatever they were forcing Serana to do. He pushed his wrists outwards in an attempt to loosen the binds somewhat, grimacing when they chafed painfully. He held his hands up. "Björn will cut these off, yes?"

"Nice try, lad, but no."

"Ja'kal could just bite it off. Your choice."

"Oh, yeah, that suddenly makes me trust you a whole lot more, vampire."

"Ja'kal's name is Ja'kal."

"A vampire's name is vampire. Don't think y'can butter me up, lad. I'm old, not stupid. I've made it to this age for a reason."

Braving the boundary, Ja'kal lifted his wrists to his mouth. He hadn't stopped even when he heard the shrilling of a sword unsheathing. All bravado died the moment he could feel that sword shave a few hairs off his neck. "Don't mistake my kindness for mercy and leniency, lad. All you have to do is sit tight and be patient until your master comes back."

"How is Ja'kal supposed to know if she will? That you aren't lying?"

"A true Nord honors his word and tells no lie."

Ja'kal grumbled, and his hands fell with a huff. "Ja'kal will be counting the minutes to tell time. If she is not back today, you will have a problem with this one. _I promise._"

"There's no way your master will be back today, they're halfway across Skyrim." Björn sighed, and the sound of the sword sliding back into it's scabbard set the khajiit at ease. He lumbered away, probably back to the cot, and grunted as it creaked incessantly. Ja'kal made sure to paint a vivid picture in his mind to ensure he knew where the old man was at all times. Björn may have made it to his age for a reason, but even sharp rocks dull over time.

Ja'kal tried not to smile as his mind repeated the words over and over again, clinging to this crucial piece of the puzzle. It gave more hints to what kind of man the stranger was. Björn was no honorable Nord, but an arrogant and clumsy one. He wasn't fearless. He was just plain stupid.

_They're halfway across Skyrim._

"Ja'kal thought that was just for the 'council' to know?"

Silence.

For once, Ja'kal liked it.

* * *

_**Translation**_

_Aritrevan - _girlfriend (gender neutral, lit: love friend)

_Tarmo - _old

_Halku - _mold

_S'rendarr - _Khajiit version of Stendarr


	20. How to Track Serana

_**Chapter 20: How to Track Serana  
**_

* * *

"You smell like mold."

Oh. Wonderful. Two brutally honest brothers who couldn't keep their noses to themselves. Serana was off to a great start, bonding with Dra'kul. She sighed exasperatedly and glanced over her shoulder with a dejected look. "Ja'kal said the same thing. I wash myself and my clothes regularly, you know." Thanks to Ja'kal's nosy nose. "Hygiene's important to me and I shouldn't smell that way anymore."

"Well you do."

Was she some sort of progenitor of mold or what?

"It is worse than Ja'kal's smell. Not even garlic masked your scent."

Rub it in, because _why not? _If this was his way of getting under her skin... Well. It was working. She coughed to clear her throat, strained from talking loudly enough for the half-deaf khajiit to hear, and threw a frown his way. "Why didn't you tell your partner I was following you two?"

"Because Dra'kul wanted to see why you did not kill him, and now he and the others know why." The khajiit stopped and raked a hand through his unruly mane, his tail flicking about to accompany the unsure look on his face. "You care for Ja'kal enough to know he would hurt if Dra'kul perished, but why did you turn Ja'kal into a vampire?"

"To save his life," Serana replied readily, only for doubt to lurk in the dark recesses of her mind. She could have saved him if she fought harder, research longer, experiment with ingredients until she mixed a concoction that would have finally worked with khajiit physiology and combat the infection that coursed throughout Ja'kal's bloodstream. She watched as Dra'kul slowed behind her, stopping. He watched back just as carefully.

"Why did you save his life?"

"Because I didn't want to lose him." The words tumbled out without thought, and her jaw set, punched by herself. She rushed to defend, for some reason, stammering as if trying to loosen something inside and shake it out of her. "H-he saved me. It was only fair. I mean I made him walk me home for days without giving him any answers as to what would happen, and told him I didn't trust him, and then I made him get in a boat to help me row across. And he hates boats. He's blind, and he was terrified, and he still did it for a complete stranger. A _vampire._ He was a vampire hunter helping a vampire get home, a-and..."

And why was Dra'kul smiling?

"Ja'kal was never a hunter. He was always a lover."

Mm. Yeah. She got a taste of that.

_Oh,_ and how she missed it. Him. She better get the chance to see him safe and unharmed, as part of the negotiated deal with Isran.

"He loved all things." There was a notable sense of pride in Dra'kul's tone. "It never mattered where they came from or who they were; even when humans spat on us, he was kind. Sometimes stupidly so. _Very_ stupidly." There was that brutal honesty again. Guess it ran in the family. "But sometimes listening to the heart is better than the mind, or so he said. Sometimes Dra'kul does not agree." Dra'kul glanced behind him at a thick brush, probably where other Dawnguard soldiers hid. The khajiit heaved a heavy breath and rubbed his nape. "This one knows you understand when Dra'kul says he does not trust you, no?"

Well, it was only fair. She didn't exactly trust Ja'kal when they first met. In Dra'kul's shoes, she wouldn't trust herself either. She did kill half his unit and turn his brother into the very thing they were supposed to kill... But her heart cried outrage. She quelled it, viciously so, and forced the words out of her mouth. "I understand. I hope in time you'll see when I prove it to the Dawnguard as a whole that I can be trusted. I'm not here to start a war with all of Skyrim. I want to avoid unnecessary bloodshed."

"Then keep moving. You are the one that knows where you live, no? We must still go to Morthal."

Serana bit her tongue.

And, even more reluctantly than before, headed back home.

**x - x - x**

"Khajiit is innocent of this crime."

"You stole my sweet roll!"

"Khajiit is innoc-"

"The icing is on your _fur!_"

"Is it?" Ja'kal quickly ran his bound hands over his mouth and licked his lips. "Ja'kal is quite certain it is not. He does not see it."

"That's because you're blind, and... Ugh." Björn sighed, and his creaky cot sang a song. "Forget it. I'll get another one. Teaches me not to leave anything around you."

"Ja'kal is hungry."

"Oh? _My_ sweet roll wasn't enough?" He was going to cry about this forever, wasn't he? So much for nord strength and honor.

"Skyrim belongs to the nords, but everything in it belongs to the khajiit."

"What kind of logic is that, lad?"

The kind of logic Serana understood.

Björn grumbled under his breath, and Ja'kal picked up a few racist slurs. He bit his tongue before he retorted anything else, electing to annoy the living moons out of the grizzled warrior instead. "Ja'kal is hungry. Björn has fish, yes? This one smells barrels of it everywhere."

"I'm not raiding our food stores to feed you. They're preserved, and it takes forever to preserve them, and-"

"Ja'kal is hungry."

"I know you are! Troll's blood, you don't have to keep repeating it or keep saying your own bloody name, lad." It was almost _too_ easy to get under this human's skin. Just how had he actually survived to be his age if all it took was language and sweet rolls to make him fall? It seemed all Ja'kal would ever have to do in battle was say his name or 'sweet roll', and watch this nord have a temper tantrum.

"Then what are you going to do about Ja'kal's hunger?"

Perhaps it was boredom, perhaps it was the stunning lack of the instinct for self-preservation, or perhaps he really was just that damn hungry; whatever it was, it only fueled him to aggravate his guard. Perhaps stupidly so. He smiled when Björn groaned and the creaky cot sang another tune, soon accompanied by metal boots hastily stomping away with the old man complaining under his breath.

"I'll roll a bloody fish barrel over here, but you better not say another word after I do."

"Ja'kal swears on his life that he will not."

"Yeah, sure. Like how you promised to leave my sweet roll alone..." The grumbles faded and clanking armor echoed down the hall.

"Wafiit," Ja'kal sniggered, and made short work of his binds as he tore them off with his fangs. If he ever crossed paths with the burly and stinky bear of a human, he would sing the song and ensure he'd emphasize the part: "you know you never can outsmart a khajiit." He stretched and brought his ankles close to his mouth to rip the rope apart, and he didn't hesitate to escape. He pushed his blindfold up over his brows, staggering peeks and rationing what he ought to see, without being seen himself. He stuck to the shadows and snuck down a hall until it opened up to the expansive atrium; if this place has changed for the _better_ since he was last here, there would be more than just a couple guards at the entrance.

Ja'kal took towards the staircase instead, electing to climb up to the rooftop. He slithered along, nose wrinkling as the smell of more putrid humans stinking up beneath their mass of leather and steel. His blood _shuddered_ when his eyes briefly glossed over an axe hanging from the rung of one soldier's belt; he swallowed thickly and hurried along, quietly rushing up the stairs as soon as he rounded the corner. He needed to get out before his guard returned and alerted the entire keep. It wouldn't be long before the stench of garlic would overcome the place and incapacitate him again.

Fresh crisp night air greeted him, and the chilly wind combed through his fur like Serana's fingers. A pang gnawed at him; he needed to see her again and make sure she was _safe._ He had no clue where she was, apart from apparently being halfway across Skyrim, but he didn't trust what Björn said. If he lied about the 'council' knowing, then that meant ill-will darkened the path Serana walked on.

War horns soon blared both inside and outside the keep, and that was his cue to get out of there. He took cover behind crates when a patrol at the battlements turned to respond to the call, rushing for the stairs. Ja'kal wrapped around another corner when he smelled another patrol charging his way, and quickly made way for the mountainside when the faint wretched smell of that offensive and stupid _vegetable_ burned his aching nose. Apparently he had not been tormented enough. He still didn't understand why they kept him alive, but he refused to be used as a bargaining chip if they were forcing Serana to do something.

Ja'kal took out a garment from his pocket as he stalked to the edges he'd climb down. He peeked over a set of broken battlements, sighing. Snow-covered rocks made for unpleasant climbing experiences. He bit down on the end of the garment, something he'd borrowed from Serana, and kept it close to his nose. He leaped over and nimbly caught on grooves, beginning his long descent down.

He would smell his way back to _tarmo upoma._

**x - x - x**

"We have to get out of here before they figure out I took the elder scroll," Serana urged as she clung to the wretched thing; this was what she was locked away and shunned from the world for. This bloody scroll tore her family apart and yet she still found it impossibly difficult to hand it over to Dra'kul.

Something warned her: _not yet._

"Did someone see you?" Dra'kul's tail whipped nervously; he looked so, _so_ sad, and Serana didn't have the slightest clue why. It couldn't possibly be because of the tiny little rocking boat, of course not. Guess it was yet another thing that ran in the family, apart from just how ruthless honesty could truly be.

"My father did, but I waited until he left for the dining hall. It won't be long before he goes back to his chambers and finds it missing. Come on." Without thinking, she reached to grab his elbow, and the khajiit immediately flinched away. It was all the encouragement he needed to get into the boat; she tried to stay focused on the levity and amusement rather than the hurt. He didn't trust her and he said as much, and she understood.

It didn't make it hurt any less.

"Motion sickness too, huh? You and Ja'kal are definitely brothers, alright." Serana teased as she stepped inside, smirking when the khajiit's hands just about _flailed_ to grab an oar as if it would save his life. Guess it did, if it got him across the jetty and back on land. She made sure her knapsack was sealed shut so that her _books_ would remain safe; she was fairly confident the scroll would be fine if it couldn't be destroyed.

Though she was mildly entertained by the thought of the Moth Priest being set back because of a few water spots. The fate of all vampires, perhaps even the world, rested on this boat ride; and a skittish cat didn't help the matter as he jerked the oar sporadically, his ears thrashing about. Was seeing not enough?

"It is thanks to Ja'kal that Dra'kul is sick of anything that moves. We rode a wagon once, in Cyrodiil. He said it would be fun, that we should try something new if we are in new country, and that it would be good for our feet since we had gone from warm sand to cold stone. It was not fun. He made it stop being fun when he..." Dra'kul frowned, seemingly groping for words. He made a motion with his hand, mocking vomit coming out of his mouth.

Serana chuckled. "Yeah, I can see how he might have done that. And how _much__. _So now you're sick because he puked, huh?"

Dra'kul's eyes panned up to the moons, a wistful smirk tugging his whiskers. "Dra'kul may have been the first one, and the one who made Ja'kal sick."

"Ah," she laughed, "I don't know about that. He seemed to panic mostly because he could not see where he was moving and had a hard time finding his balance."

"Ja'kal always finds balance; but he cannot find it when he slips on puddles... Everywhere."

Okay. Ew. This mental image that was being painted for her in her mind was erring on being very disgusting now. Her curiosity dared venture into no man's land. "Just how much puke _was_ there? What did the wagon rider say?"

"Let us just say that there was no saving that wagon and it served best as kindling."

Serana shuddered. Now she _really_ understood why Ja'kal was so sick too; that he slipped meant he fell down _in_ it, maybe his fur even lathered up all the puke and he stunk for days and... Why was her mind making all of this even _worse?_ It was horrifying enough. "Let's move on to a nicer topic before we recreate that horror scene here. I don't want to be the next one that gets sick."

Dra'kul's cheeks puffed out, and she almost gagged when she heard and _smelled_ his burp trapped inside his mouth. He nodded feverishly. "After we give the Moth Priest the scroll, he will head back to the fort with Commander Vanik's unit and you and Dra'kul will head to Morthal to investigate these rumors of a cure." His pupils changed, the razor sharp slits narrowed on her. It reminded her to keep her expressions in check and composed, a dire contrast to what she was used to before.

All of this was a horrid realization of all the things she was starting to dearly miss.

"Dra'kul does not understand why you are helping the Dawnguard. Vampires should be with vampires... Unless you do not want to be a vampire?"

That struck a sore nerve. "I'm not looking for a cure, and you don't know for sure if Ja'kal wants to be cured."

"Of course Ja'kal wants to be cured," he spat back heatedly, sparking something sinister deep in her gut, a hunger she suppressed before it bloomed and drenched her tongue with a _craving. _"Dra'kul knows, he is Ja'kal's brother. We have been inseparable since we were cubs. You have known him for how long? A month?"

"Who he was and what he wanted then doesn't necessarily mean he is still that same person with the same wants now."

"Oh? Serana sounds very confident that Ja'kal does not want a cure." His rowing became more sporadic and urgent, his calm tone chipped away by the hot toxin coating his words. "Is it because you have charmed and manipulated him to do your bidding, vampire? Is he your puppet with strings? Dra'kul _knows_ his brother. Ja'kal must miss the sun, and-"

"He's never complained."

"You never asked."

"I...!" Serana stopped, and mouth agape. It struck her, suddenly, that she _hadn't_ ever asked. She just assumed she ruined his life, or that the bad thoughts he confessed having were initially the darker instincts whirring within him, but she never... Asked. He always seemed so cheerful, she just assumed, just like everything else. She fell silent and worried her lip, rowing against resistance, just like how her thoughts tried to fight against the current sweeping over her mind.

Sullen, her point lost it's bite when it came out as a mumble. "You don't know for sure either, until you ask him."

"Dra'kul intends to. The real question is: will Serana?"

She never answered.

**x - x - x**

Ja'kal was hungry.

Stupid karma. Stupid sweetroll. Stupid fish, refusing to be caught.

Another one slipped right past his hands as it merrily jumped through, like it was taunting him. He wouldn't be surprised if it was the same exact fish that has heard the outraged spirits of his murdered brethren, and has taken it upon itself to seek revenge and torment him. His stomach growled loudly, but his mind was the main source of all his problems.

Every time his hands slapped water, a vivid image burned bright behind his eyes. Serana. Serana, with her hair tucked behind her ears, her sleeves and trousers rolled up, her silken pale legs glistening as water droplets riveted down her skin. Now, he wanted nothing more than to glide his tongue up along the leg and use the water droplets as an excuse, to tell her he was just quenching his thirst and hopefully draw out that sweet, _sweet_ soft laugh of hers.

Ja'kal, fed up, sat in the water, uncaring of the bitter cold sensation submerging his nether regions. Maybe it'd soothe the aching in his loins at least a little bit. Now that he was apart from her, tracking her purely on scent alone, he had expressive explicit dreams; he often awoke wanting and panting, whispering and whimpering her name in the dark.

Why wasn't her safety his number one concern? It shamed him. He held nothing but the greatest admiration and adoration for her, and yet all he could think of was claiming her and making her _submit_ to him. He wasn't like that. He didn't want that. So why couldn't he stop thinking about it? There was something sinister eating away at him from the inside, and for the first time, he realized just how much Serana helped silence that vicious voice just with her presence alone. She really did make the bad thoughts go away.

Now he was having bad thoughts of her. Or were they good? They were bad in a good way.

Confusing.

"Ja'kal does not like this," he sulked under his breath, slapping at the water again. The fish leaped right over his palm, through his fingers, and he cursed. "Mor kha'jay trajir jer!"

Murky water mixed with swamp mud glued to his fur, and even when he tried to wash his hands, they came out dirty. He hated this. He could not possibly present himself to Serana like this, for his blonde shininess was now stripped and earthen like his dirty brown fur that he had in the first place. He liked blonde. It made him think of the sun, of good thoughts; it helped him believe he _was_ the sun, and he _was_ the good thought that would help ward Serana's bad thoughts away.

"I miss you," he sighed, burying his face in his hands. He couldn't find it in him to care about the dirt. It wasn't like he was going to find her anyways; how naive and reckless it was to charge off without thinking? But he was never the leader, never the thinker; that was Dra'kul and Serana. He leaned over and reached for his pile of clothes, grabbing the garment he used to track her by and pressed it directly to his nose, inhaling deeply.

Tingles buzzed in the pits of his belly, but he knew he was running out of time. Her scent was fading, and he was missing her to the point it was actually driving him crazy. He wanted their contests again, to tease her relentlessly. She never seemed it, never even outright expressed it, but she was playful in her own way.

"Ja'kal will find Serana." He closed his eyes and repeated those words over and over again like a mantra, to at least give him enough hope to _consider _believing such a foolish lie. In his mind, he screamed at himself to move, but all he could do was sit in misery and pity and smell the garment, trying to think of at least one good thought. Serana was a good thought. He focused on his memories, of every image he had painted of her in every possible manner; touching her numbered among his many favorites, especially when he had first mapped the outline of her curves with his tail to engrave every inch of her body in his mind so he knew exactly what he was touching, without seeing.

"Ja'kal will find Serana."

He would. It wasn't a question. He would find her, and he would kiss her, and he would tell her how much he missed her; then he would proceed to find the nearest scrap of privacy and pick her up and hold her against a tree, mapping her body with his lips instead of his tail. He smiled at that thought as he proudly flexed his chest; he hadn't been doing much, but he was noticing considerably more definition and strength as each day passed, and lean muscles gradually grew bulkier without losing flexibility. He very much enjoyed his new body, and he couldn't wait to unlock whatever innate vampiric potential Serana had mentioned before.

He was _positive_ Serana would very much enjoy his body too. He would do whatever it took to make sure it was a positive experience.

"Ja'kal?"

...That did not come out of his mouth.

His eyes snapped open, and he rubbed them in disbelief. He was staring at legs. Familiar legs. Slender and graceful, with clean regal clothing. His gaze slowly panned up, and the garment fell from his nose as his hands dropped, splashing the murky water. He couldn't believe it. This _had_ to be a figment of his imagination, or his magic flared up subconsciously and sucked him into an illusion of his own making.

"Serana?" It came out as a pathetic croak, and he cleared his throat, licked his lips, and tried again. "_Serana?_" A humiliating rasp, a cub's cry of what should have otherwise been a proud lion's roar. He still couldn't believe it, and he rubbed his eyes again. The mud stained his vision, but he caught glimpse of her smirk as she balanced on the balls of her feet, leaning as far as she could as she reached and wiped his eyes for him.

She was real.

"What are you doing in the mud?" So soft and gentle, her amusement, and _oh_ how he missed her voice. "How did you even end up here?"

"Scent," he murmured, dazed, as if that one word told the whole story; but she understood. Her smile told another story. He showed her the garment, now sopping wet.

For some reason, her eyes went wide.

"_T-that's..._ What you used to track me?"

Ja'kal nodded. She had a blank look.

And for some reason, Serana suddenly walked away.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Do you remember what Ja'kal took that belonged to Serana ;P? If not, the mystery of the garment shall be unveiled next chapter lol. Thanks as always to all supporters, and no worries Demon420! Reading and enjoying comes first, and I'm not sure if it's the right way, but I associate silence/no bad feedback expressing misery as a good thing :P_

_**Translator**_

_Wafiit -_ idiot

_Tarmo upoma - _old bones

_Mor kha'jay trajir jer -_ dark moons take you


	21. A Simple Answer

_**Chapter 21: A Simple Answer**_

* * *

Embarrassed was the most understated word to properly convey how Serana truly felt right now. She was so mortified that she honestly would not mind being locked away in her wretched crypt for another era.

Unfortunately, Ja'kal was immortal, so it wouldn't pose a problem for him to wait for her; if he could handle impatience. And clearly he had a very unique gift to track her.

By smelling her _fucking_ underwear.

Load the crossbows, tip the bolts with garlic and just kill her now, please. She strode ever faster when she heard Ja'kal call out her name, however faintly, and refused to wait for the mud-caked cat. Who still had her smalls clutched in his fist. Pardon her rude and crude language unbefitting of a lady of her stature, but seriously, _fuck that._ Fuck being a lady. Fuck him. Fuck the stupid world. Fuck her stupid life. Fuck her stupid underwear._  
_

"Urada, Serana! Did Ja'kal offend you with his state of uncleanliness?"

No, no. That he was so dirty and smelly was probably the only comforting thing right now, because at least it served as a very strong distraction from her internal screaming.

"Are you not happy to see Ja'kal?"

"Of course I am," she shouted over her shoulder, but showed no signs of slowing down. It probably wasn't properly conveying that feeling either. She sighed and absentmindedly combed her hair back, unwittingly loosening and undoing her braids. She turned around, thin lips tightening in a strained smile, and tried to regard Ja'kal's overall state rather than what dangled between his fingers. "I'm glad you found me. Or I found you. Or both." It was impossible to keep her eyes off his hand. Her gaze kept flicking at her damn smalls, uncomfortable heat flushing her chest. The offensive material burned her _eyes._

"This one will find clean water to wash, then hug you. Serana misses Ja'kal's hugs, yes?"

"Serana..." She trailed off, being absorbed by the hopeful look in his gaze. He was drenched in sticky mud, crusting his fur. His loincloth strained to cling to his body. She averted her eyes to the starry sky before she spontaneously combusted from the dizzying warmth surging to her head, nodding. She smiled small, sheepish, then smugly when an idea crossed her mind. She was _positive_ he would enjoy this. "Serana misses Ja'kal's hugs, yes."

Ja'kal's hearty laughter shook the very air, and she panicked, coming closer to muffle him with a hand over his mouth. She withdrew and grimaced at the gross sensation of goopy mud gluing to her palm. It was already enough to have wiped his eyes; she hadn't mentally prepared herself to wipe his mouth.

And then he embraced her.

"Ja'kal!" Serana tried to push him away, laughing when he only tightened and nuzzled his murky nose into her hair. "You're getting me dirty too, I-"

"That is the point." He withdrew with a charming, mischievous, _sinful_ smile. His eyebrows bounced playfully. "We wash together, yes? Come!"

Back to this, this relentless flirting and bold teasing. How much time had they spent apart? It felt like they never had at all. He still hadn't bothered to ask her what in the world was going on with the world around them; and honestly, for once, she couldn't care less. She needed a break. She needed a chance to clear her mind and free her shoulders from their burden for at least a little bit. She fidgeted with the strap of her knapsack; she still hadn't figured out how to break the news to him. She didn't want to.

Because she _knew_ she was going to lose him.

**x - x - x**

"The water will not bite you." Ja'kal submerged his smile, keeping his eyes above water as he watched Serana with great amusement. She stood at the shoreline, covered in thick muck all over her clothes. Mission success. He wondered if she was really going to swim in them and wash them that way, or disrobe.

It went without saying which _option_ he'd hoped she would do.

Glowing eyes reflected in the night, skittish as they flickered to him, then back down at the water. He swam closer, and lazily turned until he floated on his back. His smirk burst to life when he'd caught her gaze tether to his groin. He folded his hands behind his head, his tail worming into the pond's soil as an anchor. "Ja'kal will wear a blindfold if it will help you feel more comfortable; but this one will not lie, he is very much looking forward to seeing you without your clothes again." He sashayed to the shore until his head bopped the edge, and he gestured with his finger for her to come closer.

Confused, she knelt, climbing on hands and knees when he motioned for her to come even closer than that, craning his jaw up at an angle. She leaned down and chuckled when it became apparent that she figured out what he wanted to do, and _very_ awkwardly, they kissed upside down. The slight force of her lips nearly made him panic when his ears went underwater, muffling the world. Her hands cradled underneath his head and helped him come back up, staying in place as she explored and timidly poked his lips with her tongue, silently asking for permission.

Without warning, he twisted until his feet touched the ground and grabbed her wrists before she oriented to her newfound impending doom; and he _dragged_ her into the water.

Laughter skipped in the air before it submerged, and he grinned when he helped her break the surface of the water. She punched his shoulder, but that playfulness was replaced by something else entirely when his _hunger_ got the best of him, and he claimed her mouth with possessive abandon. He struggled to wrestle with her drenched clothes, tugging on her cloak until the pin snapped off. He tossed it aside _in the water,_ uncaring, his only thought and need to feed his craving.

"Ja'kal," she started, muffled by his mouth as his nimble fingers worked on the laces of her corset next. Thankfully leather was not so difficult to work with, but her tunic was a different story altogether. He was tempted to puncture a hole in it with his fangs, then rip it off, but the way she grabbed and held his hands with such gentle shyness reminded him to douse the wildfire that threatened to consume him.

Curious, he pulled away and stared at her, reaching to tuck drenched strands of hair behind her ear. His thumb swept and caught one of the drops that glazed down her cheek, his breath hitching as he studied the way the stars reflected off her wet complexion.

"_Serushna __Serana,_" he whispered, smiling softly when he saw the bashful look beat underneath the exterior of a woman who's habits always tried to shield her with a veneer of grace and calm. He was once fooled, even enticed and drawn in by the magnetic allure, but he knew that veneer was an illusion; she desired to be anything but graceful or calm.

And he knew how to ignite the frozen embers of her passion.

Fingers combed through his wet fur, stretching out over his chest. He pulled her by her hips and kissed her tenderly, almost agonizingly slow. It was when she'd broken the kiss and pushed past his jaw, scraping his neck with her fangs, that sparked and set his own embers ablaze. He squeezed her waist and groaned as electricity surged under his skin, indulging in her attention as she hooked her arms around his shoulders and drew him closer until their chests pressed together.

If only she didn't have her tunic in the way. She truly knew exactly how to torment him, when she wanted to.

"This is not fair," he grumbled, and he didn't need to look to _hear_ the bloody smirk dancing on her lips the moment she stopped biting him.

"Excuse me, are you actually complaining? We can stop if-"

"_Tsk!_ Serana is cruel when she teases Ja'kal."

"And you aren't, when you tease me?" She pushed away and looked him dead in the eyes, her fingers drumming along his collarbones, a wicked glint in her eyes. He nearly choked on his own breath when she undid the buttons of her tunic and languidly pulled it over her head...

And it got stuck.

Ja'kal dared _not_ even chuckle, for he already had an idea of how awkward she must have felt. He helped her wordlessly, the two neither speaking of it ever again as soon as the offended tunic was also cast aside in the water. It can wash itself. He soaked in the view and unashamedly roved over her body, licking his lips as rivulets paved little white streaks down her toned stomach, shining in the moonlight.

Without thinking, he knelt and held on to her hips for leverage, gliding his tongue to collect every drop; it was just as he'd dreamed of with her legs, and he looked up, soldered by the dark glaze clouding her bright eyes. It sent a hot rush straight to his loins and he carefully grazed a fang beside her navel, hissing when her fingers shot straight to gnarl his mane.

"Ja'kal," she groaned lowly, and her head lulled back when he did it again. Her chest rose and fell sharply, her grip tightening, sending tendrils of pain as it reefed on his skin; but it was _good_ pain, somehow. He dared stroke along the sides of her thighs, but the water numbed the sensation, and all he could feel was the slippery flesh as he squeezed her. He lavished kisses and bites over her stomach, trailing the subtle hills and grooves of her muscles. She may not have looked it, may not have even abused it, but there was a fair amount of strength and power waiting, _hibernating._

Shudders rolled down her body and he felt every time her skin tightened and danced under his tongue. It encouraged him to be braver, bolder, to dare take the next step. He made sure to look up at her and waited for eye contact until he experimentally stroked her inner thigh; she tensed immediately and her gaze shot down at him, the scent of fear overwhelming.

"Ja'kal will not do anything you do not want," he urged, trying not to sound as desperate as he really, _really_ was. All he wanted to do was touch her. Please her. Make her whisper and whimper his name as he had this past wretchedly lonely week. "Ja'kal is unarmed. He-"

"Come back up." She grabbed his hands as she glanced over her shoulder and seemed to look for something, then pulled him until he stood. He tried, likely failed, not to let his disappointment show. Serana tugged until they neared the shoreline, and she twisted around until she pushed him against a half-ledge to make him sit.

It took his entire being not to _pounce_ on her when she straddled him.

Arms hooked around his neck again and she kissed him, slow and deep, her pelvis dangerously close to his. She still had her miserable pants. There was no getting those off in water without a valiant struggle, but he was determined to emerge victorious if it was going to come to that. She leaned up on her knees and gently bit on the tip of his ears, and he nearly lurched as powerful tingles rushed straight to feed the _ache_ burning behind his loins. He held on to her hips for his dear life and she chuckled, her breaths hitting the top of his head, as she released his ear and tried to pry his fingers off.

"Your claws, Ja'kal," she lilted playfully, "they're still a whole lot sharper than you think."

Without asking, he reached behind her hip and unsheathed her dagger. That she hadn't ever flinched nor seemed the slightest bit suspicious as he put a blade between their bodies meant _the world_ to him; a grand display of trust that she probably hadn't even meant to consciously display. He pared his claws with practiced speed, then slid the dagger back in it's scabbard. His hands took their rightful thrones upon her hips again and he smirked up at her, enthralled by the seductive primitive hunger glowing in her eyes.

By the moons, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to ask if today was going to be the day. He didn't want to frighten her; let things roll along naturally. Curiosity and hope refused to settle down, however, and he drummed along the small of her back as she hovered above him, her hands using his shoulders for balance.

"Do you want to join with me?" Ja'kal murmured, fighting to keep his gaze on hers when she lowered until their nether regions were intimately pressed together. It took seconds before his body reacted, willingly or not, and no amount of conscious effort could stop that. He caught the flicker of doubt and smelled the hint of fear, rushing to comfort. "I really will not do what you do not want, Serana-arina." He loved her name dearly for how much he got to play with it even in his own tongue; and he knew it in his heart and _soul_ that their fates were intertwined together. "Nothing will happen without your permission."

"Can you truly tame yourself?" Serana leaned back, running her finger down the center of his chest. She stretched her fingers over his heart, racing fiercely, and smiled when she looked up at him. "It's beating as fast as mine."

"I am still nervous, of course. I am still learning what pleases both your mind and body; and Ja'kal does not yet know how vampirism has affected his loins." Other than endurance, and how frustratingly long it took to meet his release by his own hand. He stroked up and down the side of her calf, but the water still dulled the sensation. He wanted to feel her skin. He wanted to collect every droplet on his tongue. He wanted her to breathe his name, full of passion and abandon, for only him to hear over and over again over the course of the entire night until morning light.

Thoughts seemed to marvel her, judging by her sudden faraway look. Every aimless touch, fingers combing through fur, was contemplative. She stared at her hands and sat fully; it was impossible to hide or ignore how amazing she felt against him, but she didn't seem too focused on it herself.

She really did know how to torture him, whether she wanted to or not.

Every muscle fiber screamed at him to reverse their positions and hoist her up on the ledge, to take her pants and small clothes off and take_ her_ already. Then she hooked her arms around his shoulders and hid her face in his neck. "I'm sorry," she whispered; he assumed it was because she still wasn't ready, but that stench of fear had dissipated. And he assumed wrong, but neither did he know what to even assume anymore. "I never asked..."

"Asked what?"

By the moons, was she really doing this to him? _Now?_ She was a layer of fabric away from him being inside of her; from proving to her that she had nothing to fear, and everything to love. That she still kept her eyes buried away concerned him, though, and something in the atmosphere _shifted;_ just like the night he met her for the very first time.

"If... Hypothetically..." What did that word mean? He had never heard that one before. "There was a way to cure vampirism... Would you?"

"Would Ja'kal what?"

"Cure vampirism. Become mortal again." She lifted her head and stared at him straight in the eyes, and for a fleeting second, he caught glimpse of a young and weary woman holding the world on her shoulders. Why did she insist carrying it by herself? And where did these strange questions even come from?

"No." Ja'kal answered simply, framing her jaw when she, for some odd reason, actually looked surprised by his answer. "If you do not, Ja'kal will not. Simple as that."

"Why?"

By the moons, she really was doing this to him. _Now._

"Why not?"

"That's not an answer, Ja'kal."

"Why?"

Serana deadpanned. "Can you please take this seriously? I want a real answer."

"It is. Must a 'real' answer be complicated?"

Serana's mouth opened, as if to protest, but then it clamped shut and she looked contemplative again. Her gaze dropped to her hands as she idly picked at strands of his fur, shaking her head. "No, I guess not, but... But I still don't understand why, even if it's a simple answer."

"Because I want to be with you."

Another simple answer she seemed to struggle with.

"I wish to grow old with you, Serana. Or not at all, and live forever. I do not care what or who we are. I only care about this." He jabbed a finger at her chest, and felt the faint flutters of her heart. "This." He tapped again. "This is what I want. I want our hearts to beat hard and fast together, for each other. 'Undead', alive, does it matter? No matter what we are, every creature has a heart that beats for something. Mine beats for _you. _It is in your hands, and your hands alone. You are the reason it beats for. You command it. You are why I am breathing today; my life is yours."

"I don't want you to be some sort of slave or feel indebted to me or something, though. That's not why I turned you."

"I know." Ja'kal smiled warmly, stroking across her cheekbone. The way her eyebrows furrowed, conflicted and confused, was absolutely endearing. He loved how expressive she was when she finally _allowed_ herself to be. He aimed to rattle the cage and break the rest of her chains, just as she did for him and reminded him what it truly meant to live free.

"I wish I could give you the gift of what I see when I look at you, Serana. Then, and truly then, would you understand why I desire nothing more than a life with you; I do not care how or if it is an eternity spent in this _realm,_ or another. Have more faith in yourself; then again, it is your modesty that I also love. You are so humble, you do not yet realize just how remarkable you truly are." His core flexed as he leaned up and gently grabbed her head, pulling her until their foreheads rested together. He closed his eyes, smiling. "I hope, one day, I will be able to help you see what I see, because I know you do not believe your ears right now."

Silence answered him, and it was the only answer he needed. That she didn't deny or confirm had been a sort of confirmation itself. He opened his eyes and saw that her mouth was opened, then closed; opened, closed. Her jaw set, neck muscles rippling. There was an almost uncharacteristic kind of timidity that he had never seen before when she looked up at him, her eyes just inches away from his, screaming, wanting to reach out, suppressing it instead.

Something changed. A marvel and wonder and marvelous wonder struck across her features. She sat up straighter, resting her hands on his chest. "I don't want to see or hear it. I don't want to believe with my eyes or my ears." She then took his hands and guided them to rest on _her_ chest, a fierce resolve etched in every part of her voice.

"Make me believe, Ja'kal. I want to _feel_ it."

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_I am very much guilty of intentionally being a mean tease, yes lol. I hope this chapter made up for it somewhat. Even if it's a cliffhanger. I should change my account to sadistic bastard :P  
_

_**Translation**_

_Urada - _sorry

_Serushna - _beautiful

_Arina - _love (noun)

_Ari - _love (verb)


	22. Cute Little House Cat

_**Chapter 22: Cute Little House Cat  
**_

* * *

Growls filled the silence. It didn't come from either of their mouths. They stared at each other, and Serana was the first to bury her face in his neck to muffle her laughter.

And failed.

"Hungry, Ja'kal?"

His stomach answered for him. Ja'kal sighed, his hands sullen as he lazily rubbed Serana's hips, trying to goad some sort of decision now that his heart and hunger waged an all-out war. He tried to ignore the grumbling and paid loving attention to her neck, kissing languidly. Another growl. Ja'kal groaned. "Ja'kal has not stopped traveling since escaping Fort Dawnguard, there has been no time to eat. Ja'kal could not catch fish without you."

"_You_ couldn't?" Serana leaned back in surprise, and he cursed himself for piquing her curiosity. "Why?"

"Fish feel energy too." He tried to pull her back, hoping things could be left at that, and knew it was over when her brow arched. "Ja'kal gave off bad energy because he was frustrated and lonely. One fish stayed and taunted this one by jumping through Ja'kal's hands over and over again."

"So fish 'feel' energy and have the capability to mock cats, huh? I'd love to see you lose to a fish." Her teasing tone brushed his ego, and his chest puffed up in pride.

"Ja'kal did not _lose, _Ja'kal was just..." Quick, what was the most convincing excuse? "...Not as eager to catch for only one person."

"_Uh huh._" Oh, she totally believed him. "I believe you." Point proven. "Not."

Oh.

Well, then.

"But it's sweet you missed me so much that you couldn't catch fish. Good thing you're immortal," she loosely hooked her arms around his shoulders as she leaned further back with a wicked smirk. "Or else you'd have starved to death a long time ago."

"_Tsk!_" Ja'kal clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth. "Ja'kal is not _that_ bad! Serarina is bad for teasing this one."

"...Serarina?"

Good, she sounded amused.

"Do you like it? Khajiit shorten and combine words if... I do not know word in Tamrielic, but if same letters, we can combine. And end of Serana sounds close to arina; so instead of Seranarina, Ja'kal just decide to make it Serarina, yes? Does Ja'kal make sense?"

Serana had a blank look on her face. Maybe she did not like it, after all.

Then she smiled.

"You're always playing with my name." And the corner of that smile turned up just a touch bit more; this one may have looked sweet and ordinarily was, but there was certainly a devilish streak in her. He couldn't wait for the day to completely crack open her shell and see everything that hid inside. "I'm starting to get the sense that you don't like it."

"What? Of course I do!" His urgent need to defend and reverse this tragic misunderstanding took priority over everything else, and he grabbed her shoulders, ready to shake this nonsense out of her. "I am always thinking of it, that is why I am always playing with it. There is something new, something to be found to tie both of our worlds together. And-"

Why was she laughing now? And kissing him. Not that he complained, but the recent chain of reactions was borderline baffling. He smiled when puffs of air hit his lips in rapid succession, whilst Serana still failed to contain herself. Much to his dismay, she climbed off his lap and pulled on his hands. "Come on. We'll catch some fish; on _one_ condition."

"Serana eats some too, yes?"

"No. Well, yes, I suppose I could. But we cook it over a fire this time." She rushed her next words out in all one breath when he frowned. "Just once!" Serana tugged him, but he stubbornly remained on his seat in peaceful protest. She rolled her eyes. "You're always eating it raw, Ja'kal. I'm not kissing you if you do. Your choice."

What an easy choice.

"Fish."

"Are you serious?" Serana sighed exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I can't believe I'm not surprised by this. That is _not_ a good sign."

Ja'kal's hearty laughter seemed to startle her, and he leaned forward as he turned her hands so that he could steal a swift kiss to her knuckles. He lingered, only his gaze slithering up to hers, and smirked against her skin when her eyes glowed radiantly again. "Ja'kal is foolish, but not foolish enough to spit on the blessings you give."

"The... Blessings I give?"

"Yes, of course." Ja'kal straightened and framed her jaw, murmuring against her mouth. "Every time you touch me with your lips, I am blessed by a goddess." He smiled and kissed her laughter, skipping out in sporadic breaths. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. He liked those reactions the most and sought them out every chance he could get.

And then his stomach growled _again._

"Mor kha'jay," he sighed, turning into a pitiful whine when she stood up. "Noooo..."

"Yessss..." She whined back with the same tone; it made his blood rush every time she teased him, and he pounced up on his feet to snare her in his arms. Her laughter shook right through him and she pushed at his chest, but it barely budged him. He knew what she was capable of, what she could do if she _wanted_ to, and he pretended to eat her neck as he made gnawing sounds. They blindly walked backwards until Serana stumbled and dragged them into the pond; but when they rose back up, she had a tiny fish wriggling in her mouth, no larger than a quarter of their hand.

Ah hah.

_'Stumbled'._

It wasn't long before she took it out, holding the thing far away from her as she pinched it by it's tail. "Take it, take it," she urged, and Ja'kal took his sweet time as he sought free entertainment from her reactions to it all. She quickly punched his shoulder with her free hand, and he pretended it hurt as he nursed and rubbed it. She rolled her eyes. "You can starve or keep teasing me, your choice."

What a-

"I see that look, Ja'kal. Don't even answer that." She turned his palm up and dumped the fish in his hand; it popped in his mouth without thinking, and his cheeks puffed out at the dirty look Serana gave him. He didn't dare chew. As he opened his mouth and held his hands in front of it, she groaned. "Just eat it, it's too late now. And it's tiny."

Ja'kal swallowed it whole before she had a chance to change her mind. He smiled guiltily, then stole a swift kiss on the lips just to tease her even more. He laughed when she made no move to reciprocate and crossed her arms. It did little to intimidate him, and drew his eyes to her breasts instead. A pang throbbed behind his loins when he'd been horribly reminded of just how little fabric was in between her skin and his tongue, but his gaze lifted when she cleared her throat loudly. Her cheeks were dusted with a light blush.

He grinned as he reached for her hips, thumbs stroking sensually. "Ja'kal is very hungry for you too."

"Find another meal elsewhere, especially if fish are more important to you," she huffed as she turned, wading back into the pond to collect her floating clothes. Ja'kal would have been worried had he not caught glimpse of her smile. He swam after her and dove underneath, grabbing her ankles to pull her. Were it not for the cloudless sky and the strong moon, he wouldn't have been able to see much beyond the glowing eyes that peered back at him.

Though it did little, he framed her jaw and kissed her, forcing what air he had from his mouth into hers. He felt a subtle pinch above his hip and smirked, blowing again; his teasing backfired when he felt something dulled and softened rake down his chest, the water numbing the sensation. Her nails, perhaps? The thought alone made his feet paddle back up to the surface, dragging her along. He claimed her lips the second they could gulp for air, starving them even more.

Rumbles clenched his gut, but at least the water muffled the sound. He pulled her against his body, and their feet accidentally knocked each other until they established a synchronous rhythm. She buried her hand in the back of his mane, slight pain buzzing from drenched hair being pried apart even by tiny fingers, and he broke their kiss to catch the bountiful drops trickling down her neck.

"Ignore Ja'kal's stomach when we get out of the water," he murmured, curling his tongue around the front of her neck. He was pleased to hear a small groan bubbling in the back of her throat when he dragged his tongue along, scraping his fangs over her pulse. She grabbed his shoulders and gently pushed away.

"It won't take long, let's just catch some more fish for you and then we won't have to worry about it."

S'rendarr have mercy, for Serana had none to spare.

"Otherwise I won't stop worrying about it until I know you've got something in your belly. Just how long have you gone without eating or sleeping? When did you escape-"

"Serana, _afa. _Please." Ja'kal tried to, as politely as possible, sweep her hands off his shoulders; but, as every time she had wanted to, she overpowered him. When would he be just as powerful of a vampire as her? "This is most unfair. Come back, please. Ja'kal is not finished kissing you."

"I don't think you ever will be," Serana quipped with a wry smirk, chuckling at his exasperated look. "I'm trying to look out for you. Come on, stop being silly."

"Ja'kal can say with full confidence that he has never been more serious in his entire life."

"Oh, yeah, _now_ you are. The fate of the world can take a hike, I guess."

"See? You understand Ja'kal perfectly!" A roll of the eyes only encouraged his mischief, but sadly, Serana was a strong willed and therefore _very_ difficult woman to barter with. Not that he complained. Sort of. "It is most depressing when you are so far away from Ja'kal; very lonely," he sulked, even though her hands were still on his shoulders. She laughed and shook her head, then disappeared underwater again. It was a most unpleasant feeling to go from hot and boiling under the skin, electricity dancing through, to this cold emptiness. He tried to refocus that energy into something positive as he dove under, determined to catch every cursed fish so that he could get back to what really mattered most.

Within seconds, he reemerged... Empty-handed. He was too frustrated, and breathed a sigh of relief when Serana broke the surface with a couple more fish in hand. There was pride in her smile, despite the squeamish faces she made at the wriggling creatures, and Ja'kal rushed for the shoreline. "This one will get the campfire going!"

There was no way he could mess that up. He clamored out and gathered sticks and tinder as fast as he could, then set it alight with _magic__._ He glanced over when Serana hummed. "Fire? You're not afraid of it?"

"No?" He was confused, cocking his head to the side. "Should Ja'kal be?"

"You don't feel any... Urge to get away from it?"

"No." Ja'kal stared at the flames, and held his hand close enough to feel the warmth. It was a lot more intense than he remembered, but he liked it. He shook his head. "No urges. Ja'kal likes heat. Fire magic has always been the easiest to learn for every cub, because of the warmth of the sands coursing our veins."

"Huh. I guess it's not just exclusive to dunmers, but a khajiit thing too..." Serana climbed out and all too eagerly handed the fish to Ja'kal, who impaled them on a stick without any remorse whatsoever; that would teach them to taunt him. He was going to eat them whether they liked it or not; hopefully they did not do funny things to his stomach in revenge. Serana's lesson nearly went right through his ears as he salivated at the sight of the fish. "Vampires have an innate fear of fire; it's what we're weak to, like the sun. I thought it'd be worse for you because of your... Well. Fur."

"Serana is always thinking and learning about Ja'kal," he barely heard himself say, and then looked up at the woman that sat across the fire. That wouldn't do. He stabbed the sticks in the ground and propped them up with rocks, then crawled over to her, curling around from behind as he drew her into a sopping wet hug. She chuckled, blindly reaching over her shoulder to hook her arm around his drenched neck.

"Couldn't wait to dry, first?"

"Magic," he murmured, licking the corner of her nape. "Ja'kal wants to feel your whole body freeze. Serana is talented and can do it, yes?" There wasn't any response, and he tilted his head to get a look at her; her eyes were closed, and he smiled when he felt her back cool significantly. Her pants and bra stiffened and rustled with every movement, and the water from his fur gradually sunk into his skin to retain heat. "Ja'kal likes this more than warming up and drying by the fire. Faster, too."

He smiled when he caught the corner of her lips curl into a smirk; proud, as she deservedly should be.

"You're talented too," she murmured, her voice faraway in concentration. "I'm fairly certain you can do this with your own magic."

"Why, when Ja'kal has you?"

"You really like to make me work, huh?" Serana lilted teasingly, then gasped when he scraped his fangs over the junction of where her neck met her shoulder. His stomach growled, but it went ignored, as it should. The fish's smell enticed him, but was soon forgotten and blackened as he laid down, pulling on her shoulders. She twisted until she faced him, straddling his hips as she combed her fingers along the thicker fur protecting his ribs, frosting the tips with glinting ice. "There, you're a glorified ice sculpture now. _Very_ nordic," she joked under her breath, and he smirked when her playfulness soon melted into hints of uncertainty.

He refused to let her mind catch up with her heart.

Ja'kal's hands roamed freely up and down her sides, popping off a button on her pants as a not-so-subtle hint. He watched her reactions carefully, bold only when he knew she was in a state where she was too distracted to care about the lingering fear. The stench still made his nose tingle, and he didn't want to suffocate in it; nor her to drown in it.

"Your skin is so soft," he murmured as he sat up, holding her hips as he paid loving attention to her neck. He trailed kisses down to the top of her breasts and stopped when her chest rose sharply, bumping into his chin. Icey fingers tangled in his short mane again, tugging him; he didn't know if that was a silent plea to continue, or to stop. He glanced up at her, but her eyes were closed, her head lulled back. The smell of fear gradually became stronger. He needed to bring her mind back to _here._

Tentatively, he slipped his hand under her bra, and the tingles in the pits of his belly buzzed harder when her eyes snapped open on him, glowing fiercely. She was a force to be reckoned with; and it aroused him whenever her touches became rougher, stripping inhibition to throw caution to the wind. He kneaded her breast tenderly, shifting his pelvis away so that she wouldn't feel how hard he was. If he scared her off now, the proud lion would be reduced to a crying cub.

Nothing happened that told him he should stop, and he experimentally played with the clasp of her bra, testing the boundaries. She looked over her shoulder, then back at him, the fierce glow dulled somewhat.

"Ja'kal will not do anything you do not want, Serana," he reminded, undoing the clasp. The bra loosened, but he hadn't peeled it away. It was getting painfully hard to tame himself, though, and he warred with impatience when she just stared down at herself. "If at any point Ja'kal does, you can do what you see fit to this one. We both know you are the stronger one here."

"I wouldn't ever hurt you," she mumbled, thumbing one of her bra straps. "I'm just... The last time... Let's just say it wasn't a good experience. I'm... Afraid it won't be again."

"It will be. Ja'kal will make sure of it."

"How? You confessed before you don't know what to do."

Ja'kal took it upon himself to remove her bra and adjusted her to scoot down his thighs, so that he could comfortably bend and take a breast in his mouth. Her fingers shot back and clung to his mane again, and he felt resistance both pulling and pushing him; she didn't know what to do yet, it seemed. He never took his eyes off her, experimenting, learning, watching how her pupils constricted or dilated, glowed or dulled.

Any time he used his fangs to scrape down her breast, she'd hiss, and her eyes almost became as bright as the moons themselves. He dared to get more daring, his hand wandering low and slipping between the apex of her legs. She tensed when he rubbed her through her pants, praying to all the aedra and daedra that she would have the sense and serenity to remove the _offensive_ fabric so that she could feel more, and feel _better._ His own impatience got the best of him when he popped off another button and slipped his hand inside her smalls, however awkward of an angle, running a lone finger bare against her. She was slick and silken, and he groaned against her breast. Just tasting her was worlds better than his most explicit dreams; he couldn't wait to make those dreams come true.

"Ja'kal," she husked, her voice low and rough as rocks. The even rhythm of her breaths fell apart, shallow and sporadic, sometimes holding it whenever he dared to touch her in a different way. She clung to his shoulders, nails biting and stinging him. It fueled him, turned him on, and it took all of him not to rip her pants away and enter her right then and there. His loins were burning and aching terribly, his hips shifting as they sought contact.

"Can I take my loin cloth off?" He whined pitifully, burrowing his face in her neck. "It is _hurting_ me."

For some reason, laughter bubbled in her chest. She pulled back with a shy hunger etched in her eyes. "I don't think I'll ever understand how this hurts you, but you never even complained _once_ about the bolts that were in you. You know. Actual painful things?"

"I consider this an actual painful thing, more painful than the bolts." He tried to muster as serious of a face as he could, but she wasn't going to fall for it. She scooted down to his knees, chewing her lip as she stared at his groin. It was doing _horribly_ cruel things to him. "Serana, it is torture when you look at me like that." He couldn't take it anymore, and he untied the strings to toss the cloth aside. Her cheeks flushed a little darker, and her gaze was seemingly riveted to his loins, and that stench of fear became more notable. It was time for the charm offensive. "Do not look at it as if it is an angry giant that is about to club you to death, think of it as a cute little house cat. It is very friendly and enjoys being pet."

Laughter burst out of her and she held his hips, her head dropping dejectedly. The sheer raw volume that came out of her tiny body had surprised even him, and he grinned with pride when he caught little wheezes of how her stomach hurt. He liked these sounds. He needed to draw them out of her more often, to peel away the rest of her shell. But laughter turned into chuckles, and then she turned quiet again, staring with an intense look of concentration.

For the love of any and all gods, _please_ do not allow her to take this moment as a learning opportunity to sate curiosities; but when she reached for him with that contemplative spark in her eyes as she always had whenever she wondered about something, he knew he was _doomed._

"It really does have barbs..." She touched the tip of his penis, and it twitched at her command. She drew her hand back as if she was bitten, and Ja'kal groaned. He flopped on the ground in defeat when she ran a curious thumb along his length. "They're a little scratchy, but not sharp enough to draw blood..." His hands would be mutilated if that were the case. "So what could they even be for? I would imagine khajiit enjoy _mating_ without pain, if they like to indulge in... Well. Fun."

Mating. Fun. It was just as painful to hear her choose her words so carefully. Sex. Love. _Passion. _Why were they so hard to say? It was natural. Everybody did it.

Everybody except them, apparently.

"Khajiit do like to indulge in fun and love and passion, yes. I am a very passionate lover." Ja'kal muttered lifelessly as if he were a dwemer machination, his hopeless gaze on the sky as his _pride_ was poked and prodded by a half-naked gorgeous and intelligent woman; this was not his idea of fun, but if it helped her feel more comfortable, to ensure every aspect was a positive experience, then he would do whatever it took. He couldn't believe she was doing this to him right _now,_ though.

"Is it as painful as the books say it is, Ja'kal? What will you feel, is it uncomfortable for you too? Do the barbs... Move? Do they break off? Does it hurt if there's too much pressure?"

But she really, _really_ was.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_Don't send the Daedra yet please ;P No word of a lie, I was like Serana. I'm pretty sure my ex hated my guts when I decided, however awkward, to get curious instead of sexy lol. Sorry everybody, and sorry to all the guys who can relate to Ja'kal right now. I'm very mean to my characters and my readers :P  
_

_**Translation**_

_Arina - _love (noun)

_Mor kha'jay - _dark moons (general curse)

_Afa - _please


	23. Remember This Night Forever

_**Chapter 23: Remember This Night Forever  
The warning we love - **part 1 of NSFW, hope you enjoy!_

* * *

Little did Ja'kal know that when he encouraged for his _pride_ to be regarded as a cute little house cat, he made the biggest mistake of his life.

"So stroking is eventually satisfactory and pleasing if you do it long enough, right?"

Serana was going to be the death of him.

"Ja'kal prefers practical learning. Cause and effect. Trial and error." He lifted his head to look at the sadistic woman sitting comfortably at his knees. Why couldn't she at least scoot a little _closer?_ At least that stench of fear didn't pervade the air as much as it did a few minutes ago, now that she was happily experimenting and sating curiosities. He just wished her curiosity for _cause and effect_ was a little stronger than the ones prodding his pride with physiological questions.

"So I just...?" Serana tentatively reached, little fingers slipping around his girth. She pulled away when he hissed, but he grabbed her hand with both of his and clamped her fingers down on him with tender pressure. His head thudded against the dirt ground.

"Are the barbs hurting you?" It truly took all of his willpower to ask that, and not ask if he could rip her cursed pants off already. He caught a subtle shake of her head, her gaze riveted to their hands, cheeks slowly staining red. He guided her hand up and down, but the light pressure hadn't been doing much for him; not that he dared complain, now that she was _finally_ touching him. "See? The house cat is friendly." He grinned with pride when he earned a few chuckles. "It is not scary, yes?"

"This part isn't," she mumbled, and his heart cried outrage when she forcibly withdrew from the confines of his hands. At least she scooted closer. She combed through the thick fur of his chest as she sat comfortably on his thighs, unleashing a hail of curses to the high moons over the feel of fabric chafing fur, building static.

"We have all the time in the world, Serana. There is no rush."

An amused smile danced on her lips, and her brow arched as she bid her silent challenge. "I wonder why I have a hard time believing _you_ saying that?"

Ja'kal chuckled, and his core muscles rippled as he pulled himself up into sitting, determined to shatter the remnants of her fear. He stretched to the side to grab his loin cloth, tossing it over his _cute little house cat._ Her throat grew crimson when she just stared at it, and that scent gradually grew stronger once again. He needed to steer her mind away from bad thoughts if they were ever going to move forward. All he had to do now was wait until her curiosity took the bait, and was pleased it hadn't taken long; a secret trick he locked in his brain forever.

"What are you doing?"

"Ja'kal is setting up camp." He grinned wickedly when her brow hiked even higher, and she looked at him with _concern;_ probably thinking he was losing his mind. No lie, he felt like he was going to earlier. He pointed at his loins. "See? This is our tent."

Serana stared blankly, and then her eyes widened with realization. Rich laughter exploded from her tiny body and the sounds served as tinder for his proud grin. It was his turn to be caught off guard when her hand wrapped around his girth, using the loin cloth to protect her hand as she awkwardly stroked, pinching the cloth free when loose threads had gotten caught in between the grooves of the barbs. Purrs rumbled deep in his chest and threatened to destroy the last of his restraints, and the proud lion was deduced to a whimpering cub when she experimentally circled her thumb over the tip.

"Serana," he groaned, his head lulling forward to rest on her shoulder. He tenderly grabbed her wrist and pulled away.

"Is it hurting? Was I doing it wrong?"

"No, no. Trust this one, it is _very_ hard to do it wrong." Ja'kal laid back down, picking at the flaps of her pants as he put on his most pleading eyes. "But take this off, _afa._ This one promises he will not do anything." Not yet. "Ja'kal is looking forward to seeing _all_ of you."

Serana worried her lip and her cheeks flushed another shade when she looked down at herself, seemingly reminded that her breasts were already _freed_ from their own restraints. She timidly unbuttoned and sat up on her knees as she rolled her pants down, though her underwear stayed behind; not for long. Or at least, that was Ja'kal's hope. He offered a hand to help keep her stable as she wrestled the stiff fabric off one leg at a time, then tossed it aside and made herself comfortable on his thighs again.

Ideas raced as he tried to think through what would be the best position for her, his blood boiling at the thought of what the last _wafiit_ must have done to her. No words needed to be exchanged as both their hands explored the other's body, and he kneaded her breast, lost in the magnetic glow of her eyes as they brightened.

"If I have your permission, I want to please you first," he murmured, gliding down to hook his hands under her thighs. "Like this. Come higher."

Serana's gaze immediately dropped to the pitched _tent. _"Ja'kal, I don't... I'm..." Scared. The stench suddenly soared and burned his nose, and he shook his head.

"No. Over the house cat." He smirked when she chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Here," he squeezed her thighs. "Come up on my chest."

That boundless curiosity was sparked once more, and fear was _persuaded_ to leave. Serana looked as awkward as she most likely felt as she shimmied up, and he tapped his chest when she stopped at his stomach. Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Er... Alright, but I'm not sure how this is going to work."

"Good. That is the point." He was on the right track, then. There was no way the _wafiit_ would have ever thought to do this; and it gave Ja'kal a clean slate to work with, a body with sharp muscle memory that was not yet - _not ever _would be - traumatized. "You have full control, Serana. If at any point it gets too much for you, just tell me." He leaned and reached for his blindfold, then held it up to her when she stiffly sat on his chest. He rushed urgently when she frowned. "This will help you. Ja'kal will keep all his promises he has ever made to you. _Promise._"

Serana let out a slow, shaky breath. She warily took the blindfold, only for Ja'kal to steal it back and guide her to sit on his lower stomach instead. He came up as high as he could and claimed her lips in a tender kiss, waiting until her eyes slipped shut for him to slip the blindfold over her. She tensed again, and apprehension proved to be a persistent foe. He wrapped an arm around the small of her back to make sure she hadn't slipped down to her fear, cupping her jaw as he kissed her with all the affection and adoration and admiration that bloomed at the realization of just how much she _trusted_ him.

"Tonsh jer, Serana," he whispered softly, and the words tumbled out of his heart without thought. "Tonsh jer dorr dayth Ja'kal. Dat vaba jai serush sarefi." His lips curled in a warm smile and he pressed it to her mouth so that she could _feel_ it. "Serushna Serana."

"I don't know what half of that meant, but I like it," came the quiet quip, and they sniggered.

"It means: thank you for trusting me, it is the most beautiful gift." Ja'kal strained to keep himself up any longer and kissed down her throat, letting her know where he was as his hands slid down her sides when he laid back down. He pulled on her hips and encouraged her to straddle his chest, watching her hands awkwardly flail in the air with amusement, until they landed just above his head.

"How do you do this?" Serana murmured, bewildered. "I can't even tell where I am right now; forget navigating Skyrim." She smirked wickedly. "No wonder we got lost so easily."

"_Tsk,_" Ja'kal clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, pushing her knees outwards for space as he shimmied down. He left her hanging, waiting for an answer - a _verbal_ one, anyways - and struggled to keep calm when his nose was directly beneath her sex. Would this part be the same as khajiit women? It was both nerve wracking and exciting to find out. He reached up and curled his arms around the front of her thighs, smirking when her breath hitched noisily. He glanced up and saw her patting the soil to figure out where he was and struck before she did, pressing the flat of his tongue and gliding up along the slit, through her underwear. The fabric soaked a lot quicker than he expected.

"J-Ja'kal," she gasped, and her pelvis instinctively tilted towards him when he did it again.

Dirty fingers gnarled in his short mane, sending another surge of hot blood to his loins when she pulled his head _closer_ to her. He found it undeniably arousing that he got to both listen to her _and_ watch her, without her getting self-conscious or afraid as she would be if she were _trapped,_ perhaps on her back, or even on hands and knees. He'd make sure her body and muscle memory would remember nothing but pleasure from here on out.

Ja'kal stretched her underwear out to the side - no fur was a strange sight - and braced himself, chanting inside his mind to remain calm and not abandon inhibition. He **needed** this to be perfect. He groaned just at the strong musky scent filling his nose and craned his head higher to bury his snout against her, burrowing the tip of his tongue inside to taste her. She was incredibly soft and _warm, _and he loved the smooth texture of her skin slicking across his tongue. Her thighs tightened and she gasped again, her breaths shallow and sporadic, breathing his name every time he licked along and mixed his saliva with her juices. This all seemed to work exactly the same as khajiit; thank the moons, for he was already stressing out enough about what vampirism would do to their loins.

Bouts of her stench of fear still sprang up occasionally, and he'd stop to bite her inner thighs_,_ only barely mindful of his fangs when they scraped her porcelain skin. "You are in total control right now," he reminded her. "You have all the power in the world to decide what happens right now. You have given Ja'kal permission... Now it is time to give _Serana_ permission too."

One of her hands wandered up to her blindfold, and he stopped completely when that stubborn scent kept burning his nose. This was it. This was _too much. _He was at a loss of ideas on what else to do to help her overcome it; he restrained himself as best as he could and focused solely on her pleasure, to help ease her into the notion and the action, and still she had trouble.

What would it take to free her mind from it's cage?

Ja'kal did his best to curb his disappointment when she pulled off the blindfold and tossed it aside. He let her go and started to shimmy downwards, but she leaned back and rested her hand on his stomach, lowering and angling her pelvis until her sex was right in front of his mouth. His gaze snapped up to hers, the fierce fiery glow of her eyes were brighter than the moons and stars. The best part? It hadn't hurt him to look at.

"I want to see your eyes," she confessed, a hint of bashfulness in her tone. "Um... As long as it's alright with you..."

Why was she still thinking about everybody and everything else but herself? This _must_ be remedied immediately.

Ja'kal nodded, and it sent an electrifying thrill straight to his loins when he lifted his head and ate her out, their gaze never breaking. He learned quickly that she seemed to enjoy the start of a lick - the back of his tongue - most, gliding the thicker spines along and flattening them against her heavily-coated sex. Her hips began to twitch and rock in rhythm with him, and he curled his arms further around until his hands palmed her inner thighs, feeling the beginnings of quivers.

"_B__y the gods..._" Serana rasped, her stunning eyes disappearing when her head lulled back. She reached behind and rested both her hands on his stomach, her moans shy and repressed in the back of her throat. Even if they were uncertain and hidden away, just hearing them was infinitely better than even his most explicit - and silent - dreams.

All that was left that he wished he could do was whisper loving things in her ear, and made certain he would shower her with his affection the day they would finally join together. He sank the tips of his thumbs into her thighs as he buried his tongue inside her core, groaning as her tangy essence filled his mouth. Her hips jerked and she gasped, lowering more, and her seductive eyes finally came back into his world. Her silken walls fluttered and massaged his tongue, and her chest heaved erratically, whispering his name over and over again just like the night he'd accidentally caught her pleasuring herself.

"One finger?" Ja'kal asked pleadingly, and she stiffened above him. He wished he could set himself on _fire_ and kicked himself in his head when that fear lurked it's way back.

But she nodded.

Carefully, he unhooked an arm from her thigh and reached from underneath, ignoring the awkward angle of his wrist as he kept his gaze on hers the entire time. "If it hurts, just say the word and I will stop. I promise."

Serana nodded again, her shaky breaths creating little puffs of white in the chilly night air. "I think it'll be fine. I'm, uh... I'm close." She pushed herself upright and glanced behind her. "Don't you want... To feel the same?"

"I will, in the future. I wish my first time with you to be when you are ready to face that fear." He grinned sinfully. "Ja'kal has no issues pleasuring you like this until that day; you smell and taste much better than fish."

Serana's jaw hung agape as if she was smacked, and then her head fell dejectedly as she sighed. "I'm not sure if that's a relief, sweet, or offensive."

"Let us go with sweet, yes? It is the best of the three." The pad of his finger began to sink inside her core, but he waited until her eyes connected with his. "Are you sure?"

"No." She reached down and her little fingers hooked between the grooves of his knuckles, pushing gently. "When am I ever sure about anything, Ja'kal?"

"But for this-"

"I trust you." What she did contradicted that, though; she pulled his hand away and shimmied down until her hips hovered above his, kissing him as she tugged on his hand and flattened his fingers against her. Her breath hitched in his mouth, and she murmured against his lips. "Please keep kissing me when you do."

What on Nirn happened to her, the last time? It angered him just to think about it, and he kissed her ardently, waiting until she was the one that pushed his finger until the tip sank inside of her. He entered her slowly, stopping whenever she gripped his wrist hard enough to make him wince; she could break him without breaking a sweat.

Serana whimpered in his mouth when he was halfway, and she was torn between pushing his hand and pulling it out. He cradled her jaw with his free hand and kissed all over her face, planting one on each eyelid. It was a struggle not to _burst_ when he tasted a hint of a tear.

"You are in control," he reminded once more. "You are strong and beautiful for facing your fear; I do not know if I could ever do the same. I wish I could be _half as brave as you._" He trailed feather-light kisses back to her lips, whispering sweet nothings until she had been pushing his hand more than pulling it. Emotion - and guilt - welled up in his chest when her eyes fluttered and tethered to his, and he shook his head when concern marveled across her gaze.

"Ja'kal is sorry for pressuring you, for forcing you to face your fear. All this time, he thinks he will be better than the wafiit last time, and Serana is so kind and patient, never saying Ja'kal is a wafiit now, this time, too." Shame filled him and he twisted until he could hide his face in her hair. "Ja'kal is sorry that he is still having thoughts about making love to you even when you are terrified to be loved. This one wants to help you overcome it, but he does not know how."

"Ja'kal..." Serana turned her head, her _smile _pressed against the side of his snout. "You have nothing to apologize for. I understand; it's natural to feel that way and want to have a connection with the one you care about. I've... Felt it too. I wouldn't be trying this right now, otherwise." She pressed against his hand. "You haven't forced me to face my fear. You've _encouraged_ me and gave me the strength to do so." She pulled on him, then pushed, then pulled, and pushed. "Move inside of me, please. Make me feel good again. Make me forget that night and remember this night forever."

Make her feel good _again._ It was a simple admission that did things to his heart and stoked his determination back to life, his own doubts fading away, his admiration for her growing ever more. She was so humble, she probably still did not know - or believe - just how strong she truly was. He pumped his finger rhythmically inside of her, curling the tip to gently rake down her walls. Her lips sought out his, and he groaned when tiny fingers wrapped around his girth again, stroking sloppily.

"Serana-"

"I want to make you feel good too," she husked, pulling the loin cloth off. His pelvis twitched when she grabbed him bare, her thumb circling the tip. "This is our first time, ready to face my fear. I want you to remember this night forever with me."

Focus was the _mission._ He kept forgetting about what he was supposed to do, overwhelmed simply by her touch and smooth skin, her strokes emboldened over time. She kissed him passionately, desperately, her hips rocking to his hand. She propped her elbow beside his head as her chest lowered, her ample breasts rubbing against him, and Ja'kal struggled not to roll her on her back and bury himself deep inside of her. He moaned loudly as the pressure built and buzzed at the tip of his cock, his half-lidded gaze dazed and fluttering about to stay on hers.

"_Serana,_" he whispered pleadingly, pumping his hips as he imagined thrusting inside of her. He couldn't do this. He grabbed her hand and rolled until he pushed her on her back, clambering down until he slung her legs over his shoulders. He delved in with his tongue and suckled on her clit as he sank his finger back inside of her, picking up the pace. He needed her to come, and then he needed to run away. She trusted him.

And he was losing trust in himself.

Bestial urges screamed outrage, and a dark voice chanted horrible things in his mind. His blood burned and his fangs elongated. The whispers grew powerful, tempting him.

_'Dominate. Make her submit to you.'_

"Bad thoughts," he murmured, and something clicked. He withdrew in a panic and looked up at her. "What are these thoughts? They are not mine. I do not want them."

Serana groaned, the base of her palms digging into her eyes. "No... Why _now? _I'm so close..."

Why _what_ now?

"Ignore them, it's all we can do. I have them too." Her arms flopped out dejectedly and she looked down at him. "Let me guess, domination and submission?"

Fear coiled taut in his belly, and the hungry voice began screaming and clawing in his mind. He nodded guiltily. She waved at him to come up and hooked her hand on his nape as she pulled him for a kiss. "It's alright, I know it's not you. It's a result of us being vampires and usually happens when things get... Overwhelming. I've been having mine since back before the blindfold. You just have to ignore them and remind yourself that it's not _you._"

Ignore another person in Ja'kal's head?

"Give it a name of someone or something you really hate. I find that's what works for me, anyways."

Ja'kal looked up in thought. Then he glared at the air, the _disgusting_ name spat out with the most vehement of hatreds to be felt in all time. This was his greatest nemesis. He looked down at Serana, who already appeared to have a good idea, judging by her amused smile.

"_Boats._"

Serana laughed. "I knew it."

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_I am really sorry it's taken me a month to update this story! I got carried away when I rebooted an old one in another fandom and kept telling myself I would get back to this story as soon as I evened up the word count, then the chapter count, then... I just got carried away lol. _

_Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoyed part 1 of the NSFW so far, despite it's constant ups and downs. __I had trouble deciding how I wanted things to go between them (I have 10 different drafts of this scene) but I really couldn't just wave away Serana's trauma and forget it completely just because she's with someone she cares deeply for. If only all the bad times and pain in life could just be hand-waved away, right?  
_

_Anyways, hope to see you in the next chapter, cheers and have a lovely day!_

_**Translation**_

_Afa - _please

_Wafiit - _idiot

_Tonsh jer dorr dayth Ja'kal - _thank you for trusting Ja'kal

_Dat vaba jai serush sarefi -_ it is the most beautiful gift


	24. Zaji Big House Lioness

_**Chapter 24: Zaji Big House Lioness  
The warning we love - **__part 2 of NSFW, hope you enjoy!  
_

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"_Boats_ is too loud," Ja'kal confessed with great shame, his ears flattened. He had to force himself to take his hands off of Serana and rocked back on his heels, his tail tucked between his legs; he didn't have the courage to look her in her eyes. She had to be disappointed, especially now that he was repeatedly failing to push her over the edge of bliss.

All he could hear was the voice screaming to dominate her, and he was increasingly terrified and _nauseous_ and aroused by the degrading notion. He kept trying to tell himself he wanted to love her, to whisper affectionate things, but all his mind had were diabolical insults. He flinched when she pushed herself up on her elbows and reached for him, her fingers hooking under his jaw and around his nape. She curled a leg around his hip and threw her weight on that side as she pulled on his other side, effectively bringing him down until he was the one on his back.

Panic bloomed deep in his gut when she had sat incredibly close to the cute little house cat, until she swung a blindfold in front of his eyes. "Your turn," she murmured, a shy but seductive smirk pulling on the corner of her lips. "It's your turn to trust me, Ja'kal. Will you?"

Was that a trick question?

"Always," he replied without a speck of doubt, and she appeared pleased with that. She slipped the blindfold over his eyes and tied it for him. The darkness wasn't disconcerting, but her silence and lack of movement was. He stroked along her thighs and held on to her hips to know where she was at all times, his curiosity outnumbering the dark whispers. Her weight was no longer on him and her hips rose - she scooted up until she hovered over his chest, and blood pounded painfully behind his loins when her musky scent filled his nose. He lifted his head, already well aware of what she had wanted, only to find out he wasn't anywhere close at all.

"Not yet," she husked, a tender finger pushing him back down by the center of his forehead. Her hands came to rest on his stomach and he felt her own angle upwards, her pelvis tilting. This was only making the voices louder and more demanding with every breath he took of her seductive smell - and he wasn't allowed to please her.

_Maddening._

Fingers wrapped around his girth, then disappeared, and he groaned. "This is torture..."

"Sorry," Serana chuckled timidly, "I'm trying to figure this out. One more minute, please."

One minute was too long. "Of course. Feel free to take all the time you need," he bit through clenched teeth, _suffering_ inside for uttering such a damnable thing. Her sweet laugh was the only thing that was capable of lifting his spirits.

"I wonder why I don't believe that?"

Coy, and playful. Every faint touch and little lilt was tinder to the wildfire burning inside of him. He wanted nothing more than to rip this blindfold off and bury himself inside of her, _fucking_ her until her screams reverberated all the way back to the god damn castle for all those unworthy vampires to hear.

No. Not fucking. Making love. Making love. _Making love. _That was what he wanted, who he was. He admired her far more than her body - had fallen for her because of the beauty inside, opening his mind to appreciate the beauty outside as well. Ja'kal's hands were plucked away from her hips and he had no choice but to claw at the dirt to root himself down, and his ears flickered about as he tried to deduce how and where she was moving. Her knees bumped into his sides occasionally, and her scent faded.

"This is a difficult picture to paint," he murmured. "Can you paint it for me and tell me what you are doing?"

Serana hummed, and there was something throaty and provocative about how low her voice dropped. "Do I have to paint it with words?"

"There are other ways to paint?" Inquisitive hands wandered again, and he tried to draw a shape with them when he'd landed on her body. He stroked up and felt bumpy ridges - her spine? When he lowered and his hands came towards him, the path widened instead of narrowed; it was _plump._ A lump immediately choked him by his throat. "You turned around?"

Something wet and firm glided over the tip of his penis and his pelvis bucked for more. His fingers sank into her rump and he groaned when she'd done it again, licking him experimentally. There was an uncertainty in how she handled him - he sought to encourage her as he paid back the favor and lifted until her wet musky sex was pressed to his snout, and he mapped with his tongue until he sank inside of her. Her lips had only circled and sucked his tip, fingers sloppily stroking his girth. If only the barbs weren't in the way. He had half a mind to break them off so that he could feel her mouth along his entire length.

And it all disappeared _again._

"Noooo," he whined pitifully, pouring oil on the flames when she had playfully teased him.

"Yessss," she whined back, and he tried to imagine what she was doing as her hands propped on his abdomen, turning. It was hard to picture that instead of the sounds and faces she'd make if he just made love to her already. "How was, um... How was that? Did it feel good?"

Was that another trick question?

"It was very good," he blurted eagerly, "no one has ever done that for Ja'kal before. The barbs are frustrating. What is next to try?"

Hopefully his enthusiasm wouldn't extinguish her flames, and he feared that he had when she remained silent again. But her hands never stopped moving, and they began to slide up and down his chest, nails gently scratching. It sent pleasurable shivers everywhere, but the wait was becoming borderline painful. He needed release _now._

Serana exhaled shakily, and a second later, she lowered and dragged along the length of his cock. His hips nearly arched right off the ground and he purred at the silken feel of her folds running up along, her timid moan gracing his ears. She could try as hard as she wanted to, to be quiet; his ears and nose would pick up every little detail she thought she cleverly concealed. Every hitch, every pitch, every note - nothing would be missed. He sat up when she rested on his thighs and grabbed her waist, dragging her along him again for her.

"_Ja'kal,_" she husked, her voice cracking in the next moan that bubbled deep in her chest. He buried his snout in the crook of her sweaty neck and shoulder, repeating the motion over and over again until the pressure buzzing at the tip became unbearable.

"Are the barbs hurting you?"

"N-no." Arms wound tight around his shoulders, her breasts fully pressed to his chest. Her fangs scraped his shoulder, muffling herself as she bit. "I'm not ready though."

By the moons, that was _agony _to hear.

Ja'kal couldn't think of a suitable answer and pushed her away enough so that he could kiss his way down to her breasts, taking one in his mouth as he squeezed a hand in between their bodies to pinch her clit. She quivered and her seductive voice came out with more certainty - and with a couple _curses._ It pleased him greatly to hear them - to know that he was at least on the right track to dismantle the carefully constructed grace, and beckon for the more carnal instincts to come out and play.

"Inside me, please," she whispered as she hovered up for space, taking off his blindfold in one fell swoop. "Keep kissing and looking at me when you do."

Ja'kal nodded as he glanced down and watched his finger curl around her pubis, then looked up at her and met her lips as he began to sink his finger inside of her. Her hand buried in the back of his mane, the other holding the one inside of her by his wrist. She whimpered in his mouth and her velvet walls clamped down on his finger. He curled as he gently pulled out, and every shy little sound Serana made had the _house cat_ begging for attention.

"Ja'kal..." It was a whisper that grew louder, needier, and she had pushed his wrist more than she pulled. Her head lulled back and her eyes slipped shut when he inserted another finger, stretching and pumping as her hips rocked to his rhythm. Her walls tightened and her ragged breaths came out faster. He encouraged her to wrap her arms around his shoulders as he chased loving kisses all the way to her ear.

"I wish you could see through my eyes and hear through my ears," he murmured, "so that you could witness the beauty right now." He was graced by a sweat-slicked smile, and he whispered sweet nothings in her ear as he touched her with the utmost reverence, trying to quell _Boats_ as more selfish urges and vicious thoughts slithered back to corrupt his mind. The scent below was enough to drive him mad and he succumbed to it, slowly manipulating her until she had laid back down on her back. He came up to her with pleading eyes and kissed her to _bribe_ her. "Ja'kal is sorry for moving you around, back and forth, like this. But I love your smell and taste. Can I?"

Serana's flushed cheeks darkened even more, and she nodded, smirking subtly. "I better be better than fish."

"Come now, Serana is smart - you know better than that. That is a matter of debate best left for another day."

"Ja'kal!" She shoved him playfully and laughed, full of life, and he beamed a proud grin to have drawn out that voracious spirit hiding inside of her. He licked his way down her body, paying tender attention to her breasts. Hunger stirred and gnarled his gut when he'd watched the trails of saliva he'd paved down her porcelain skin, a stark contrast to some of the blemishes on her neck and rosy chest.

"Shiny skin," he noted as he settled down in his rightful throne, hooking his arms under her legs to draw them up on his shoulders. "Just like Ja'kal's shiny fur. This is a most pleasing fact to find out - making love is nutritious for human skin."

Serana's pleasant laughter made the hairs stand on the back of his neck, and it made him fall ever harder - he did not think it was possible. She propped up on her elbows and arched her brow as she shot a sultry look at him. "Nice try, Ja'kal."

"See? Serana agrees." He silenced any protest before it came as he dove in and dragged the flat of his tongue against her entire sex, smirking when she hissed, and pleasure mixed with lust as her eyes glazed. He reached for one of her hands and encouraged it to bury in his mane, aroused even more - he did not think that was possible either - whenever she had tugged him closer. His tongue burrowed in her core and he groaned as the musky taste flooded his mouth. She lowered on the ground and her back arched; the bottom of her jaw was all he could see as her head lulled up.

"_Fuck,_" she hissed when the thick spines of his tongue glided along her inner walls, and her fingers gnarled his mane, eliciting pain when it pulled on his scalp. His hips bucked into the ground when her moans lost their timidity and gained their volume. Her fangs elongated and she muttered something, but it was in an entirely different language. Her legs quivered and pressed against his head, tugging on him more roughly, mixing cusses with his name.

"I'm _so_ close, don't stop. Please just don't... _Fuck._" Serana lifted her head, and there was something in her eyes that he had never seen before - nor knew what it entailed. A thrill shot through him when her voice, full of want, commanded him. "Inside of me. Not your finger."

Fear spiked and tainted her scent. He warred valiantly, but he couldn't hold back any longer and slithered up her body until their sexes were intimately pressed together. The tip of his penis sank in and her supple body had grown as rigid as a boulder. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him down until she could hug him, her lips close to the shell of his ear.

"Please make it as painless as possible."

Ja'kal inhaled sharply, and it left him in a shudder. His heart hammered it's way up to his head and he nodded. "I am not sure of pain, Serarina, but I will go slowly. If you need me to stop, tell me. I will wait before we keep going - or not at all, if you do not want to. You are still and always in control. Ja'kal promises this."

It was one of the hardest promises he had ever made, because he wanted nothing more than to lose control. He waited until he felt her nod against his cheek, and gradually worked another inch of him in. She held on to him for dear life and hissed when the first of the barbs entered her. "Need me to stop here, Serana?"

"_No,_" she breathed, "keep going."

And so he did. Another inch, and another, until he eventually made it halfway. She was so stiff and his neck ached from the force of how hard she held on to him, and he whispered again. "How about here? Need me to stop here?"

"_No._" A little lighter, as if amusement was buried in her tone. It spurred on his playful side, and he'd only entered a _centimeter_ at best.

"And here?"

"Ja'kal," she chuckled, but it was replaced by a sharper hiss when he moved. "_Fuck..._"

"Ja'kal finds it very pleasing to hear when you say words you would never be caught saying otherwise. What is that word the others like to use at the castle?"

Serana let go of him and laid more on the ground, arching her brow at him as she smirked. It was as if her face was trying to scream: _'Really? **Now**?'_

Yes. Now. What better time was there to say these things except in the heat of the moment when he felt them?

"Scandalous," she helpfully supplied with the flattest tone he had ever heard. "You are so lucky I - _fuck!_" Her head threw back when he drove himself all the way to the hilt, albeit carefully, and he buried his snout against her shoulder, his fangs itching to scrape and blemish her flawless skin. He groaned as her walls tightened around him, the searing warmth reminiscent of sand digging between his toes. Her back arched again, allowing him to come just that little bit deeper inside of her, filling completely.

"I like it," he purred into her neck. "Scandalous Serushna Serana."

"Pretty sure this whole thing would be classified as _scandalous_ without me even saying _fuck,_" she rasped, circling her hips. She winced and grimaced, and he watched with worry.

"Are they hurting you? Ja'kal can attempt to remove the barbs."

"Y-you can do that?" She sounded so weak and her sheen complexion had glowed for the wrong reason, sweating out of agony. He withdrew as carefully as he could, surprised to feel nails sink into his rump as she held him against her. "Don't move."

"It hurts that much?"

How was he supposed to get out of her, then? He normally wasn't one to feel awkward - _ever_ \- but now he did; it didn't help when his mind painted pictures of them trying to go about Skyrim now, walking around with her arms and legs wrapped around him so that he never withdrew from her. It would have been an appealing and arousing prospect _otherwise,_ if she wasn't in so much pain.

"No. Just... Just give me a minute, please."

"Of course. Take all the time you need, Ja'kal will always wait for you."

Serana took a deep, shaky breath. She framed his jaw and leaned up to kiss him, her eyes slipping shut - and he smelled salt. Guilt wracked him and he kicked himself over and over again for acting rashly. If only he kept his promise. If only he actually controlled himself. If only he hadn't driven into her that last half. What if he tore something? What if she was no longer able to feel pleasure? He hadn't understood khajiit physiology, nevermind a human's. She was so close, and now he took that away from her completely. And-

"You're inside of me," she whispered, _smiling_ against his lips. "This wasn't as painful or scary as I thought it'd be. You're actually _inside_ of me."

"So... You are happy? You are not in pain?"

"I mean, it hurts a little, just like the books said but..." Serana chewed her lip and she opened her eyes - he was confused to see sorrow in them. "I had expected it to hurt more than my last time." It disappeared just as fast as it came, though it lingered, and her smile seemed forced. Then it melted away into something genuine and _sinful._ "Third rule, Ja'kal. Didn't you say you would explain in _great _detail in which I'd remember the time once our loins meet?"

Ja'kal's ears and tail perked. "Loins. You said it. You said loins."

"And no one can _ever_ know," she stated with a stern narrowing of her eyes, but he wasn't fooled with the way amusement danced behind her smile.

Memories backpedaled as he tried to remember what he was doing when he told her he'd explain these things to her in _great_ detail. His eagerness carried him away as he abruptly withdrew from her, only to tumble over a hail of apologies when she hissed and grimaced, and there was that spike of fear merging with the haunted look in her eyes. His brow furrowed with concern and he bowed his head in shame. "Ja'kal is sorry f-"

"No, no. It's not your fault. It's going to take me time, Ja'kal, and I don't know how much time. Just... Please try your best to be a little gentler and slower, okay?"

Ja'kal nodded, then stood up. The disappointment that washed over her face was a tragic sin, and he held out his hands, his tail wrapping around one of her ankles. "Come up. Ja'kal knows how to thank you for your patience - I remember the third rule." He helped pull her up into standing and circled around her, his pelvis pressed to her rump. His tail slithered around her knee as he pushed her towards a tree - exactly as how he had all done it before, except this time, it wasn't a mere contest.

"Ja'kal," Serana barely choked out, piecing the puzzle together before he even turned her by her hips, and he smirked as he did. He slid his hands underneath her thighs, muscles rippling beneath his fingers; what a delight it was to finally feel all of this without cursed fabric in the way. Someday he hoped to convince her for them to always walk around like this... So long as they were in the privacy of forests, at least.

Her back slammed against the tree and he relented when she winced, and he brought her forward enough to look over her shoulder. There were red indents marring her skin, like jagged streaks, and bits of the tree bark that broke off and stuck to her. He carefully rested her against the tree with an apologetic smile - especially when she had _just_ asked him to be gentler. He spread her legs as he pushed his hips between them, their intimate parts pressed together.

"I will ask this only one last time," Ja'kal dipped under her jaw, scraping a fang against the edge of her throat. He curled and dragged his long tongue around the front, his voice dropping huskily. "Are you ready for Skyrim to hear you, arina?" Thoughts lurked back in, scratching and clawing at him as _Boats_ demanded he make her submit. Impatient and irritated, Ja'kal growled. "The only thing she will submit to today is _pleasure,_ not me." He received no such answer and pulled away to look at her, worried, but her eyes glowed brightly and they were fixated on the _cute little house cat._

Ja'kal grinned. "I am the cute little house cat. You are the zaji big house lioness." He wondered what kind of lover she would turn out to be as soon as her instincts took over. Knowing what he had of her, she would most definitely be _zaji,_ and strong, and patient, and curious, and kind. That she had even been willing to explore what pleasured him just as much as herself opened a world of excitement for him; he couldn't wait to explore not just her body, but what they could _do_ to each other's bodies.

Serana chuckled, though that smell of fear still lingered and burned in the faint recesses of his nose. Her piercing gaze snapped up to him as she smirked. "The only thing he will submit to today is _pleasure,_ not me."

"Well... Ja'kal would not object submitting to you."

"_Ja'kal,_" she sighed exasperatedly, rolling her eyes. "Don't give my _voice_ any ideas." She framed his jaw and pulled him harshly, nipping his bottom lip with her fangs. He hissed as pain laced his lip and nearly slipped inside of her when his hips jerked forward. He adjusted how he held her, fingers sinking into her plump rump. Her toned legs hooked around his waist and he growled when she bit his lip again, her throaty voice dropping deep in her chest. "I'd like to see you try to get Skyrim to hear me."

Challenge already accepted.

Ja'kal looked down and angled his pelvis away until the tip of his cock lined up with her sex, and he chanted _"slow" _for himself as he fought not to let his eagerness get the best of him. _Again._ _As usual._ Her arms squeezed under his shoulders, and his restraint was tested when her nails were sharp enough to cut through the thick hide of his back and reach his skin, raking down as he buried himself inside of her to the hilt. All he drew was a suppressed whimper in the back of her throat. That just wouldn't do.

"I am going to move now," he whispered as he withdrew inch by inch, then pushed back in with the utmost of caution, waiting until he hoped she had fully adjusted to him. He watched her bright eyes first for any signs of pain, and only caught flickers of it. Her whimpers and groans still remained stifled as he moved, but when her head lulled back against the tree trunk, he dared to pick up the pace to _wake up _what hibernated inside of her.

Tingles buzzed and shot through him when he pushed deeper, faster, and he groaned loudly when her fangs pierced the meaty muscle of where his neck met his shoulder. Pain burned across the width of his back as her nails continued to mark him, goading his bestial nature to take over. He squeezed her rump hard enough to force a gasp out of her as he pounded into her, his purrs melding into growls as a desperate need to hear her _scream_ consumed him.

"Ja'kal," she chanted under her breath, her voice hitching and gasping when he'd sought to catch her off guard on each thrust. Pressure built and he fell apart when a throaty moan finally slipped out of her mouth; her chants turned from _"Ja'kal" _to _"I'm close", _the vulgar sounds of wet flesh slapping and smells of musky sex filling the air. He roughly pulled on her rump every time he thrust into her, barely mildly aware of something wet leaking down his back.

Serana suddenly kissed him, whimpering inside his mouth as her entire body stiffened; he hadn't slowed as he continued to ravish her, urgently seeking to reach the peak and step over the edge. "Mor kha'jay," he whined, "this is the only thing Ja'kal does not like about vampirism. It takes him too long... This is more frustrating than not catching fish."

Laughter surprised him, and he pulled away to stare at her in disbelief that she was laughing right _now,_ of all times. It was as if he had unlocked an entirely different woman - not that he was complaining, as he was most pleased with these turn of events. He withdrew when she unhooked her legs, and he was pushed away with such force that his tail was no use to recover and break his fall. He gulped nervously as the bright orange eyes bore into him, and there was a mesmerizing and sinfully seductive way just in how she had walked over, straddling his knees.

Bruises marred her skin from her neck to her thighs, and he barely remembered even grabbing her there. Her fingers coaxed through the fur of his chest and made sure he stayed down as she hovered above him. Her fangs were still elongated, and she ran her tongue along the tip to clean off the blood - _his_ blood. This newfound confidence and dominance sent another hot-blooded surge straight to his loins, and her hands trailed down to push on his thighs as she leaned over, taking the tip of his cock in her mouth.

"_Sera..na..._" It was barely choked out, and he moaned as she ran the tip of her tongue in between the rows of the barbs. He closed his eyes, breathing raggedly, and it took all the willpower he could ever muster to force the words out. "Ja'kal likes this very much so, yes, but he is also sorry for complaining - you do not need to do this if you do not want to."

"I do want to, especially if it makes you feel good; and it's not fair if you're the only one who does it." She kissed the apex of his penis and trailed up his body, smirking when her face hovered just above his eyes, her ample breasts just under his jaw. Her breath smelled of blood and sex, and it drove him _wild._ "Besides, khajiit aren't the only ones that like to indulge in 'fun and love and passion', and you're not the only passionate lover." Her core - hot and slick with her essence - slid over his cock, and she braced her hands on his chest as she positioned herself on top of them. His whiskers flared when something about all of this felt very familiar.

Especially when she made no move to _move._

"Testing Ja'kal's control, Serana?" The words came from memory alone, and as soon as they tumbled out of his mouth, _horror_ gripped him. A sinful smile tugged her lips.

"More like..." Her finger ran down his chest, teasingly brushing the part of his cock that was exposed between them.

He prayed she saw the screaming in his eyes.

"...Your patience."

_Zaji big house lioness_ has turned out to be a passionate and powerful temptress indeed; he had almost wished for the curious compassion and shy explorer to return instead. But that was only because: "Ja'kal has never met anyone more _evil_ than you, Serana. This one is sure he said that he would not object to submit to **you.** Not _torture._"

She laughed.

* * *

_**Translation**_

_Zaji - _sexy

_Arina - _love (noun)

_Mor kha'jay - _dark moons (general curse)


	25. Dovahkiin Got Your Tongue

_**Chapter 25 FINALE: Dovahkiin Got Your Tongue**  
_

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"Now that I think about it, I'd say we've finally got the third _thjizzrini _down pat. Fusozay var var," Serana hummed with an alluring smirk tugging the corner of her mouth. She was so proud, so _cocky,_ and he loved every second of it. It was confidence well deserved - confidence that was irresistible. Ja'kal didn't get much practice out of the more passionate adjectives he made a _point_ to learn back when he was first taught Tamrielic, and now he finally got the chance.

"Yes, we have. And you are fascinating," he tested on his tongue, though the word came somewhat clunky; it didn't deter him. "Captivating. Ravishing. Bewitching."

Serana propped her hands on either side of his head and leaned down, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Those all mean the same thing, Ja'kal."

"I do not get to use them often. Let me have my fun, you erotic succubus."

Laughter engulfed him and she shook her head. Her chuckles skipped against his lips when she lowered to kiss him, whispering. "Erotic succubus? _Really, _Ja'kal?"

"You will get used to hearing them soon enough, like zaji."

"Okay, but just... Not erotic. Please? _Sexy - _that's still so strange to say - was already pushing it for me. And I'm not entirely sure about succubus."

"Are they not zaji women that seduce men?"

"Well, yes, but they're _demons._"

"Oh." Ja'kal stared blankly. And then his eyes widened, stumbling over his words as he blurted with a sense of urgency. "_Oh, _arina, Ja'kal is very sorry, this one did not mean-"

"It's alright," Serana laughed, kissing him again. "I understand. You'll have to work a lot harder than _that_ to offend me; and I know you always have nothing but good intentions." Bless this patient _goddess_ with the power of the moons. She trailed off the side of his mouth and along the curve of his jaw, coming up to nibble the tip of his ear. Her breasts brushed the underside of his chin and his hands wandered with minds of their own, praying she'd forgotten how she aimed to torture him.

Ja'kal angled his head down to take a breast in his mouth, mindful of his fangs the way she was not - but he suspected that was deliberate. Every part of his body still buzzed and ached and screamed for release; impatient as he was, he begun to stroke himself in a desperate bid to reach the peak.

He was caught off guard when she grabbed his wrists and _pinned_ them above his head.

"Mm-mm," she husked, her wicked smirk flooding his world. "You might always have good intentions, Ja'kal, but _I don't._" Her pelvis pressed to him and she glided along his cock, and his hips instinctively jerked for more as a low purr rumbled deep in his chest. Then she sat and did nothing.

"Mor kha'jay, Ja'kal was praying that you would forget..." He looked up at the tiny fingers that couldn't even wrap around his broad wrists, marveling at how such a lithe woman could be hiding _this_ much power. One look at their bodies - his muscular and hers lean - would have tricked anyone to guess that he could easily overwhelm her, if he wanted to. He tested her strength as he tried to lift his wrists, and was _almost_ terrified that she showed absolutely no struggle in holding him down. His wrist was easily the size of her _shoulder._

"Very zaji," he whispered, grinning as he looked back down at her. Her eyes had lost their _innocent_ brightness, burning and consumed instead by carnal sin. There was a sort of bashfulness, though, and her hands slid down to hold him by his elbows as she lowered to kiss his chest; the thick fur got in the way of feeling much.

A problem that _must_ be remedied immediately.

"Serarina, I will borrow your knife for a minute, yes?"

"W-what?" Caught off guard, she leaned back to sit on him with a concerned look. "For what?"

"I must cut something off. It will not take me long, I promise." Ja'kal sat up and gently encouraged her to get off of him, rushing over to their things to collect her dagger from it's scabbard. He walked a safe distance away so that he wouldn't get his fur all over their clothes and tugged fistfuls, crudely shaving as much as he could until unruly and untamed turned to smooth. He glanced over his shoulder when Serana burst out laughing, the infectious and rich sounds bringing a swift grin to his face, even though he hadn't known what was the cause.

"All that work to _impress_ me with your shiny fur, and you're getting rid of it?" Her voice danced with poorly repressed amusement, and she rose, sauntering over to him. He froze at that incredibly important point and whirled to her, not putting up a fight whatsoever when she nimbly extracted the dagger from him.

"Ja'kal just wanted... To feel your lips..." He looked down and ran a sullen hand down his torso, his tail flickering in frustration - at himself - and uncertainty. How could he have been so foolish and rash? But then her fingers coaxed through his back, and weight disappeared as more fur dropped at his feet. "Serana? Do you not hate this?"

"No, of course not. But just so we're clear, don't cut off your tail next," she chuckled, peppering freshly shaved spots on his back with kisses. Tingles buzzed and he felt the warmth of her breaths seep through more easily, sinking into his skin. He winced when she caught a place that _stung_ though, and she clicked her tongue off the roof of her mouth as she tenderly ran her thumb along a linear path, burning along the way. "Oh, Ja'kal... I'm really sorry about this. Does this hurt at all?"

"A little." He tried to look over his shoulder, rushing to the rescue when her brow furrowed with worry. "It is okay. What is wrong? Have ma'jota burrowed in my fur again?"

"Again?" At least her brow arched with amusement now, as it always should. "Am I about to see some sort of flea infestation, Ja'kal?"

"N-no, Ja'kal always takes baths to make sure they _drown._"

Serana smiled to herself as she continued to trim away his fur, her fingers running through a lot more gently. He noticed most of the stings were along his upper back, and he searched his memories for what could have been the cause - or why Serana was apologizing for it. He did not remember her attacking him. She always ran a tender finger along the paths, and there were _many_ of them, kissing each one. He could have _sworn_ he heard her mumble something about healing, and he smiled at a distant memory.

_"Mother taught this one as a cub that wounds heal faster if you kiss them."_

He still remembered her nervous laughter over the notion, and how it had been one of the first moments where she willingly embraced him without that stench of fear tainting the air. All because of her instinct to _comfort_ him over the painful revelation about his brother - now his _enemy. _He would never forget that day, no matter how much it hurt.

For it marked the beginning and the first time they exchanged saying: "Ja'kal ari jer."

Her breath hitched, and her tone _danced_ with the words that were beginning to roll off her tongue as if she'd been speaking in Ta'agra all her life. "Serana ari jer zath."

"You still make the good thoughts louder," Ja'kal murmured, listening to the swipe of the blade cutting away his fur. He tried not to shiver when she'd gotten to his lower back, close to his tail - the area far more sensitive than anywhere else. "_Boats_ disappeared." She hummed, and planted another kiss between his shoulder blades. He melted, contented with the feeling of her _lips,_ and he turned around to cup her small jaw, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. "Thank you for this beautiful night, Serana. You have given Ja'kal the greatest gift of them all."

Serana angled her head so that her curved nose could still conform to his snout. There was a _smile_ in her voice, even if he couldn't see it, being this close. "Trust?"

"Not just that."

"Pleasure?"

Ja'kal huffed before he could think to stop it. "Not when you tortured me." Her sweet, _sweet_ laugh brushed his lips, and was soon replaced by hers. She hooked her arms around his shoulders; stings diffused across, but he ignored it as best as he could. Truly: what happened there? If only he had a mirror to see.

"That could change, if you stopped stalling."

"You are just going to continue torturing me."

"I promise I won't," she chuckled, her hands worming into the back of his mane to hold his head closer to her. "I want to say thank you for sharing _your_ gift with me, the one you've given me since the very beginning." That piqued his curiosity, but even when he searched her eyes, he could not magically pluck an answer from them. The way they had softened and glowed now was a riveting sight he committed to memory - a sense of serenity he had not seen since the time he had encouraged her to reach a state of clarity as she became _one_ with the river creek, to catch fish. She rose on her toes and pulled on his head as she pressed her lips against his firmly, whispering ever so tenderly. "Your _heart._"

"That is your gif-"

Thunder clapped suddenly, and splitting cracks alarmed them as trees thrashed, bending to a wind harsh enough to penetrate the forest. Serana looked up, though Ja'kal rushed for his blindfold. He just barely caught glimpse of her wrestling her clothes on before he tied it around his eyes, and smirked when he felt something thrown at him, catching it in his hands to decipher what it was before he immediately threw it over his shoulder.

"We are in mortal danger, Serana-"

"Not a thing for immortals!"

"-and there is no time for me to put on pants!"

"I will _freeze_ you where you stand if you don't," she warned with a most menacing tone, enough to elicit a more fearful shiver than the powerful roar that ripped through the air. "What manner of creature is that?" That she still seemed to sound more _curious_ than terrified was a mystery to him. "I've never heard of anything like this!"

S'rendarr willing, hopefully they would not see it either.

Whatever it was, Ja'kal was not the least bit ashamed to tuck his tail between his legs when a malicious aura tainted the air. He wrinkled his nose in disgust and covered his snout, whining pitifully as it's power grew, sucking the strength from his knees. A sharp headache split down the middle of his head and he kept wiping and rubbing his nose, for what little good it did.

"It is _furious,_" he hissed, "it is consumed with a need to destroy."

Distant cries cut through the air - rallies and shrieks alike. The earth shook beneath his feet and he panicked, his tail swinging feverishly in the air to keep his balance as a deafening explosion rocked the world. He slapped his hands over his ears and growled, barely registering Serana's hands on him. He pulled his blindfold down his neck, knowing it was no thunderstorm, and donned his clothes at her insistent behest. Another explosion had him reeling to protect his ears, and then his eyes _burned_ as a fire burst to life at a group of trees, eating them away at a frightening rate.

"Go, go, we have to _go!_" Serana grabbed his wrist and guided him as he haphazardly tugged the blindfold back up over his eyes. He stumbled and tripped over his feet, disoriented by the loud bangs and roars, but the intense heat licking his nape spurred him on, his heart pounding at his throat. He may not have been afraid of fire, but he was afraid of _dying,_ and a part of him was selfishly grateful to be protected by the blindfold as Serana lead them to safety. He knew they were in the clear when she stopped abruptly, her hand tightening around his wrist - painfully so.

"By the Void..." Her voice trembled. "I don't believe it..."

"What? What is it?" He still wasn't foolish enough to remove his blindfold, but he was forced to pull it up and tighten it around his _ears_ when the creature's guttural roar pierced clearly, without the forest's protection. He reluctantly opened his eyes and Serana and him gaped in disbelief, both dumbfounded and mesmerized by the majestic creature flying in the sky. It's wings beat down and created powerful gusts of wind, knocking an entire _battalion_ of soldiers - stormcloaks, by the looks of their uniforms - to the ground. The forest beside them was razed to the ground and turned into mere soot within minutes.

"A dragon. An actual dragon," Serana muttered, gripped by horror and awe and respect. And then she laughed - _laughed!_ Sometimes Ja'kal truly worried about what was going on in her mind. "I can't believe it. It's not enough for vampires to threaten Skyrim; now it's dragons? What's next? Crazy cultists and daedra running amok?"

"Do not jinx it," Ja'kal murmured, shielding his eyes with his hand whenever he saw the dragon's jaw open, and a thunderous crack split the air. "What do we do, Serana?"

"We... Have to do something, don't we?"

"Yes."

A beat. And then both of them replied in perfect synchrony.

"Like running."

"Like fighting."

It was no mystery what belonged to whom.

Ja'kal shot her his best pleading eyes. "Serana, _afa, _let us think very carefully about this. Ja'kal made for a poor vampire hunter. What do you want this one to do? Seduce a dragon?"

"Hm. A charm tactic, I would've never thought of that." Serana smirked when his face fell flat. "What? It worked well on me, didn't it?"

There was something horribly wrong with where this was going, when it should have been going in _reverse._ She was the serious one, the thinker, the planner - and now they have swapped roles. Ja'kal was sure this marked the end of the world because of it. He tried to root his tail into the soil when she tugged on his hand, walking backwards as her playful gaze stayed glued to his the entire time. There was also something incredibly wrong with this picture she was painting for him.

"See right there, behind you? Yes. That would be a dragon _eating_ a soldier." Ja'kal deadpanned, however morbid, even as the soldier's nightmarish screams carried across the plains. It only drove the point home that there was a very real and fatal danger - to mortals and immortals alike. How she had been this brave and brazen to this degree had completely mystified him; but now that he thought of it, she was never afraid of battle.

"Exactly my point: we can't just stand here and watch, Ja'kal. Who do you think is going to stop that dragon, if we don't?"

That she had, likewise, been confident to even be able to _defeat_ a dragon bewildered him entirely. He shot an exasperated look. "You mean _you?_ Ja'kal cannot fight."

"You once told me you weren't always like this." Serana tugged on his hand more insistently. Curse her flawless memory. "I know you can fight; you just choose not to."

"Serana. That. Is. A. **Dragon**. This is not a good time to remember _how_ to fight, even if I choose to." He cringed and slapped his hands over his ears when the beast's victorious shout tore through the sky, and then it took to the air once again. His gaze glazed over the mass of dead bodies in despair, his heart crying outrage over the callous disregard for life, and the passion to destroy it.

A passion he could _relate_ to.

Ja'kal snuffed it and resisted Serana, stepping back as he pried away with all his might. For once, frustration marred her delicate features - frustration at _him,_ but this was better. It was _safer._ There was a difference to him being consumed by lust, rather than bloodlust, and vicious voices stirred deep within as the dragon's roars _challenged_ him, taunting something inside of him. When another soldier was cut down, the beast laughed - _laughed!_

And Ja'kal ran.

...Towards it.

Serana's shouts fell on deaf ears - literally, when he soon cast an illusion spell to _mute_ the blue world and shield his ears. He cloaked himself as he ran, knowing he'd be sniffed out. He just needed to buy enough time to get his hands on a weapon he felt comfortable with, and to not be attacked by the leftover band of soldiers, lest they saw the vampire instead of the khajiit. He weaved in and out of the battlefield, always watching where the dragon went. His eyes widened when he saw ice spikes flung at it, impaling a wing, and the jaw opened - probably screaming.

But then it swooped down, flying straight for _Serana,_ and Ja'kal charged at the beast with a measly dagger, desperate to help her. He jumped on the tail, curling his own along the side for balance as he raced to climb to the head, skewering the dragon's eye with his dagger. He was flung off and yelped when he crashed into a tree, covering his ears when his spells wore off, and the world threatened to make his brain bleed from the inside out.

"Ja'kal!" Serana yelled, rushing to his side. "Ja'kal, get up! It's coming!" She dragged him by his elbow, hoisting him up enough to throw him aside, and her scream ripped through the air when the dragon took flight _with _her, it's talons on it's feet curled around her body.

Ja'kal crawled towards the _grave_ of soldiers for another weapon, grabbing a bow he knew he couldn't shoot; only Dra'kul did, but he didn't know how else to get the dragon down. He looked up in the air, his jaw dropping at the sight of an entire wing slowly encased in ice, awestruck by Serana's sheer will in a fight - not to mention how far her magical prowess stretched. The beast dipped notably and released it's hold on her, and Ja'kal charged off, pounding on all hands and feet until he dove to catch her, embracing her as he turned to take the brunt of the impact when they crashed back into the ground.

More soldiers joined the fight - legionnaires, teaming up _with_ stormcloaks. Arrows blotted the sky, and Ja'kal could only watch, the strength already drained from his body. His lungs burned, starved of air, and he gulped as much as he could, holding Serana as tightly as possible. She wriggled in his arms but he refused to release her, _afraid,_ cringing from the overwhelming input of noise as rally cries and roars and Serana _still insisting _they had to fight had assaulted him.

"We can't stop, Ja'kal. Nothing is safe if that dragon stays alive. I know it hurts and I know you're tired, but-"

"No more," he hissed, squeezing her as he buried his snout in her hair. "We are running away from here. I will not see that thing take you away from me again."

"First you want to run, then you go in to fight, and now you want to run again?" She huffed. "Fine, we'll do this your way." Serana bit bitterly, and hearing the venom in her tone _hurt_ more than anything else; but they had done enough, fighting to save a country that would sooner kill _them._ He did not care if the world burned, so long as Serana was safe. He let her go so they could climb up to their feet, but as soon as she did, she took off running after the dragon again.

"Dran khrassa!" Ja'kal freed himself of his robes as he took off sprinting after her, frustrated and helpless when she had even bested him in _speed. _His blood boiled and another voice - not Boats, or was it? - gnawed away at him, demanding he conquer not just the beast, but the one who refused to listen to him. He knelt to the side and scrambled to pick up a battleaxe, never slowing down in his pursuit of her, especially when he caught wind of a legionnaire's cry.

"Troll's blood, her eyes... She's a vampire!"

"Serana, get out of there!" He growled, but it fell on deaf ears as she continuously barraged the dragon with ice spikes until it's wings were shredded, and it could no longer take flight. He knocked down a stormcloak that took aim at her with a bow, his entire torso twisting as he swung the battleaxe across and hissed a warning to the other soldiers. "Touch her, and this khajiit will _bleed your bowels dry, _stupid humans. We are helping you with this dragon."

"Fine," one of the stormcloaks barked, "but you better leave us alone after we take it down!"

"This one should be telling _you_ that, jetwijijri," Ja'kal seethed, then charged to join Serana and a band of others as they continued to poke and dodge the beast's attempts to slash them with it's feet, or eat them. It's jaw opened and he tackled Serana to the ground, between the dragon's feet, as it unleashed a flurry of fire from it's mouth. "We do this your way," he yelled to be heard above the roar. "But after: we run before these soldiers try to take your life _again!_" He twisted when the dragon began to dip it's head to them and he blindly swung his axe, catching and slicing the beast's tongue.

Serana only grunted, or he thought she did, and bumped her hips up as she rolled to be the one on top, tirelessly reaching out to the dragon's foot. Ice expanded from her fingertips, and Ja'kal reeled the battleaxe across his torso before he slammed the shaft into the ice, making it crack. Agony howled - both the dragon and the khajiit, and he shimmied out from underneath Serana as he gauged to strike the beast's tail. He hoisted the battleaxe above his shoulder and used all his weight to drive it down; the blade buried halfway in, before ripping it out and climbing up on the tail again.

Laughter erupted from Ja'kal, as he took great pleasure out of _dominating_ this majestic beast and making it bow to him. He gleefully took a running leap as he aimed to sink the axe into the skull, though he was flailed off in a last feverish bid before the dragon finally tumbled down to it's death.

Ja'kal cried out when he slammed down on his shoulder, and excruciating pain soared up to his neck. He cradled his arm by the elbow and rolled on his back, whimpering at the sharp throbbing, barely registering Serana's face hovering over him. His world was engulfed by the sounds of gale squalls, and he screamed when his blood boiled ever hotter - as if he was set on fire.

Something filled his belly, unnaturally, sating his _soul. _The anger and bloodlust that had so easily and blindly consumed him had calmed and flushed out of his system, instilling the sense of serenity he had struggled for _so many years_ to achieve; and with it, a sense of great shame for how he behaved and thought of Serana. He closed his eyes when they _burned,_ his voice drenched with guilt. "Ja'kal is sorry, Serana."

"For what?" She carefully slid a hand under his neck, cradling under his head.

"For everything. Ja'kal is deeply ashamed. This is why he does not want to fight; something worse than _Boats_ comes out, consumed with a need to destroy - like the dragon."

Serana hummed, and her cryptic answer left him confused for eras to come.

"Ja'kal... I think it's because you _are_ a dragon."

* * *

_**TO BE CONTINUED IN: TICKLE THE DRAGON'S TAIL (NOW PUBLISHED)**_

_**Author's Note**_

_That's a wrap for this arc! I know this finale came out of nowhere, but I still hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will be continuing Serana and Ja'kal's story in the sequel Tickle the Dragon's Tail, where there will finally be a larger focus on plot now that the dragonborn arc will be integrated with the drama of Harkon and the Dawnguard. Of course there will still be (naughty) goodies in the sequel, now that Ja'kal and Serana are securely established, so don't worry. There will be plenty more chances for them to 'explore' each other - I mean, Skyrim. ;)  
_

_Thank you to everyone who has been following along on this journey! When I first started Ja'kal's story, I did not at all expect the reception that it got. Thank you to both reviewers and those who PM'd me personally, you lit a fire under my wrists and encouraged me to not just keep writing, but to figure out ways on how to improve it too. __Of course, if there is anything I can improve on, feel free to let me know! Writing is a pleasurable hobby but writing crappy stories isn't a pleasure for anyone :P_

_Cheers, have a lovely day, and hope to see you next time in the sequel!_

_**Translation**_

_Thjizzrini -_ foolish concept(s)

_Fusozay var var - _enjoy life (the third concept from the Renrijra Krin's "Ahzirr Traajijazeri" book, showcased in chapter 5 and 11)

_Zaji - _sexy

_Arina - _love (noun)

_Mor kha'jay - _dark moons (general curse)

_Ma'jota - _insects

_Ari jer (zath) - _love you (too)

_Dran khrassa - _dull claws (general curse)

_Jetwijijri -_ shave-skin/cut-skin (insult to non-khajiit)


End file.
